Pajamas Media

The New Nomads: Families In Search of Special Education

How did a guy with self-described "lefty, progressive, dirty hippie" politics end up in one of the most conservative communities in the U.S.? Robert Rummel-Hudson made the move for the reason he does everything - for his daughter Schuyler. Like many other families seeking suitable education for their special needs children, they "live like gypsies, packing up and following hope."

November 15, 2007 - by Robert Rummel-Hudson

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Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate it a little, but even on the best of days, I occasionally look around and wonder to myself, “How did I end up in Plano, Texas?” It’s a silly question, though, because the answer is big, the biggest thing in my life, and the thing for which I do everything of value.

We’re here for Schuyler.

When my daughter was diagnosed in 2003 with a rare neurological disorder called polymicrogyria, we were living in New Haven, Connecticut. We’d moved there from the Detroit area shortly after Schuyler was born, because, and I say this with love, there was no way we were going to raise our little girl in Detroit. The schools in Connecticut were rated as some of the best in the country, by golly; meanwhile, shortly after Schuyler’s birth, a six year-old student in Detroit brought a gun to school and shot another six year-old to death. Watching this on the news with our new baby, my wife and I felt that it was a pretty straightforward choice.

But by the time we discovered the cause of Schuyler’s persistent speech delay, the limitations of the New Haven schools had already become clear to us. Like many special needs parents, we were discovering the reality of education in this country. There are two worlds in American education, one for the neurotypical (or “normal”, I suppose) kids and one for the broken. In Connecticut as in much of the nation, special needs students, those often overlooked and unsexiest of student populations, faced an uphill struggle for services. Schuyler spent most of her days in a special education class, quietly seated off to the side while the teachers and their assistants spent all their time and energy taking care of children with severe autism and Down syndrome. It was understandable; many of these students would injure themselves or others if they weren’t supervised this way. But it was a poor environment for Schuyler.

We moved to Austin to be closer to the rest of my Texas family, and we were originally encouraged by the presence of the Texas School for the Deaf and the state’s mental health facility headquarters in Austin. But the reality of Schuyler’s school situation didn’t improve all that much, and once she began using a high-tech speech device to communicate, the school’s limitations began to seriously impede Schuyler’s development.

I suppose the greatest disappointment about Austin was that the town itself suited our lefty, progressive, dirty hippie beliefs more than any other place we’d ever lived. When we discovered, almost by accident, that there was a school district about 200 miles away that had a top-rated special education program AND an entire class devoted to kids who used devices like Schuyler’s, we were obviously thrilled.

The fact that it was Plano?

Well, we were concerned.

It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Plano. It just felt like someone else’s town. In 2005, the Bay Area Center for Voting research rated Plano as the fifth most conservative city in America. The year before, seventy-one percent of Collin County voted for George Bush in the presidential election. It was a town filled with McMansions, monster truck-sized SUVs with soccer team banner stickers in the windows for kids with names like Ashleigh and Madison, and megachurches with membership rosters numbering in the tens of thousands. It was a new planet for us.

And it had public schools (of interest to special needs parents since private schools aren’t regulated by the same federal mandates for disabled kids) that could help Schuyler.

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27 Comments

OmegaPaladin:

I can sympathize. Special needs kids are hot potatoes for schools, especially when they do not fit into the generic LD/BD/S&P classifications. It requires gifted teaching to train such children. My family had to badger the local school district into providing me with appropriate care. I can only imagine the difficulties for a child with a rare mental ailment like your Schuyler.

I wish you and your daughter the best in Plano, or wherever else you may roam.

Nov 15, 2007 - 7:21 am 3dc:

Considering he is playing the part of a leech on the Plano taxpayers he should respect them more and not be such a condescending ass.

Nov 15, 2007 - 7:23 am Smarty:

Maybe the dirty hippy is intelligent to realize that it is his dirty hippy politics that lead to bad schools, bad neighbors and bad civic attitudes.

But like most liberals, he is probably going to school board meetings and rallies and voting to turn Plano into the same liberal craphole he left. Where will he go after he spoiled Plano?

