Pajamas Media

98 Comments

1. John Podhoretz:

What is it with women and back rubs?

Jun 26, 2007 - 6:40 am 2. Phil R:

Bravo! Four excellent choices; survival skills in the literal sense (e.g., swim 20 yards) and in the cultural sense (surf the net). I’m sure more suggestions will be forthcoming.

Jun 26, 2007 - 6:55 am 3. sharinlite:

An adult (defined as over 21) should be do anything they wish, provided they follow the following rule without exception:

An harm none!

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:03 am 4. Dr. Ellen:

Be able to use basic tools – hammer, saw, wrench, file, pliers, crowbar – and be able to recognize which is appropriate for the job. And in connection with computers and e-mail, be able to recognize which plug fits in which socket.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:03 am 5. Curly:

For men:

Cook a simple meal.

In public restrooms, flush. Wipe the seat dry, if you’ve left it wet. (Do as you wish at home.)

For everyone:

Use turn signals when appropriate.

Accept a compliment graciously, and without self-denigration.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:06 am 6. pete the elder:

“Have you talked to perfectly competent people who say they have no idea how to use the Internet, or who do not use email because it is “too complicated”?”

This may not be the best suggestion since in order to read this you must already be familiar with a computer. However, Forget surfing the web and email. I am a public librarian and a huge portion of our society does not even know how to use a mouse or open a file. And the concept of a password/username that only they and the computer know is beyond them. And age is not a factor as I have seen people in their early 20’s not know the very basics of how to operate a computer. I spend at least half an hour a day helping person after person with the basics of computer operation. And with everyone from the federal government to local businesses requiring people to use a computer to access basic services and apply for jobs this is a huge and easily learnable skill that many schools are not teaching well enough and older adults have no incentive to learn until they need it right away.

Related to this is a basic skill every adult should know (and that our schools should be teaching): typing. Not 80 words a minute maybe, but at least 10 or 15 words a minute so that it does not take you two hours to type up a job application.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:13 am 7. John J. Olson:

Dr. Helen, I am no more qualified than anybody else to say what an adult should be able to do, except in the area of personal finance. I specialize in that as a Certified Financial Planner(tm).

Can we judge the particular skills an adult should have by the consequences of lacking them? You can die if you don’t know basic electrical safety but no one ever died because they didn’t know the Macarena. If people don’t know how to handle their money properly, they can end up broke. That’s unpleasant but it’s not like ending up sick or dead because you didn’t know how to use pesticide safely.

So I suggest an heirarchy of skills adults should have, ranked by the severity of lacking them, although I myself cannot speak as an expert on anything but personal finance.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:14 am 8. Kent:

Balance a checkbook correctly.

Understand the distinction between being articulate and being right.

Name their Congresscritter and Senators.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:16 am 9. MathMom:

Change a tire. Especially women.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:16 am 10. Wondering:

Should a doctor apologize to a patient when it is realized that the patient was emotionally injured by the doctors mistake to keep proper boundries set?

Because the patient cared for this doctor, there will never be a lawsuit filed even though other doctors and professionals have recommended this route. However, the patient has suffered for a long time and would heal so much better if the doctor who made the mistake would apologize to this patient. What is your opinion, Dr.Helen?

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:28 am 11. Jim:

The ability to read and comprehend what is read, and to communicate effectively. To understand basic mathematics without the aid of a tool (cash register, calculator). An adult should also be aware of their responsibilities as a citizen of the country where they reside, and undertake to fulfill their responsibilities. Finally an adult should be able to use their brain to think before they act.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:33 am 12. The Gaunt Man:

Here’s a few:

Know how to keep things to yourself. In the age of MyFaceLinkedNetwork, too many people think everything is everyone’s business. I don’t want to know about your boyfriend/girlfriend/parent/dog/latest piercing. I especially don’t want you telling others about mine. I shared it with you in confidence, and I expect you to treat it appropriately.

Learn to spell. I don’t just mean kids who think “OMG, j/k, WTBD?” constitutes a convesation. I mean grown adults who can’t spell monosyllabic words. And please, read what you right for grammar, punctuation and spelling BEFORE you post your ignorance for all the world to see.

