Osama bin Metrosexual
Who but The Manolo, PJM's fashion guru, would have the guts to tell a terrorist that his new look is not working for him?
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One of the Manolo’s internet friends has asked the Manolo what he thinks of the new look on display in the most recent video-taped appearance of the odious Osama bin Laden.
In the simple phrase, we now have witnessed the arrival of “Osama bin Metrosexual”.
With the freshly dyed beard, it is obvious that here is yet another sorry example of the aging man who has resorted to the Grecian Formula SPF50 in order to stave off the ravages of time; the man for whom the grey beard is not the mark of honor and of the life well lived, but of the irretrievable loss of youth.
Trust the Manolo, Osama, this look is not working for you.
Such obvious and heavy-handed attention to personal appearance seems fussy and mannered. It is clear that you have been spending too much time with the Taliban, putting on eye makeup and taking glamour photos.
Certainly this is not the image the cave-dwelling man of action and jihad wishes to project. What comes next, video testimonials on Al-Jazeera for the power of Kiehl’s “Facial Fuel Energizing Wash”?
By comparison, here are two older men who know how to rock the gray hair, while still being dead sexy: Sean Connery and the Ayatollah Khomeini.
While Sean Connery’s status as the aged sex symbol is well known, what of the Ayatollah Khomeini?
All the Manolo can do is repeat the comments of the brilliant and courageous Orianna Fallaci, who came away from the 1979 encounter with the Ayatollah saying that he was “The most handsome old man I had ever met in my life. He resembled the ‘Moses’ sculpted by Michelangelo.”
So as you may see, the Ayatollah was the grey-bearded, authoritarian, Islamic hunk. Not for him were the ministrations of the celebrity beard colorist, pedicurist and makeup artist.
What you need now, Osama, is the complete makeover, something that will render you more acceptable to the majority of society.
If you send the Manolo your current address, the Manolo can have some friends deliver to you the special 1000-pound, laser-guided makeover package.
Trust the Manolo, you’ll never look better.
The Manolo, renowned shoeblogger, has recently launched a new celebrity blog - Ayyy!
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11 Comments
larry:And darling, drop the gold lame’ caftan. Nobody has been seen wearing THAT since the 70’s. And then only at Fire Island dinner parties.
Sep 9, 2007 - 6:41 am Roy Earle:I don’t think the new Binny is the same man as old Binny. The eyebrows have a different shape. The upper lip to nose distance is also different. But if pretending that it is him helps to maintain public support for the War on Terror, then, fine by me.
Sep 9, 2007 - 8:23 am Kat:*sigh* I think that I am in love with the Manolo… Only he could deliver such a devastating fashion snub, while offering such honest and helpful assistance!
Sep 9, 2007 - 8:33 am Mike Devx:Bin Laden now reminds me of a Muppet.
Not Miss Piggy or Kermit, but I think, yes, the Swedish Chef. “Ore, begore be gof foo fah, BORK BORK BORK BORK!”
And he is now SOOOOO concerned with global warming, evil corporations, and foolish home mortgage loans! Bin Laden, the Urban Metrosexual! Hee HAW!
That’s what you get when you let the American Marxist Muslim, Adam Gadahn, write your speeches. He probably vetted them through Cindy Sheehan, too.
Sheesh. What a joke. What a loser.
Sep 9, 2007 - 9:08 am rockdalian:Put the black turban on Sean and you get twins. Pay attention to the left eyebrow.
Sep 9, 2007 - 10:51 am SJBill:OBL is no-mo ZZ.
To me, they look to have different schnozzes. Hope the real one enjoys the 12 six-packs of virgins.
Sep 9, 2007 - 1:23 pm Achillea:You just know there’s a comb-over under that turban, too.
Sep 9, 2007 - 1:46 pm raincoaster:Osama bin Rhinoplasty. Osama bin Ringer.
Sep 9, 2007 - 5:25 pm Smokey:The entire mainstream media takes it on faith alone that this amateur actor is bin Laden.
He’s not.
Sep 10, 2007 - 11:22 am schnargley:He looks soooo faaaabulous! I always did like those sensual eyes, and thought so much more could be done with them, especially when you comepare them to those godawful slits Bush has. So glad he’s apparently got a new agent too! And those talking points were so very cool. Hello? Can anybody say MTV? And if only Britney had had his hair stylist on her tailspin MTV night.
Now, let’s talk about doing something with those sunken cheeks…
Sep 10, 2007 - 1:01 pm Marcus Aurelius:Another thing and I noted this years ago. Osama’s (at least in earlier photos) eybrows seem to be plucked. They seem plucked and arched just so.
Sep 11, 2007 - 1:44 pm