Nov 15, 2007 - 7:52 am dianainsa:

I wish Mr Rummel-Hudsen and his wife all the best with their child(Disclaimer). However I would question his assertion about learning tolerance. Tolerant folks don’t judge their neighbors by the cars they drive or the houses they live in. And as a Texan, I can assure you that Austin hasn’t been improved by “dirty hippie politics”. In fact, I can’t think of one institution that the Left has improved with their meddling.

Nov 15, 2007 - 9:19 am Keith_Indy:

A heartfelt story, and I hope your daughter does well.

Yes, you learned some things about tolerance, and probably need to learn more about it. But then, so do we all, as the comments above prove.

While being a conservative, I would really rate myself “socially tolerant,” in a live and let live kind of way. I don’t think it’s the business of government to tell people how to live (as long as they aren’t harming others in a real way.)

Nov 15, 2007 - 10:10 am jennifergrafgroneberg:

I’m happy for you that you’ve found a good place for your daughter, but I have to wonder: why do you single out children with autism, and Down syndrome? It seems to me unfair, and unnecessaary. The two dx you mention exhibit a wide range of abilities/disabilites.

And I can’t agree to call my son broken. He is a child with an extra chromosome; I wish more people could understand that different doesn’t mean broke.

Nov 15, 2007 - 10:12 am Allison:

3dc

How exactly is Rob a leech? Presumably he’s living in Plano and paying taxes there along with everyone else?

Nov 15, 2007 - 11:47 am Xanthippe:

I grew up in a Republican surburbia (Orange County, CA), I’ve lived in rural Washington state, and I’ve lived in liberal Santa Cruz.

The least tolerant people I’ve met live in the most liberal place I’ve lived.

The most tolerant people I’ve met live in the most conservative places I’ve lived.

Weird, huh?

Nov 15, 2007 - 1:01 pm hil:

Yikes, Rob! The conservatives don’t like your tone! They might back over you in their SUV! I thought it was a good article, and I relate to your situation. I found myself in a downtrodden dead-factory town in Pennsylvania so that I could share custody of my daughters with my ex-husband. I wonder every day what I am doing here, but being with my daughters is really what my life is all about.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Nov 15, 2007 - 1:25 pm Grumpy:

To: Xanthippe

I have had almost parallel experience with santa cruz and WA. These are the most forcefully homogenious and intolerant places i have ever lived.

To: Robert Rummel-Hudson

Forgive some of the hostility that you are reading here. Many people are very suspicious of lefties like your self. They have seen whole communities ruined by your “type.” ie Olympia WA, Astoria CA, Austin TX, Boulder CO, Butte MT, and so on… On the other hand, it is nice to see that someone from your lot has stepped out of their comfort zone and realized that non-leftists are not the rabid blood-fiends that they are portrayed as.
If you want further proof that leftists and progressives are amazingly closed minded and intolerant, I dare you to go back to Austin and tell your friends that there are some redeeming qualities to Plano. Wait one month and then see if any of those friends return you calls.

Nov 15, 2007 - 1:39 pm Jack Okie:

Bravo for you, Mr Rummel-Hudson, for putting your daughter’s needs first. Please forgive the hostile comments - we conservatives are getting pretty tired of being smeared as haters and brutes by your co-lefties. If you are not already going to church, I encourage you to find one and give it a try. You don’t have to already be a believer, you’ll be welcomed anyway. And you might learn more about life, and yourself.

Best wishes to you and your daughter.

PS: Do you appreciate the irony that you did exactly what Dr. Laura would have encouraged you to do?

Nov 15, 2007 - 3:20 pm Tay:

The comments are confusing me just a tad. Where did Rob insult conservatives? All he said was that it was a different world. He hasn’t insulted anyone here.

I liked the article a lot, Rob. I admire you for doing so much for Schuyler, and I love your blog.

Nov 15, 2007 - 5:38 pm Michelle:

Man oh man. Sometimes a conservative who spots a liberal out in the open is just like a dog who spots a cat out in the open. Doesn’t matter whether Lefty Cat over there wants to see Reactionary Dog dead, or wants to make peace. Reactionary Dog just isn’t evolved enough to overcome his instinct to haul tail over there and harass that cat. Even if it’s futile, or if it gets his nose smacked with a newspaper, or if he’s chased that cat one thousand times and never caught him yet. Poor dumb bastard. Bless his heart though; it’s all in his wiring and he just can’t help himself.