Finally, know how to use, care for, and respect a blade, whether it be a pocket knife or a claymore. First, I’ve seen too many people from age 10 to 50 hurt themselves because they didn’t respect the tool they were using (same as a gun). Second, same as a gun, the day may (but hopefully won’t) come that you will need to know how to use one. And unlike guns, they don’t run out of ammunition.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:38 am 13. Doc8404:

Be able to properly express sympathy both verbally and in writing.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:40 am 14. Gary:

Make up your own bed and sleep in it.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:54 am 15. JorgXMcKie:

Give a *genuine* compliment and accept (and take to heart) a *genuine* criticism.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:00 am 16. RebeccaH:

Sensible suggestions all. I would add: know basic first aid. Know where to apply pressure to stop bleeding, and be able to recognize the symptoms of a heart attack or stroke, and be prepared to act quickly. Teach yourself not to panic when the time comes.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:01 am 17. gcblues en nicaragua:

thank you for re-affirming my decision to exclude association with anglo women.

me, i prefer to analyze less, and live more. que pathetica.

how does self absorbed fit? like a glove.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:07 am 18. Jeffsters:

Build a fire. This could be anything from a campfire to a hotel fireplace – a mood setter to a life saver.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:09 am 19. Kent:

Be able to stay on topic.

Be able to recognize irony when you see it.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:09 am 20. Bruce Hayden:

Expanding on Rebecca’s suggestion on first aid: CPR and the Heimlich maneuver are also useful.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:19 am 21. RiverCocytus:

Know how to keep a plant alive, which is basic- stick your finger in the soil, is it dry? Is the plant drooping? Does it need fertilizer? Can I follow the instructions on the fertilizer container?

Also, know how to politely ignore racist trolls.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:22 am 22. Rudersdorf:

First aid. You might just be the first person at the scene of an accident. It might very well be your family. Can you take care of emergencies until help arrives? CPR is useful, too, but first aid goes a long way. Classes are available at a lot of places.

Also, disaster preparedness. Know what you need (food, shelter, clothing) for various possible disasters (weather / natural disasters, and, alas, possible war-like attacks.) Things happen. Be ready.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:22 am 23. Elizabeth:

I’m seconding the tire changing skill.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:31 am 24. Lola:

for men and women, know how to knit. As long as wool garments are protected against moths, these will last a good long time and will come in handy if the world does enter a cooling stage.

Not necesary, but a related skill and good to have: learn how to spin. You will always have a supply of yarn as long as you have access to animal and plant fiber. Yes, you can spin yarn from dog hair, although you might not appreciate being a dog magnet.

Even more: know how to assemble a drop spindle. Mankind was making clothes using yarn and thread spun using just a stick and disk (could be stone, baked clay, whatever) for 5000 years. Spinning wheels are a fairly recent invention, having been in common use only since 15th century or so.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:32 am 25. Charlie On the Pennsylvania Turnpike:

I am a male in my early 40’s.

Let’s see…

Drive a stick shift- Check
Be able to swim: I swim in the same manner in which bricks don’t. While I always avoided pools, I have had a canoe tip on me. I guess I survived.
Surf the web and answer an email – As evidenced by this and my humble blog, Check!
Understand and be able to use a basic handgun. – Check and check!
Give a good backrub. – have been with my much-better-half for about 20 years now; still haven’t mastered this, and she’s given up on me. And while I am game for her feet, she’s too tickleish to even discuss it.

80% isn’t bad, is it?

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:44 am 26. Beryl Gray:

I am tempted to quote Kipling:

“If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,”

But to be less poetic and more practical, I would say that an adult should be able to communicate with and train children.

Adults need to be able to pass on knowledge, facts, and methods; but they should also be able to pass on values, culture, and all the other things that frame the purpose for all the rest.

I view the “generation gap” of the 1960s as a massive failure of the parental generation to communicate to their children why the hell they should care.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:44 am 27. Yishai:

Get and keep at least a menial job.

Shake hands firmly.

Unconditionally love someone.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:51 am 28. DanFromDetroit:

Any well-rounded person should understand the basic principles behind the tools they use.

Jun 26, 2007 - 8:52 am 29. Bill:

From Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries, Vol. 13, No. 10:

“What should a young male of 21 know and what should he be able to do?… We agreed upon “civics” or what was called American government. A young man should know how this country is run and how it got that way. He should know the Federalist Papers and de Tocqueville, and he should know recent world history.”

“A young man should be computer literate, and moreover should know Hemingway from James Joyce. He should know how to drive a car well – such as is not covered in “Driver Ed.” He should know how to fly a light airplane. He should know how to shoot well. He should know elementary geography, both worldwide and local. He should have a cursory knowledge of both zoology and botany. He should know the fundamentals of agriculture and corporate economy. He should be well qualified in armed combat, boxing, wrestling, judo, or the equivalent. He should know how to manage a motorcycle. He should be comfortable in at least one foreign language, and more if appropriate to his background. He should be familiar with remedial medicine.”

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:11 am 30. Lyle Sanford:

To be able to express oneself musically – Sing a favorite song, play a melody on an instrument, clap or sing along with a favorite band – It seems the human brain is deeply wired for music making (Levitin – “This Is Your Brain On Music”) and it would be a shame not to use that potential.

