Comments on: Ask Dr. Helen: Should Single Men Be ‘Bagged and Tagged?’

By: relaxed_diplomacy

relaxed_diplomacy — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:18:52 +0000

At the end of the day women get much more out of relationships than men. Men are much more capable and ultimately have higher standards. Women feed off men physically, psychologically, intellectually, financially, etc, and the dynamic is entrenched and habitual. This is historical partly because it maximised offspring, evolution at work. But this system involves ignorance and pain and inefficiency, and at times inequality, that can be replaced with better ways of doing things.

By: Ecas

Ecas — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 07:43:35 +0000

As a single male I can see where the original author is coming from. I do not feel that my friends wives are sizing me up for their single friends, instead they speak down to me and even speak slowly like I have a mental disability. Mind you I have my PhD and an accomplished author to boot and was married, toured the world, and divorced before most of these women even completed high school (that is if they even made it that far). Now I know you married women out there would love to believe I am some sort of middle aged “player” out at the bar every weekend picking up “chicks”. Well I hate to break it to you, being single does not mean all men behave like that. In fact I have been sexually inactive for nearly a decade.

I truly believe that many of these women are threatened by those of us who do not feel that women offer us anything we need. Many of us “evil single men” can cook, clean, pay bills, and tend to daily chores without any micromanagement. We just enjoy our lives the way they are, and the “wives” will just have to learn to accept this.

By: David

David — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:46:39 +0000

As 40 year old never married man, I have had similar experiences.
A happy single man with no interest in marriage is viewed as a threat to married women, and all women. I have had the conversation, “don’t you want to get married?” and I respond “No way, will never happen, ever”. Then I get the look of “he must be insane”. Women have been taught that all men want them and want to marry them. To not want them does not make sense to a woman, it goes against everything they have been taught.
The questions keep coming, I respond “why would I get married, there is nothing in for me, I don’t want children. Then I get the look of “he must be insane”. Women have been taught that all men want children and will marry them in order to have children. To not want children does not make sense to a woman, it goes against everything they have been taught.
Then I get comments like “aren’t you afraid of being alone”, or “I think you have not met the right women”, etc. Again, they don’t get it, and are unwilling to accept that a man can be happy without a woman. Again, because it is contrary to everything they believe to be true about men.
From my experience, men that shun marriage befuddle women because they have trouble comprehending “A man needs marriage like fish needs a bicycle”. And get very threatened by this fact.

By: kabud

kabud — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:23:15 +0000

Well, Chuck,

if `she` would have a real lover or any attention from men, don’t you think she would be THERE ?
and not here propagating illogical irrational and untruth worthy bull?

I suspect there are just 1-2 of `she` here and she uses different nicknames because she is so lonely and may be even has cancer?

would be interesting to find out.

Hey, ddc, or what is you current name:

do yo have cancer?

if not sure: go, check it

By: Chuck Pelto

Chuck Pelto — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:48:28 +0000

TO: kabud
RE: Except….

because good women are still considered NORMAL by men and there is nothing to discuss” — kabud

…in their worthy praise; considering the ilk we come across here.

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[Who can find a virtuous woman. -- Proverbs]

Ooo! OOOO! — CBPelto

By: kabud

kabud — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:46:39 +0000

Chuck:

>I won’t argue that observation. I’ve seen it often enough in corporate life.

agree. opponent just has insecurities and refuses to understand differences in sexuality btw men and women

she thinks wrongly that if there is a `competeeng` female that men notice and if that femal signals to men- they will AUTOMATICALLY submit

it is absolutely not true.

in real life any `new` intimacy is very hardly reached and i may also say: some metaphysics is always involved, like they say that marriages are made in heaven

And of course, men are trying to make women happy. It is nature. Women are reacting to this usually in the opposite way, which is genetic intuition directed towards selecting the best.

Somehow `the best` are perceived as `the hardest to get` hence all the sex wars:)

to Lea:

> I’m hearing is a lot of stories about bitchy women.

because good women are still considered NORMAL by men and there is nothing to discuss

By: Lea

Lea — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:04:20 +0000

If you and other women would start LISTENING to men, instead of insulting them the minute you hear something you don’t like, you would quickly learn there are millions of angry men out there. Well I'm here aren't I? Doesn't that show that I was trying to listen? But what I'm hearing is a lot of stories about bitchy women. Which is all very interesting and I have lots of stories about bitchy men and women. Nobody is saying women are perfect, just that they aren't ALL evil. It's hard to have a discussion about the the other stuff when you get shouted down as a liar who is projecting and probably fat every time you make a comment.

By: Lea

Lea — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 01:53:42 +0000

Trying to figure out if I’m as much a liar as Lea?

Oh dear lord. It’s been like a week since I posted on this board!

To use a favorite phrase of yours, must have hit a nerve.

i.e., men do not want to be used as a meal ticket and women do not want to be used for their body parts.

Excellent Summation. It all comes down to what is the best way (for those who want to get married) to chose a mate who is going to be interested in more than that. I have a cousin who married this guy (totally sweet guy) who had been engaged (or seriously dating) some girl before that and his parents were worried because her parents were divorced. So, when he ended up with my cousin (parents married 40ish years, and most of our family in long marriages with very little divorce as well) they were really happy, because they believed that was a good predictor of my cousin’s likelihood of staying married to him. I always thought that was kind of interesting.

By: NB

NB — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 11:32:05 +0000

To FDAS
“And everything revolves around what women want. Structure your whole life around what a woman *could* want, and I doubt you even have *that* right.”

Did you read the rest of my post? All if it was basically about be you and be happy with you and let everyone else think what they want to think. That said, it’s a fact that hetero women are looking for men. Man and whiny b*tch are diametrically opposed ideas.

By: irlandes

irlandes — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:49:19 +0000

>>I wasn’t speaking of this thread only, but it just seems like Dr. Helen’s comments have attracted a lot of angry men in general. Which is why I said I’m not surprised.

If you and other women would start LISTENING to men, instead of insulting them the minute you hear something you don’t like, you would quickly learn there are millions of angry men out there. OF course you are convinced if men are angry at women, it is the men who are at fault because women are perfect in every way. Hee, hee, hee. (To spare you the time it takes to type in the usual insults from the feminist catechism, married 33 years and currently in Mexico to get as far from most American women as I can get.)