Attaboy, 3dc, Smarty & co.

Nov 15, 2007 - 7:37 pm Grumpy:

To: Michelle

What exactly are you trying to say? It’s ok, you can drop the analogies and just come out and say what ever it is that you are trying to say.

Nov 15, 2007 - 8:42 pm Colette:

Michelle’s comment is crystal clear and right on target, with one major exception. It’s not just Reactionary dog, it’s Lefty dog too. How sad that people use partisanship as a cover for their out of control personal rage. I’d like to believe it’s just the fringes of both parties that have these personality disorders, because otherwise there’s very little hope of uniting the country to achieve anything.

Nov 15, 2007 - 9:51 pm NJ:

While I’m thrilled your daughter is striving, it boggles me that you fail to see the irony of your story.

Maybe it’s because the left thinks people who voted for GWB are somehow all SUV driving, gun rack having, redneck being, straw chewing, confederate flag waving a-holes, but as you see, you’re mistaken. But not for your daughter, you would have been quite content to hold those bigoted beliefs to this day.

And how about that? People just want to raise their children. What a concept?! Another thing the left fails to understand is that people who voted for GWB for the most part don’t care, unless you insist on forcing acceptance. The left usually manages to do this in the public school system.

Nov 16, 2007 - 3:36 am Artemisia:

Rob, great article. I was one of the moms with a son with autism who chose a school district for its “friendliness” to my son’s needs. We, too, have ended up in a town that wasn’t necessarily a good fit for the adults, but worked well for the child, so no regrets. Best wishes for your daughter and family.

To 3dc: those of us who insist on the best services for our special needs children when they are small and most likely to make significant gains are saving you, the taxpayer, piles of money longterm in SSI and Medicaid.

Apology accepted and you’re welcome.

Nov 16, 2007 - 5:59 am Right Man in Left Town:

RRH: “there was no way we were going to raise our little girl in Detroit.”

Ahhh… Step One toward becoming a conservative: Have something worth conserving.

You and your wife sound like excellent parents, and I wish you the best in your quest. And if the one quest causes you to consider other quests, too, so much the better.

RRH: “if [the people in our community] are bothered by our differences, they keep it to themselves.”

Good. Glad to hear it.

Sigh. As a Righty living in a Lefty town, I can only dream of such acceptance.

You would not believe the pressure to conform, the politicization and regulation of all aspects of life, and the tendency to frame all issues in personal and moral terms.

Nov 16, 2007 - 9:38 am Farid:

My wife and I had were blessed with two special kids, Kendi was born in 1983 and Katie in 1989. In the period between ‘83 and ‘93, we moved form Utah to Washington state to Washington D.C. to Detroit Michigan to St. Louis Missouri to Miami Florida — moving from state to state to find “that” doctor that knew what was wrong with our children.

Over the years, we lost our house, two cars and most of our self respect as we fought to pay medical bills while giving our six kids some semblance of a normal life.

We lost Kendi four years ago (a nurses mistake, sadly) and Katie turns 18 next month.

Though we’re in our late 40’s - earl 50’s, both our bodies and souls have been battered over the past two-plus decades. We feel - and look - like people 10 years older.

But you know what? Our four “normal” (hee hee, like there is a normal?)kids have thrived and we have fond memories of our lost daughter. Katie will remain with us for the rest of her/our lives and that’s good.

I wouldn’t change a thing. We live in Idaho now and enjoy living s life full of hope yet empty of big-city stress. It’s been a tough ride, but it’s also been a worthwhile one.

Nov 16, 2007 - 10:25 am Kelley:

Great article Rob - it’s a beautiful thing to see true love described in such an enjoyable and articulate manner.
As for the backlash of comments by the Conservatives - wtf? Also, it’s hard for me to understand how anyone could admit to voting for and defending George Bush and his cronies after all we’ve been through at their hands at this stage in the game. If that doesn’t turn you off to the Republican party, I fear it is hopeless and nothing will.