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:15 am 31. Fritz:

One very important skill, which hasn’t been mentioned, is being able to listen. It is very hard to learn anything when you are running off at the mouth all the time. And contrary to what many people seem to believe, it is not all about you, but rather all about us.

Loved the Heinlein quote. It has been many years since I read about Lazarus Long and I think the quote is from one of the stories about him. As long as we are on the subject of Heinlein quotes, I’ll offer another one. “You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.” I think both of those are from Time Enough For Love.

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:27 am 32. Terry:

Understanding the local language. That means knowing “pop” is the word for coke in the south, “hold” is a word for many things in West Virgina, and if you live on the Mexican border, some spanish like “como estas usted”, “Estay aqui”, you get the drift.(point)

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:40 am 33. Econ-Scott:

All Well & Good Dr. Helen:

Soon enough comes the “Hard Part”, teaching all this to the next generation. I have found in the Upscale suburbs, and middle income town neighborhoods, many many boys who are enthusiastic, about going to the rifle range, dropping an engine in a car, going on a 4 week wilderness trek, driving the older sisters stick shift car late at night when they are 14 years old.

Men are working longer because we have to. Don’t do it and the clients or the Super or whomever simply raises an eyebrow looks down their nose and says “NEXT”.

So the suburbs, particularly the upscale ones are run by … women.

A group in America that has been largely subverted.

My boys are required to AND, While all my girls swim, drive stick shift, shoot sporting clays, can camp, cook, waterski, Surf, snoboard, pitch manure and one can set a bone;

They only can do that plus Calculus and play the piano Only because my wife and I taught them.

Not so most of the kids in town, and their moms, and many of their DADs

Good luck with your campaign.

Here’s a key. [ They've got to have the "Want to". ]

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:42 am 34. Dana:

For women: Be able to say ‘NO’!

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:55 am 35. Mark:

Learn T9 text messaging–emphasis on T9.
WHAAAAT?
Yes, the kids can do it and adults should at least have some feel about where we’re heading. Also, watch this:

http://www.glumbert.com/media/shift

Then read “The Singularity is Near.”
Then learn to fly an airplane. It’s easier than driving a stick shift. And if you can’t swim or send an e-mail, stay away from the water, and hold onto your hat.

Jun 26, 2007 - 9:58 am 36. Steve Woodruff:

A few other candidates…

- keep your word
- show basic respect for others
- create and stick to a budget
- laugh at yourself

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:00 am 37. Ralph Edwards:

Be more caring. Be less selfish.
Know the words to “The Very Thought Of You” and sing[or even say] them to someone or lots of someones[or the dog or cat] once a week or everyday.
And repeat;be more caring/less selfish.
The very thought of you,my love.

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:12 am 38. Dwight Brown:

This reminds me strongly of an idea I take out and play with when otherwise not occupied: a class for high school students called “[Crud] You Need To Know”.

I was glad to see “Understand and be able to use a basic handgun” on the list, but I’d expand that to a basic knowledge of gun handling and gun safety in general (both handguns and long guns).

Someone else mentioned “change a tire”: I’d expand that to “do basic car maintenance”, including changing a tire, checking fluid levels, and checking tire pressure.

I’d also add:
* a basic understanding of statistics at the level of “How To Lie With Statistics”.
* how to interact with law enforcement: what to do if you’re pulled over for a traffic ticket, what to do and expect if you’re arrested, and how the civil and criminal justice systems work generally.

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:17 am 39. DiscerningTexan:

As long as we stipulate that a woman also needs to have those back rub skills..

My pet peeve is adults who VOTE who don’t have a clue about the political process or who their senator, congressman, or vice president is. You see these man on the street interviews where a person cannot even tell you the branches of government. Why are such people determining my future and the future of our country?

I’m with you on the pistol thing, but we also need to stipulate that the adult is not bipolar or schizo…

Finally, just one question: Pajamas? Is this a reference to Pajamas Media or just a hint to Glenn?

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:18 am 40. ErikZ:

Wow. I’m surprised no one has mentioned: Know how to make a meal from ingredients you buy from the grocery store.

Things like:
Making bread, or cookies.
Pizza.
Stew.
Tuna Salad.
Roasted chicken breasts.

None of these things are hard. But I get a lot of surprised looks when I do them.

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:22 am 41. Shinobi:

Important ones I don’t think were mentioned:

Sew, at least enough to fix a hole in your clothes or a button.

Clean effectively (operate a vaccum, mop, duster etc.)

