A Letter to George from Barack

What the new commander in chief is aching to tell his predecessor.

January 23, 2009 - by Pam Meister
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Dear George,

Can I call you George? You can call me Barack. Listen, I just want to thank you for being such a good sport on your last days in office. It must be hard when the guy coming in after you is so much cooler and more popular than you are, but you showed a lot of class, and I appreciate it. Michelle told me she thought you were just being a spineless wimp, but let’s just keep that between us, okay? I really don’t like it when she gets mad at me.

I also appreciate the fact that your staff didn’t trash the White House before we came in. I mean, I suppose they could have taken all of the “O”s off of the computer keyboards, screwed up the phone lines, and left garbage and leftover pizzas in the conference rooms, but they didn’t. That was pretty classy. I’m not sure if the same thing will happen when I leave office, seeing as I’ve rehired a bunch of Clinton’s staff, but I can always hope they’ve matured since 2001. But if it does happen, I have my stock answer all ready: “That’s not the (insert name here) I knew.” Works every time.

Look, I know a few of my supporters booed you when you showed up at the inauguration. Okay, not just a few. But you understand, right? I am the change they’ve been waiting for, so the last thing they wanted to see that magical morning was you. I’m sure it was nothing personal. Yeah, I know I said on the campaign trail that “we are the change we’ve been waiting for,” but you and I both know that was just a bunch of hogwash to mollify the mindless masses. Political pap, if you will. Heck, once the excitement of the inauguration dies down, they won’t pay any attention to what’s going on until the next election — or unless we get attacked, whichever comes first.

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Pam Meister is the editor for Family Security Matters and a contributor to Big Hollywood. Her work can also be seen at American Thinker. The views expressed here are her own.

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33 Comments

1. Jude:

My comment is not to comment, however, the letter could be added to Ann Coulters book, “Guilty”.

Jan 23, 2009 - 3:01 am 2. Deborah A Shaffer:

I know I have to pray for the office of the President now.

Jan 23, 2009 - 3:36 am 3. Chris in Toronto:

Libs don’t get irony.

Jan 23, 2009 - 4:04 am 4. Steve Bourg:

Dear Pam,
Excellent, and O has probably thought some of these thoughts over the last week. But who the heck knows. We know so little about his character, and what we do know is not good. We know he has no respect for decreasing the federal (& states) govts’ stranglehold on our Capitalism. That’s frightening enough, right there!

Jan 23, 2009 - 4:10 am 5. Cato:

I think this gives Obama too much credit for being sensible. I think the letter might read more like this:

Well, George,

It’s over. I won and your guys lost. Big time. Can’t wait to see what Nancy and her Nancy Boys (oh, am I funny!) find rooting around in your papers. In the meantime, I’m gonna dump the Israelis – I suppose we can take the ones that are left all in here to get some hard working skilled immigrants after the Iranians nuke them (that’ll insure I keep the Jewish vote), and concentrate on Afghanistan for a while, until I decide that’s lost like Iraq. After all, if the Russians couldn’t make Afghanistan work, who are we to think we’re so special.

Domestically, with help from clowns like McCain and Lindsay Graham, I’m gonna shovel money to our supporters, f*ck the white males who didn’t vote for me, and let in some more immigrants from the 3rd world to offset the Israelis. Gonna get Hillary Care II passed and redo social security. What a hoot! Bill Ayers and Bernadine can run education and Jerry Wright’s going to lead the prayer breakfast. Your grandkids ain’t goin’ to Yale, big guy.

And, because you’re a gentleman, you’re not gonna say peep — remember, I now control the IRS and your security detail.

So, suck it up!

Jan 23, 2009 - 5:30 am 6. Saltherring:

Arrogance will be “The One’s” downfall, if he believes even a portion of what the press says and prints. He tried to look and act a bit humble during the coronation, but it’s hard to feign humility when your groupies resemble the “Beatlemaniacs” of the sixties. When such idiots retreat back to MTV, it will be up to the rest of us to deal with what’s left of your image and ego……after the world kicks you around for a year or two.

Jan 23, 2009 - 5:48 am 7. SaraforAmerica:

P.S. Oh, and George, I hope you aren’t mad that I opened access to all your papers and stuff in the name of transparency. If it allows all my supporters and bush-haters to throw you in jail, you won’t hold it against me, right?

