Comments on: Ask Dr. Helen: Is Sleeping Apart Healthy for Marriage? http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 02:00:53 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Fazel http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-231230 Fazel Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:14:15 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-231230 My wife and I are getting into a lot of fights lately caus she sets her alarm for 1 hr before she gets up and keeps hitting the snooze button (she says this helps her wake up). But my argument is ,you set an alarm to wake up,not to hit the snooze button. So I end up on the couch like a single man wishing I had someone next to me. The fights could lead to our divorce as we are both grumpy and have terrible days ,but I do love her. My wife and I are getting into a lot of fights lately caus she sets her alarm for 1 hr before she gets up and keeps hitting the snooze button (she says this helps her wake up). But my argument is ,you set an alarm to wake up,not to hit the snooze button. So I end up on the couch like a single man wishing I had someone next to me. The fights could lead to our divorce as we are both grumpy and have terrible days ,but I do love her.

]]> By: Rashid http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-207273 Rashid Fri, 20 Feb 2009 21:48:28 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-207273 My wife and I were sleeping together during the first two years of our maariage. Thereafter we splited to separate rooms when we had our second child (girl). I usually sleep together with the boy (first child) while my wife sleep in a separate room with the girl (to take care of the baby girl). This we have been doing for about two years now. This does not realy affects our marriage much except that I find it strange and relunctant to always wake up from my room to meet her in her room whenever we need to make love. some times I slept off and some times I need to wait until our boy with me had slept. We are planning to re-arrange things soon. My wife and I were sleeping together during the first two years of our maariage. Thereafter we splited to separate rooms when we had our second child (girl). I usually sleep together with the boy (first child) while my wife sleep in a separate room with the girl (to take care of the baby girl). This we have been doing for about two years now. This does not realy affects our marriage much except that I find it strange and relunctant to always wake up from my room to meet her in her room whenever we need to make love. some times I slept off and some times I need to wait until our boy with me had slept. We are planning to re-arrange things soon.

]]> By: Frankolin http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-165305 Frankolin Fri, 05 Dec 2008 23:47:11 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-165305 I sleep alone I prefer it, and my wife and I don't touch each other at all, we love each other very much, and we both live for our little girls. I think this whole sex and sleeping thing is a bunch of bunk, and People are stupid to allow society to dictate to you how to sleep, or sex, or Viagra, etc. People just need to grow up, no contraception, no sex, just try it sometime, you'll be shocked to believe you can actually contain yourselves, and you may just appreciate your mate a lot more for it. I sleep alone I prefer it, and my wife and I don’t touch each other at all, we love each other very much, and we both live for our little girls. I think this whole sex and sleeping thing is a bunch of bunk, and People are stupid to allow society to dictate to you how to sleep, or sex, or Viagra, etc. People just need to grow up, no contraception, no sex, just try it sometime, you’ll be shocked to believe you can actually contain yourselves, and you may just appreciate your mate a lot more for it.

]]> By: ann http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-157157 ann Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:00:55 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-157157 Second marriage for both of us. He snores(loud) It keeps me up. lately he has been sleeping on the couch. I guess he feels bad for keeping me up. i miss him but have been sleeping much better. Maybe one day we can get this fixed. I often think a king size bed would help. Too bad my husband is cheap. Second marriage for both of us. He snores(loud) It keeps me up. lately he has been sleeping on the couch. I guess he feels bad for keeping me up. i miss him but have been sleeping much better.
Maybe one day we can get this fixed. I often think a king size bed would help. Too bad my husband is cheap.

]]> By: Carolyn http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-140493 Carolyn Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:50:09 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-140493 That is supposed to be TWO years. We have been married a little over TWO years. That is supposed to be TWO years. We have been married a little over TWO years.