Read a map

Use the Yellow Pages

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:31 am 42. W. J. Jeffreys:

Advice from a daily reader of advice columns:
– I am turned off by Dear Abby b/c she frequently publishes PSA’s (Public Service Announcements). don’t do that. You know what I mean? Those letters she publishes from the Director of something that goes like this:
National Day Against Heart Disease is comming up. Let me advice all your readers to avoid red meat, transfatty acids, eating paint, driving after dark and the the boogy man. Signed,
Mr. Joe Safety, Director
American Foundation For Heart Disease

She runs that stuff all time from one group or another. I read advice columns to get insight about personal situations involving people’s every day problems and not to be solicited or advised by some Director of a Non-Profit Foundation.

Just give the advice in your specialty. Stay away from the PSA’s.

Joe Schmo

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:32 am 43. The Cheerful Oncologist:

What kinds of things should an adult be able to do?

1. Hold a conversation with another adult without leaving the impression that you are an idiot, or worse, self-centered.

2. Ignore those aggravating but minor vicissitudes of modern life.

3. Be able to identify at least one piece of music composed by the old masters. Extra credit is given for Mahler.

4. Catch a fish.

5. Learn to ignore the little voice in your head that begs to do something utterly foolish, like drink too much and then drive.

6. Name three songs recorded by Frank Sinatra.

Jun 26, 2007 - 10:47 am 44. pch1013:

“a gun is a tool, so it is important to know how the darn thing works just in case you are put in a position where you have to handle one at some point in your life”

Using the same logic, one could also argue that it is incumbent upon every sentient adult to know how to use a welding torch, a cold chisel, a metalworking lathe, a rivet gun, an auger, a post-hole digger, a chainsaw, a wood chipper, a router, and a hydraulic lift.

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:11 am 45. Larry:

John clearly hasn’t read Heinlein. He would have told you, John, that women and cats are related. If you’ve ever watched a cat caught in a sunbeam, then the back rubs make sense. I can’t believe the lovely Dr H hasn’t explained that, so you must not be listening.

I first read that list when I was probably 15 or 18. I’ve always thought it was a good one and have managed to do most. I watched a hog-butchering, haven’t set a bone, and can conn a ship. I hope not to have to do the other two soon.

I’d add that adults should be able to accept the consequences of their decisions. I learned this many years ago from dealing with doctors who were treating my son for leukemia. Decisions were required. My wife and I talked each one over and decided. The only ground rule was that our decision was our best work, and we weren’t allowed to second guess.

That’s all for now.

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:16 am 46. Dick Margulis:

A lot of the suggestions so far are covered by the admonition, “Be a mensch.”

I’d add this: Understand how to work toward consensus in a group of people with diverse views and life experiences. This goes beyond knowing how to love and remain civil toward those you disagree with. It is the essential skill needed for participating in a jury, but it is equally valuable at a public hearing or a neighborhood association meeting.

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:45 am 47. aloysius:

I think that one of the greatest challenges that competent people face is dealing with people who disdain competence. It seems a Catch-22. Competent people, by definition, shouldn’t have any problem with this but it is a huge issue. Competent people are being driven out of our leading enterpises at alarming rates in order to make room for compliant people of no particular accomplishment or motivation.

Your thoughts?

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:51 am 48. Earl Blevins:

Kill and clean a chicken, fish or small mammal. If you eat them you really should know how they got to your plate.

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:55 am 49. Achillea:

And please, read what you right for grammar, punctuation and spelling BEFORE you post your ignorance for all the world to see.

Heh.

Jun 26, 2007 - 12:00 pm 50. David:

Balance a checkbook and change a tire.

Indeed when we got a flat in the middle of Wisconsin, my two teenage daughters change the tire while I watch crop dusters (those guys are nuts).

Jun 26, 2007 - 12:03 pm 51. luke:

Adults should be able to smoke cannabis recreationally.

Jun 26, 2007 - 12:07 pm 52. Fmr SSG:

How to understand base finance: banking, leases, sales contracts, warranties, interest rates

How to enjoy the little things like good coffee, fresh air, cookies

Think logically, love illogically

Jun 26, 2007 - 12:52 pm 53. jayster:

All adults should read everything Heinlen has ever written. It should be the law.

Jun 26, 2007 - 1:32 pm 54. Chuck Hardin:

pch1013:

Your example tools are mostly wrong to include in such a list; one is very unlikely to have to use a rivet gun, auger, cold chisel, etc., in the ordinary course of life without having some time to practice and learn the necessary skills. Nor is there a lot of pending legislation intended to control their use and distribution. Handguns are the opposite in both respects. They are the frequent subject of proposed legislation, and if you need to use one, you need to know how to use it RIGHT NOW.

I do think that the ability to hammer a nail, drill a hole, saw a plank, and other such basics are a good idea to know, and one might plausibly need to know them on the spot and without much time to practice. A surprising number of people do not know them.