Nov 16, 2007 - 3:21 pm Laura:

I share Rob’s views- when it comes to special needs kids. What annoys me is that while his writing is usually absorbing and witty- it is often barbed. Until his daughter was diagnosed, he lacked sensitivity and kindness to many types of people. Read his past blog enteries where he laughs at older folks or people he finds sub-standard. He talks about learning tolerance without ever exploring an important issue- would he be this supportive of special needs kids and this kind towards those he calls “broken” if he did not have this child to love? I think not. He’s not really dishonest about his past- but he sure glosses over his past behavior.

Nov 17, 2007 - 6:05 pm Erica:

I’m agreeing with Laura, here. Based on his past and present writing, Mr. R-H is not kind and supportive except as doing so benefits himself and his family. He very often expects the worst of people–hence his attitude about Plano. Most people are kind and generous, a truth that the R-Hs have benefited from over and over. Yet Rob presents himself and his family as lone soldiers in some war. He’s the combatant; the others of us are just trying to stay out of the way of his gun.

Nov 17, 2007 - 8:50 pm 3dc:

Michelle - you make quick generalizations. Just for your edification I started out to the left of shining path and went further right after the disaster of Carter. (a refugee from the “centennial education program” - ask a hardcore old leftist about it.)

He is a leach. Think about it. He contributed nothing to Plano and detested the sorts of people he saw living there. They paid their taxes for decades to create the “fine school system” that supports a child like his. So, he shops around to find a place that can educate his child. He has contributed nothing to creating and maintaining. Now, he is contributing, but, is reaping greater benefits than he is paying in school property taxes. How can he not be a leach? He is making others pay for his situation without having paid into the pool.

In that sense local educational services are like being part of an insurance pool. When you jump in with a pre-existing condition you adversely effect the premiums others in the pool must pay.

Think about it.

Nov 17, 2007 - 10:09 pm Steve:

Just for the record, I’ve known Rob since high school. Regardless of what you see in his “past blog entries”, I can confirm that Rob is a caring and compassionate guy. He’s also funny and I’ll be the first to say that his sense of humor sometimes bleeds over into the inappropriate. However, if you read his blogs extensively (and his soon to be released book), I think you’ll see a fascinating and intriguing peek at Rob the person instead of Rob the blogger. His writing is not only about his daughter, but about his own changing life. He’s a good man and I hope that the point of his article doesn’t get lost in the political bashing.

Nov 19, 2007 - 1:48 pm Laura:

Steve- I do read his blog extensively- and I enjoy it (usually). You are right- his humor is often inappropriate- even hurtful. Would he be so tolerant of others inappropriate humor if it was directed towards people like his child? I think the answer is “yes”- before she came into his life. Now he’d be enraged. There is no doubt he has matured and mellowed, but he’s still never really touched on this issue. Maybe he’s saving it for his book. BTW- it has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with kindness. Something RRH has often failed to demonstrate (in his blog at least). It’s just interesting to hear him on his soapbox now- not that I don’t agee with him about the issue. I do- 100%.

Nov 19, 2007 - 3:09 pm Eilish:

Rob, good for you for doing the best thing for your daughter! I think the point of the article should have been clear–the educational status quo throughout our country has severely limited the choices of many parents with special-needs kids and forces them to make huge changes often for basic services.

A good friend of mine recently experienced this when his mother and stepfather had to move 1000 miles to find a good program for his younger brother. As a parent, he totally understands and luckily, the whole family seems to be really happy with the change, but it was a difficult decision as they were moving away from a big support system.

Nov 19, 2007 - 11:12 pm Sue:

3dc, Rob has been a taxpayer lo these many years, paying into the public school system of various cities he was living in at the time. He was funding public schools with his taxes well before he even had a child. So calling him a “leach” (btw, it’s leech) is inflammatory and just plain wrong. With your model, no one would ever be able to move (like for a new job) and send their kids to a new school, simply because they hadn’t always been paying into that selfsame school system. That’s completely absurd.

The public school system is in place to educate *all* of society’s children. Consider yourself lucky others were willing fund YOUR public school education, despite the apparently dubious outcome.

Nov 20, 2007 - 2:08 pm