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An Advice Goddess Valentine on PJTV
An opportunity to have your love problems solved by Dr. Helen and Amy Alkon.
I have an upcoming show with Advice Goddess, Amy Alkon, coming up for Valentine’s Day — to be aired on February 11 — where we will be discussing relationship issues and problems.
If you have a question concerning your relationship (or lack of one) or any other pressing concern about love, sex or marriage, please leave it in the comments or if you want more privacy, email me ataskdrhelen@hotmail.com We will read some of them on the air and answer them during a segment.
Helen Smith is a psychologist specializing in forensic issues in Knoxville, Tennessee, and blogs at drhelen.blogspot.com.
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18 Comments
1. SpaceCat:Comedy gold! Wouldn’t miss it for the world (not). w00t.
Feb 3, 2009 - 8:11 am 2. K T Cat:My fiancee is upset that I bring up our relationship problems to people I’ve never met on the Internet. What should I do about this?
Feb 3, 2009 - 9:19 am 3. jfr:I have been dating a man for 2 1/2 years. In the first 8 months of our relationship, he was still emotionally back-and-forth with his ex-girlfriend of 6 years. He ended up sleeping with her, and I found out. He admitted it, but I was devastated and ended the relationship. He spent months doing everything he could to apologize, and finally I decided to give him another chance. We went to couples therapy for several months to see if I could forgive and forget and move forward after his deception, and he continued on his own to see a therapist weekly to help him with his issues. We are now together, and his ex girlfriend has had no contact with him (nor he with her) since I found out about the affair. In the meantime, we found out that she got married last May. My problem is that he does have a pattern of cheating – he cheated on his first wife with the girlfriend who he then cheated on me with – and cheated on the girlfriend with numerous women during their relationship. I am 40, and live 2 hours away from him. We see each other on weekends, and have a really good and comfortable relationship. However, I can’t seem to get over the cheating, and I still find myself worried that he is going to do it again – and in all honesty, I don’t trust him. He has done alot to gain back that trust, but I find myself jealous and apprehensive of some of his women friends who are single and attractive and live closer to him, even though I have met all of them, and he assures me that they are all just friends. I feel crazy for questioning him…but also crazy for not questioning him. How do you get the trust back?
Feb 3, 2009 - 9:33 am 4. Tom Paine:Re: comments 1-3
Snot, snot, snot,
Feb 3, 2009 - 10:12 am 5. OSweet:It’s all I’ve got
So I expound pretentious rot
My mind’s tied-up in a Gordian Knot
Though empty as a vacant lot
But all that’s in my big blind spot.
How do you get the trust back?
Lol.
I’m for some reason reminded of Lorena Bobbit.
Feb 3, 2009 - 10:13 am 6. K T Cat:Tom Paine, you knew I was kidding, right?
Right?
Feb 3, 2009 - 3:26 pm 7. Knights13:“My problem is that he does have a pattern of cheating ”
You don’t have a problem but a solution. Now that you have a pattern, you can draw a conclusion.
Feb 3, 2009 - 4:01 pm 8. DaveG:jfr – pretend your post was written by someone else. Now read it and ask “Why is she with that reprobate?”
Feb 3, 2009 - 6:45 pm 9. Typewriter_King:I don’t know how to phrase my concerns as a specific question, but I have a question about pursuing a young single mother from the perspective of a young man that is smitten for the single mom, but is apprehensive about relating with her kids.
OK, I think I have a precise question. Can it work without becoming the New Dad? Is it possible to have a good long-term relationship with the woman and just be thought of by the kids as the nice uncle that says around too much?
Feb 4, 2009 - 1:50 am 10. Typewriter_King:I don’t know how to phrase my concerns as a specific question, but I have a question about pursuing a young single mother from the perspective of a young man that is smitten for the single mom, but is apprehensive about relating with her kids.
OK, I think I have a precise question. Can it work without becoming the New Dad? Is it possible to have a good long-term relationship with the woman and just be thought of by the kids as the nice uncle that stays around too much?
Feb 4, 2009 - 1:53 am 11. Typewriter_King:Oops! Double post! Sorry!
Feb 4, 2009 - 1:54 am 12. Craig:If I divorce my wife, will she still be my sister?
Feb 4, 2009 - 4:25 am 13. Anonymous:Where is the best place too look for nice girls/women? (Besides PJM)
Feb 4, 2009 - 4:28 am 14. S. Cooper:Typewriter_King:
Man, don’t do that to those kids. That is low.
Take it from someone who’s mother always had some “nice uncle” hanging around who either a) wanted nothing to do with us and took our mom’s time away from us and made us feel unloved or b) was nice to us and got our hopes up that he would be our new dad. That’s the way kids’ minds work. Don’t do it to them if you have no intention of being a father figure to them and just want to get into Mom’s pants.
Feb 4, 2009 - 8:14 am 15. Paul -Indiana:#13. Church groups.
Feb 4, 2009 - 1:35 pm 16. Raymond:I am a divorced non custodial father who pays child support as well as half the cost of child care, private school, music lessions, and sports. I live pay check to pay check.
When dating I receive compliments on my contribution to my child’s wellfare. However, when these women find out that these contributions leave me financially surviving but not thriving they don’t want a second date. Most have told me that is it the money issue – all my extra money goes to the child – and there is nothing to spend on the ladies. They all want to travel over seas and have me pay for it.
Many times I am told how wonderful I am but without a fat wallet I am not relationship material.
It is ironic that I am a “liberal” supporter of equal rights for women, but the women whose equality I have lent my support to just want more of my money since I am the man. That does not sound very equal.
Of course in 7 years my child will be an adult and on her own leaving me an old man in my 50’s with a fat wad of cash on hand. Seven years from now how much money will it take to pruchase a woman?
Currently they are for sale (will have a relationship with me) for 3 weeks in Thailand and/or 2 weeks in Hawaii a year. The last date wanted a new house on the hillside overlooking the ocean. Current market makes that a $750,000 investment well out of my abilities to afford.
Feb 4, 2009 - 2:25 pm 17. kate:What do you consider to be the three biggest red flags when starting a relationship and the three best indicators that a relationship is likely to be successful?
Feb 4, 2009 - 5:29 pm 18. Marie Claude:umm, I expect “true advices’ to “true dilemnes”
Feb 5, 2009 - 9:28 am