Jun 26, 2007 - 1:51 pm 55. M:

As for wiping off the seat, women who “hover” in public restrooms should know how to do that as well.

Jun 26, 2007 - 1:54 pm 56. Transplanted Lawyer:

An adult should be able to:

Read a map and navigate using compass points and not landmarks.

Tell time.

Make change when handling money.

Use a telephone, a screwdriver, and a can opener.

Groom themselves and otherwise at least minimally maintain their own personal hygiene.

Jun 26, 2007 - 1:57 pm 57. katherine.:

know how to deliver a baby

Jun 26, 2007 - 2:11 pm 58. Dougger:

In addition to the many good suggestions:

Make your guests comfortable.

Sharpen and use a knife.

Start a fire.

Jun 26, 2007 - 2:43 pm 59. Chuck Hardin:

As my reply to the execrable pch1013 suggests, I’m more interested in figuring out the characteristics of a skill an adult should be able to do than in compiling a laundry list of such skills. The first is a philosophical exercise, and if done properly can inform us of our motives in requiring certain things of an adult. The second, as I’ve seen in far too many comments today, can easily descend into a schoolmarmish lecture about what all the rest of us should know. I’d bet not one of those would-be improvers of humanity is incapable of doing anything they themselves listed. They are being smug. I invite them, and you and me, to be more introspective and insightful.

I can see four reasons to expect an adult to be able to do something on the spot, without significant ramp-up time:

1. The skill is useful for participation in daily life as an adult. This one is obvious. Driving, emailing, writing, speaking, all fall into this category.

2. The skill must be exercised at once and with reasonable skill to be useful in some fairly common case. This is typical of various emergency skills, like CPR and the use of a handgun. If you can’t do the Heimlich maneuver as soon as the guy starts choking, you don’t have time to dig up a book and practice with a partner.

3. The skill or knowledge is a prerequisite for informed discussion about some prominent issue of the day. Science education certainly belongs in this category. A general knowledge of firearms probably does as well; it would be nice if the next person to suggest that “assault rifles” fire more powerful ammunition than deer rifles were to be laughed off the dais.

4. It violates the principle of least surprise not to have a skill or area of knowledge. You may not need to know anything about Shakespeare in order to get along, but you’ll have some really awkward conversations if everyone else does and expects you to as well. This is strongly dependent on one’s surroundings — one group’s Shakespeare is another group’s Pete Wentz — but I’d want my children not to feel out of place in an educated and civilized milieu, and I don’t really care how they relate to fans of Fall Out Boy.

Any reactions to these criteria? What have I left out? What shouldn’t I have put in?

Jun 26, 2007 - 2:49 pm 60. D. Reid:

“been involved in a plane crash and had to swim to safety”

Helen, there has never been a domestic commercial flight in the US that has been forced to attempt a water landing.

BTW be honest: has Glenn ever given you a 2 hour back rub and then looking at his hands say “I’ll never wash these hands ever again”?

Jun 26, 2007 - 2:57 pm 61. Phil W:

Know what you don’t know.. and be frank in admitting when you don’t know.

I hate it when people make up answers because they think they will look bad, or just have a compulsion to fill voids with words.

Jun 26, 2007 - 3:20 pm 62. Susan Balée:

These are all good, interesting suggestions. I, too, immediately thought of “swimming,” then Dr. H. had it in her list. Far too many people don’t know how.

On another level, adults should realize that everything they do and everything they don’t do has a consequence (usually several). Being able to accept whatever consequences ensue from one’s actions (or lack thereof) is fundamental to happiness in life. That and being able to love other people and yourself.

Jun 26, 2007 - 3:21 pm 63. Meade:

By the time a person becomes an adult in modern society, he or she should be able to:

Comfort a child

Save and invest money

Make a sincere apology

Grow something edible

Tell the truth

Use humor as a psychological defense mechanism

Jun 26, 2007 - 3:32 pm 64. Obi's Sister:

Why are teenagers hell-bent on making you hate them?

Jun 26, 2007 - 4:49 pm 65. Sadcaseof Humour:

An adolt shud be caybable of riting a compleete sentense widout any speling mistaykes.

Jun 26, 2007 - 5:51 pm 66. The Monster:

I agree completely with the sentiment…

“And please, read what you right for grammar, punctuation and spelling BEFORE you post your ignorance for all the world to see.”

The problem with automated spell checkers is that they can’t tell that ‘right’ is the wrong spelling for ‘write’. Having a second pair of human eyeballs might help overcome any problems one has with seeing what he MEANT to type instead of what his fingers actually did.

Watt wood-eyed dew width aught mine ice bell Czech her?