Because you are really a nice guy, I’ve always thought that, and if people want to investigate you, it’s not my fault. We’re friends, right? Thanks for being so swell, and saying such nice things about me. Everyone likes me, and I like that. A lot. My mom always said I was special.

Jan 23, 2009 - 6:12 am 8. Pam Meister:

Well done, Cato! :-)

Jan 23, 2009 - 6:50 am 9. ConservativeGirlie:

This is FANTASTIC!

What’s scary, however, is that you know he’d write a letter like this in a heartbeat.

Jan 23, 2009 - 7:04 am 10. goy:

Pam – you do realize that hacking into BHO’s Blackberry is a federal offense, yes (maybe even worse, now that we’re dealing with… you know… divine right)?

=P

Jan 23, 2009 - 7:42 am 11. Robert Hurley:

What a waste of type

Jan 23, 2009 - 7:50 am 12. Jim Baker:

What, no sense of humor Mr Hurler?

Jan 23, 2009 - 8:05 am 13. Sue:

Come back…please come back. I don’t want to do this anymore!!!!!

Jan 23, 2009 - 8:22 am 14. view from afar:

Nah, Obama put Biden in to terrify anyone who might want to kill him(as most French people think we awful racist Americans are going to do ???), imagine Biden as POTUS… even scarier, Pelosi.

Jan 23, 2009 - 8:45 am 15. tanstaafl:

I mean, I suppose they could have taken all of the “O”s off of the computer keyboards, screwed up the phone lines, and left garbage and leftover pizzas in the conference rooms, but they didn’t.

The O crowd might expect same, since some 130 tons of trash (the national mall was a disaster zone) were left behind following the inauguration festivities.

The People really trashed “their” new capital.

Nancy Pelosi

That’s one gratuitous and petty be-youtch. Who, besides the garbage remarks about prosecuting members of the previous admin., said yesterday that George Bush leaving DC …”felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head.”

(if Nancy would shut up for awhile, it would feel like a very dumb 1000# anteater were being lifted off my chest)

Jan 23, 2009 - 8:48 am 16. Pam Meister:

Goy, I’m awaiting a visit from the Secret Service any moment! :-)

Jan 23, 2009 - 8:59 am 17. Marie Claude:

(as most French people think we awful racist Americans are going to do ???) it would not be the first time ????

um, the french people, who that the french people ?

as we say, ["on" est un con]

Jan 23, 2009 - 9:13 am 18. Cato:

Anent my version, I note the following from The Politico:

“President Obama listened to Republican gripes about his stimulus package during a meeting with congressional leaders Friday morning – but he also left no doubt about who’s in charge of these negotiations. “I won,” Obama noted matter-of-factly, according to sources familiar with the conversation. Obama to GOP: ‘I won’ – Jonathan Martin and Carol E. Lee – Politico.com, http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0109/17862.html (last visited Jan. 23, 2009).”

This guy is NOT going to be fun to deal with.

Jan 23, 2009 - 11:21 am 19. Marc Malone:

Mildly funny. The libs’ll howl, of course. They never get tongue-in-cheek. Too insecure.

Jan 23, 2009 - 12:14 pm 20. jimino:

Dear “W”, I know that during the campaign and up to the present I was critical of you and your party, asking that you be held responsible for what I concluded were some serious shortcomings in the way you governed. But since then I have gotten my news from pajamasmedia and its crack reporters like Joe the Plumber and now realize that everything is just hunky dory, as they say in Wasilla, and these things I thought were problems were just my imagination. I know you will be too busy clearing brush to lend a hand, so could you forward me Dick Cheney’s contact info so I can rely on him as much as you were able to do? Ciao, Barry

Jan 23, 2009 - 2:27 pm 21. ThinkingPerson:

Two words Obama is dying to ask Bush…..”HELP ME!”