]]> By: Carolyn http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-140491 Carolyn Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:48:35 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-140491 After several failed marriages and several failed relationships, I do not feel comfortable sleeping apart. My husband of only tw years purchased a magnetic therapy mattress which has memory foam in it. I can not tolerate this mattress, it is too hot and I sink in it. So now he sleeps on a queen sized one in the middle bedroom and I sleep alone on a twin mattress. Nobody sleeps on the new king pillow top mattress in the master bedroom. I do not feel comfotable sleeping in a bedroom that was his and his former wife's who is deceased. We will be moving from this house but due to damages from a hurricane that will be delayed even more months. I regret agreeing to move into the same house, espceically after learning of the previous spouses lifestyle. I have sleep apnea and a seizure disorder. It wasn't until after we married that I learned I was having seizures in my sleep. Now do I feel comfortable sleeping alone? No I do not? I lose sleep. It takes me too long to get to sleep. He gets up earlier than I do and then wakes me regardless of how long it takes me to get to sleep. I stay sick all the time because of allergies to things in this house and to this area. It's depressing. Sleeping alone in this case is wrecking my marriage. I didn't marry him to sleep alone. I feel like I am playing second fiddle to a mattress. And SEX what is it? I can't remember. After several failed marriages and several failed relationships, I do not feel comfortable sleeping apart. My husband of only tw years purchased a magnetic therapy mattress which has memory foam in it. I can not tolerate this mattress, it is too hot and I sink in it. So now he sleeps on a queen sized one in the middle bedroom and I sleep alone on a twin mattress. Nobody sleeps on the new king pillow top mattress in the master bedroom. I do not feel comfotable sleeping in a bedroom that was his and his former wife’s who is deceased. We will be moving from this house but due to damages from a hurricane that will be delayed even more months. I regret agreeing to move into the same house, espceically after learning of the previous spouses lifestyle. I have sleep apnea and a seizure disorder. It wasn’t until after we married that I learned I was having seizures in my sleep. Now do I feel comfortable sleeping alone? No I do not? I lose sleep. It takes me too long to get to sleep. He gets up earlier than I do and then wakes me regardless of how long it takes me to get to sleep. I stay sick all the time because of allergies to things in this house and to this area. It’s depressing.
Sleeping alone in this case is wrecking my marriage. I didn’t marry him to sleep alone. I feel like I am playing second fiddle to a mattress. And SEX what is it? I can’t remember.

]]> By: Love and Marriage and Sleep | No More Restless Nights http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-136557 Love and Marriage and Sleep | No More Restless Nights Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:42:07 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-136557 [...] very interesting post over at Ask Dr. Helen via [...] [...] very interesting post over at Ask Dr. Helen via [...]

]]> By: Jane http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-115004 Jane Sun, 28 Sep 2008 23:04:28 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-115004 My guy travels for his job, a week at a time usually, several times a year. And I get cold when he's gone. Even with the dog and the cat having more space to be snuggly, it's just not the same. We also get a lot of conversation in, at both ends of the night, that never seems to happen otherwise, when the kids and the resident elder take most of our attention. If there were medical reasons, I'd deal with those, whatever it took, before going for the separate beds solution. My guy travels for his job, a week at a time usually, several times a year. And I get cold when he’s gone. Even with the dog and the cat having more space to be snuggly, it’s just not the same. We also get a lot of conversation in, at both ends of the night, that never seems to happen otherwise, when the kids and the resident elder take most of our attention. If there were medical reasons, I’d deal with those, whatever it took, before going for the separate beds solution.

]]> By: Chuck http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-112556 Chuck Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:56:02 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-112556 I've been married to my present wife for 13 years, having lost my first love tragically. I snore like a lumberjack, or so I'm told by my wonderful wife. My first wife often complained about my snoring too. Present wife says I actually slow the rotation of the ceiling fan on the intake. LOL I've told her I would gladly sleep in another room or the sofa but she won't hear of it. She just gives me a light punch in the side and I'll usually turn over and stop for awhile. I never feel it and sleep like the proverbial 'dead person'. There is no greater pleasure in my life than waking early, turning toward my soundly sleeping wife, and just watching her for a bit. I can only imagine what a tortuous night she might have gone through just sleeping with me. I’ve been married to my present wife for 13 years, having lost my first love tragically.

I snore like a lumberjack, or so I’m told by my wonderful wife. My first wife often complained about my snoring too. Present wife says I actually slow the rotation of the ceiling fan on the intake. LOL

I’ve told her I would gladly sleep in another room or the sofa but she won’t hear of it. She just gives me a light punch in the side and I’ll usually turn over and stop for awhile.

I never feel it and sleep like the proverbial ‘dead person’.

There is no greater pleasure in my life than waking early, turning toward my soundly sleeping wife, and just watching her for a bit. I can only imagine what a tortuous night she might have gone through just sleeping with me.

]]> By: Geezerlust http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/comment-page-2/#comment-112200 Geezerlust Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:56:11 +0000 http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-is-sleeping-apart-healthy-for-marriage/#comment-112200 Having been married to my starter wife for 52 years, we have always enjoyed sleeping together nekkid. It's the touch of her and the shadow of her smile. She snores like chain saw but I am a heavy sleeper. Fortunately, I was able to deduce that she has sleep apnea and she sleeps way better and more safely now with a c-pap machine complete with hose-nose. I would not have noticed from a separate bedroom. I wouldn't change a thing. Love is grand, no doubt about it. Having been married to my starter wife for 52 years, we have always enjoyed sleeping together nekkid. It’s the touch of her and the shadow of her smile. She snores like chain saw but I am a heavy sleeper. Fortunately, I was able to deduce that she has sleep apnea and she sleeps way better and more safely now with a c-pap machine complete with hose-nose. I would not have noticed from a separate bedroom. I wouldn’t change a thing. Love is grand, no doubt about it.

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