Jun 26, 2007 - 6:23 pm 67. Wacky Hermit:

I second (or third, as the case may be) the basic math skills, cooking skills, and sewing skills. Especially the math skills which are my area of expertise.

My mom made a chart of tasks we had to learn how to do by the time we were 18. All 7 of us (girls and boys) would get a star on the chart when we mastered the skill. The list included things like doing laundry, specific cooking skills like boiling pasta or baking cookies, sewing on buttons, and making a budget. I wish I had a copy of that chart now. My 9 year old can bake cookies and my 7 year old makes his own quesadillas and grilled cheese, but they still have a lot to learn.

My parents were also very adamant that in addition to a career, everyone should have a saleable technical skill for a backup career. So for example one of my sisters majored in Elementary Ed but also learned secretarial skills, and she became a secretary when she had kids and couldn’t work full time. We also had to learn a musical instrument and learn how to camp in the wilderness.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:02 pm 68. Webutante:

Great post, Helen. With you on all five and would only add,

Know how to bookmark a webpage on your computer.

Know the true meaning of dry wine.

Take a fish hook out of someone and give CPR and other first aid.

And, for us southern women, write a great thank you note.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:54 pm 69. Deborah:

Re: give a back rub.
John wanted to know “what it is with women and back rubs?” or something like that.
It’s simple: Women love back rubs because it is a form of intimacy that is not intercourse.

Jun 26, 2007 - 7:55 pm 70. Tian:

I think every adult should be able to live within their means. Balancing a checkbook is only part of that.

Jun 26, 2007 - 11:33 pm 71. JAFAC:

welding torch, a cold chisel, a metalworking lathe, a rivet gun, an auger, a post-hole digger, a chainsaw, a wood chipper, a router, and a hydraulic lift.

Why would you not want to learn how to use these tools?

Jun 27, 2007 - 12:17 am 72. Ken Hahn:

Two things I believe any adult should be able to do.

Answer a question. “I don’t know” and “I choose not to answer” are acceptable. Long rambling evasions or changing the subject aren’t.

Take responsibility. If it’s your fault, admit it.

Jun 27, 2007 - 12:19 am 73. george:

If you have to find out from Dr. Helen you’re not an adult.

Jun 27, 2007 - 5:56 am 74. Patrick Carroll:

Robert Heinlein nails it:

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

Jun 27, 2007 - 6:20 am 75. Henry:

Actually I think an adult should be able to refrain from giving people unsolicited advice.

(Stick shift. For pete’s sake. Next column we’ll be told we need to know how to turn a starter crank. An adult should know how to stay out of silly situations, or how to get out of them without needing to know silly things.)

Jun 27, 2007 - 6:39 am 76. Basil:

While most respondents understood the question, a couple didn’t. One wrote:

“An adult (defined as over 21) should be do anything they wish, provided they follow the following rule without exception:

An[d] harm none!”

Another:

“Adults should be able to smoke cannabis recreationally.”

I think all adults should be able to understand the difference between “able” and “allowed.”

Snark aside, there have been lots of good postings. But I don’t see much thought given to what we should “know.” I realize that’s a slightly different question, but it can relate to this discussion in terms of people being able to converse and discourse on essential things. Such as:

Adult (Americans, and would-be Americans) should be able to quote the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence.

Adults should be able to name the sitting Vice-President of the US, and at least some of the members of the Supreme Court of the United States.

Adults should be able to answer a simple question like “In what century was the Civil War fought?”

And so forth.

Jun 27, 2007 - 6:52 am 77. Meade:

Basil’s comment inspires me to add one more:

An adult should be able to show respect for
the Laws of Nature and gratitude to Nature’s God.

Jun 27, 2007 - 7:42 am 78. Bill the Rocket Scientist:

Ask any 10 people you meet and you will get 10 different lists of “basic skills” that any human, in THEIR humble opinion, ought to be have mastered. It will invariably include at least one skill that YOU have not mastered, and often is a source of disagreement. Case in point: I once served on a jury in which the buyer of a home sued the seller for several reasons, one of which was the fact that the home was older and wired with an 80-Ampere electrical service. The seller had told the buyer that the home was wired for 100 Amps, which the buyer accepted. The buyer was a musician and had little practical knowledge of home wiring. One of my fellow jurors opined that “Anybody knows what a 100-Amp Service is, and if the guy was too stupid to know, he’s too stupid to collect any damages.” Now this prompted me to speak up. My Brother-In-Law is a CPA and makes 3 times what I make in a year, plus he has made some pretty good stock investments and is very, very, very well off. But he doesn’t know Amperes from third base. He can tell you the precise amortization schedule for just about anything, but I wouldn’t trust him with electricity. The point is, you can be very smart and very rich, but there is still SOMETHING, some arcane bit of human knowledge, about which you are a complete and utter idiot. Like me and the stock market. I’m the guy for whom mutual funds were invented. The same goes for Heinlein’s list (or ANY list) of “what a human ought to be able to do.” I can’t change a diaper to save my soul, which is one of the reasons I never had kids.