Jan 23, 2009 - 2:46 pm 22. The Historian:

POST BUSH: IS ISRAEL ALONE?
The timing of the Gaza intrusion was not a coincidence. What is the future of the American-Israeli alliance?

http://greensrealworld.blogspot.com/2009/01/post-bush-is-israel-alone.html

Jan 23, 2009 - 2:57 pm 23. Bilgeman:

#15 tanstaafl:

“Nancy Pelosi

That’s one gratuitous and petty be-youtch. Who, besides the garbage remarks about prosecuting members of the previous admin., said yesterday that George Bush leaving DC …”felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head.””

I always take the opportunity to compliment her on her pretty “hat”…

Jan 23, 2009 - 3:12 pm 24. Marie Claude:

uh, Cato you missed this one

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jviPe1jr3iqY_c_keTRz3RdpSH-g

seems that O doesn’t want to lift the Afghanistan play ground

Jan 23, 2009 - 4:59 pm 25. Amused:

It’s funny watching all you right wing death beasts claiming that the grapes were sour. Suck it up losers.

Jan 24, 2009 - 12:50 am 26. Towp:

Somebody been peekin’ at the mail? You could get into alot of trouble.
The only thing wrong that I saw is its probably true.

Jan 24, 2009 - 3:14 am 27. eon:

While he’s at it, the new POTUS could also write a letter to SCOTUS justice Clarence Thomas re a few of the “cute” things he and the new FLOTUS said about His Honor during the campaign. Just politics, you know.

I say write a letter because I somehow can’t see our new President actually apologizing face to face. Not his style, at all. Much like Bill, and Jimmy.

clear ether

eon

Jan 24, 2009 - 5:47 am 28. Cybergeezer:

I hear Barack was addressed as “Your Emptiness” and “His Emptiness”.
He is a true representative of the juveniles whom voted and campaigned for him.

Jan 24, 2009 - 5:54 am 29. goy:

@Amused, you’re the second clueless commenter I’ve seen at this site who hasn’t the slightest idea what the “sour grapes” idiom means (David S was the first – I’m sure others will follow). Sour grapes is the (typically) irrational, post-facto criticism of some previously desired ideal, i.e., denial of its desirability after that ideal turns out to have been unattainable. You can thank Public Education – currently the product of some 30-odd years of collectivist, constructivist hokum – for your ignorance.

The idiom you’re actually looking for is “sore losers”, which doesn’t apply here. For an example, you only need to look back at the collective left’s reaction to Al Gore’s failure to carry his own home state in the 2000 Election. In response to that failure, the sore losers in politics, in academia, in the entrenched media, and on the street have spent every waking moment of the last eight years lying about Bush, his administration, the economy, the Middle East, capitalism, conservatives and even themselves – all aimed at one goal: getting back control of the government that they are convinced is “rightly” theirs. BHO’s election was nothing more than an irrational reaction to these sore losers’ overwhelming and negative impact on our society. Thus, the euphoric “relief” for so many angst-ridden souls upon his inauguration.

Ironically, although you clearly won’t recognize it as such, that euphoria is a sign that you’re very likely about to get a lesson in the true meaning of the “sour grapes” idiom – uncritically invested as you and your ilk are in all of BHO’s rhetoric, promises – and worst of all – the utterly fantastical expectations inspired by his teleprompted charisma. It’ll be a show well worth watching.

Jan 24, 2009 - 9:52 am 30. WR Jonas:

Historian:
What do you think? The US-Israeli Alliance is dead. The BS that Obama fed the Israelis is just like everything else he contrives. It was a lie. The man is a calculated lying deceiver. He fancies himself as clever and inscrutable without realizing that many of us see him exactly as he is.
The Israelis better realize they are on their own and to keep their security -intelligence links to Obamas administration well pruned.

Jan 24, 2009 - 10:14 am 31. myth buster:

Re: US-Israel alliance
The question really boils down to, “Will the US survive until the administration takes office four years from now?

Jan 24, 2009 - 9:53 pm 32. candi:

well pple say obama was voted into office mostly due to his “change” promise. well how many days has he been in office now and so far there has been no change. there is still a black man(obama) living in government housing(the whitehouse) and tax payers dollars are still paying for his medical. hmmmm, where`s the change?

Jan 25, 2009 - 12:00 pm 33. Paul - Indiana:

I hope that someone hacks into the Obameister’s Blackberry. Maybe it will convince him to leave the toys at home.

Jan 26, 2009 - 1:43 pm