Jun 27, 2007 - 8:24 am 79. RC:

What should an adult be able to do:

Act and live in accordance with the principles of basic virtue. These include honesty, kindness, helpfulness, and courtesy, among others.

The rest of life follows from this.

Were I to highlight one specific issue out of this requirement for adulthood, it would be this:

Pleasantly and freely give to others and receive from others acts of courtesy without looking for or reading into such acts an ulterior motive.

Jun 27, 2007 - 9:08 am 80. wally:

read and write and speak english,
do math,
basic cooking,
basic cleaning,
boxing,
hunting,
fishing,
veggie gardening,
start a fire without matches,
jog a mile in under 9 minutes,
vote republican ,
sing our national anthem,
say the US of A pledge of allegience
play a musical instrument.

Jun 27, 2007 - 9:59 am 81. Econ-Scott:

– Dr. Helen:

Talk with these guys & gals. They Probably have some interesting ideas on “Things you need to know how to do”.

They’re in Mormon Country and part of supplying “The Religious” with their requisite one to two years of “supplies” for Doomsday/Tribulation Mormon Version, (they should know in the last 150 years they’ve been chased around a bit)

They also have a nice “Guns to Grab” Section helpful to CPA’s, Constitutional Scholars and assorted City Slickers.

http://www.alpinesurvival.com/

By sure to peruse the Pre-fab Nuclear Bomb shelter section, you never know … could come in handy there in Nashville.

Bomb Nashville and they’ve destroyed the country soul and fighting spirit capital of the U.S.

Jun 27, 2007 - 10:27 am 82. Lord Whorfin:

Another Heinlein moment:

Optimistic pessimist

“Plan for the worst, and hope for the best”

Jun 27, 2007 - 10:40 am 83. Econ-Scott:

– addenda, or you could always use it as an underground wine cellar and place to store your beer making equipment in the mean time.

Jun 27, 2007 - 10:43 am 84. President Friedman:

I’d add a decent understanding of business concepts, including:

- Different types of business entities (sole proprietorships, LLCs, S-Corps, C-Corps, Partnerships, etc…)

- A thorough understanding of the concept of abritrage (not just as it relates to financial intruments, but as it relates to markets).

- A basic understanding of the stock market. Particularly, an understanding of price-to-earnings ratios.

- The technical differences between wage labor and contracted labor.

- The difference between, revenue, gross profit, and net profit.

- How to work with percentages.

- Comprehension of the tax advantages of small (or large) business ownership.

- The difference between ‘above the line’ and ‘below the line’ tax deductions.

- Basic understanding of the concept of asset depreciation.

- Basic negotiation skills.

- The 80/20 rule.

- Basic understanding of W. E. Demmings concepts of quality control (you can ignore everything else he said, but don’t ignore this)

Jun 27, 2007 - 12:07 pm 85. SteveA:

Know the international phonetic alphabet, aka the “pilot’s alphabet”: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc.

If we could assume that everyone we talked to knew it, we wouldn’t have to make up phonetics on the spot: “B as in boy …”

Jun 27, 2007 - 4:06 pm 86. SWBarns:

1) Perform the Heimlick manuver.

2) Perform CPR.

3) Apply direct pressure to a wound to stop bleeding.

4) Keep right except to pass on the highway.

You can learn all of these in an afternoon.

Jun 27, 2007 - 5:22 pm 87. JRB:

H’mmm. Interesting list. My additions:
1. Know how to dial 9-1-1. You’d be surprised how many people panic during an emergency and say that can’t remember the number for 9-1-1.
2. Know when to dial 9-1-1, i.e., know your own limits and know when it is time to call the pros for help. You can save a precious life that way.

Jun 27, 2007 - 6:38 pm 88. McKie:

I live in Juneau, Alaska so that influences my list. As my two daughters grew up, some of the basic skills I tried to be sure they mastered include how to:
- Be comfortable in the woods, Use a topo map and compass, Make a fire.
- Cast a fly, Clean a fish, Behave around bears, Be safe, comfortable, and accurate with firearms.
- Understand how not to get caught by tides, Run an outboard, sail a boat, Read the weather, set an anchor.
- Drive a stick-shift, check your oil, change a tire, Control a skid, Get your car unstuck from the snow
- Use basic hand and power tools
- Bring proper skepticism to advertising, media, and politics.
Neither of my daughters would be described as tom-boys (if that’s still an acceptable phrase) and my younger daughter now lives and works in Manhattan, where there is limited need for some of these skill sets. I believe, however, that the confidence they gained is useful every day of their lives.

Jun 27, 2007 - 10:50 pm 89. Gamekeeper:

This is such a great ideaa, I do hope you are going to do this column weekly!

Jun 28, 2007 - 11:38 am 90. Helen Smith:

Thanks to all for such terrific suggestions on what adults should be able to do. I have learned a lot and realize there are some skills I need to brush up on. I have gotten so many questions and comments from you and hope to get to answer some of them in upcoming columns. I appreciate your participation and look forward to learning more from you. Keep the comments and questions flowing, they are fascinating.

Jun 29, 2007 - 5:41 am 91. TMink:

I need to put in a few words concerning those of us who cannot spell. There are varying forms of dyslexia, some of us are unable to read, and some of us read well but are unable to proof read. Our minds do not transpose letters, but they read by word shapes. It is interesting to listen to us read aloud because we often read what a sentence looks like, rather than how it is written.

It is humbling for me to have my 4 year olds correct me when I read them a story that they have memorized and I get a word wrong. Bear in mind that this is a children’s book I am reading, so it is certainly not technically challenging!

It is just that the reading center of my brain has a glitch. Same with spelling. It used to be sad to me, now it is just funny. But there is no realtionship between reading, spelling and intelligence. In fact, IQ tests do not involve reading at all. So while I know that it can be irritating (especially to the more brittle obsessives of the world) to read poor spelling, and it certainly can be embarassing for those of us with the problem, poor spelling should not be confused with poor thinking. It is just another little brain problem. Everyone has them, you too, but some people have little brain dysfunctions that are not noticeable to others.

Just my two letters.

Trey

Jun 29, 2007 - 7:07 am 92. Theresa:

[watch the all-caps please -ed.];

How about;

Catch a fish and

make a conscious decision to reproduce.

Unconscious reproduction is also for insects.

Jun 29, 2007 - 1:01 pm 93. Tom Crozier:

Hello Helen, it’s Tomcal:

My recent trip to Nicaragua was neccesitated by the fact that a bunch of money I had vouched for at a well known international foundation for the construction of a computer lab at a school for street children was being being held hostage by some people who felt that they were more important, by virtue of their position in Nicaraguan society, than I was. They basically told me to go to hell when I demanded that they release the funds to buy the computers.

I honestly still don’t know their motivations for holding up the show, but I had a responsibility to the foundation here in the U.S. to see that the lab was built.

After negociating politely, starting last Tuesday, the 19th, I realized by Thursday the 21st that I was getting nowhere, so I basically called in a psychological nuclear airstrike, which destroyed the reputation of a highly respected Dr. in that part of the world. Monday night, while crying and saying we could have worked it out without my destroying his reputation internationally, he signed over the money, and on Tuesday I went and got the equipment for the school.

So I accomplished my goal and left the country before I could be assasinated. But now I feel guilty, like I didn’t have to use such overwhelming force and destroy a prominent doctor’s reputation to get the job done.

Should I feel guilty? Or should I just feel satisfied that the kids have their computer lab?

Tom

Jun 29, 2007 - 8:38 pm 94. Dick Margulis:

Dear Nuclear Airstrike…

You have no complaint

You are what your are and you ain’t what you ain’t

So listen up Buster, and listen up good

Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Signed Dear Abby

[lyric by John Prine--adapted to the circumstance]

Jun 30, 2007 - 1:25 pm 95. br549:

You applied necessary pressure, tomcal. Maybe there are more and different ways to do it. And anyone can poke holes in someone else’s ideas or ways of doing things. The world is full of Monday morning quarterbacks.
Ask ANY President.
But it sounds to me like someone doesn’t want the people in his country to find their way out of the dark.

Jul 1, 2007 - 4:18 am 96. Tom Crozier:

br459:

Yes, and that is the only logical reason I can come up with.

The dirty little secret of foreign aid is that the power elite of third world countries are extremely predjudiced against the lower classes, and the last thing they want is for some street kid to learn enough to go into competition with them; or worse, to change the societal status-quo…

Jul 1, 2007 - 8:35 pm 97. Tom Crozier:

Dick Margulis:

Wisely you speak…

Jul 1, 2007 - 8:38 pm 98. Pajamas Media » Ask Dr. Helen: Preparing for Disaster: Prudent or Paranoid?:

[...] been over a year that I have been writing this column and I happened to take a look recently at the first piece I wrote, entitled “What Kinds of Things Should an Adult Be Able to Do?” The article and your [...]

Aug 5, 2008 - 12:16 am

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