Sleazy Men Should Be Publicly Shamed
Christie Brinkley was wise to air lying, cheating Peter Cook's misdeeds in public — more women should do so.
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I’m not one to follow news about celebrities, but certain court cases, I think, capture social currents bubbling just under the surface that affect those of us outside of Hollywood-land.
Case in point is the Brinkley-Cook divorce. The forty-nine-year-old Peter Cook has admitted to being a porn “addict” and to having an affair with an eighteen-year-old girl. Christie Brinkley has rightfully been awarded custody in a case that has put Cook in the proverbial stocks of cable news. I was heartened to hear the court-appointed psychiatrist blame Cook, saying he “destroyed his family.”
This is a rare statement among our mental health professionals, who seem to adopt an oath of relativism. There is no pointing of fingers. Rather, the focus is directed to the problems in the relationship, to determine why he — or, but more rarely, she — strays.
Brinkley had to take things into her own hands — much easier when one holds a fortune — and use our courts and national media to humiliate the lying, cheating scoundrel. But once upon a time, the men in a woman’s life did it for her. A friend who grew up in rural Georgia comments that her father and the other men in their town would socially shun a man who was having an affair and stop doing business with him. At one time, male relatives served as screeners of potential mates for daughters and sisters who had their judgment clouded by the charms of a Lothario or a Ted Bundy.
The sexual revolution changed all that, with women presumably able to take care of themselves and enjoy the same sexual “freedoms” men did. This of course gave the Lotharios carte blanche to abuse and use women.
Brinkley has been roundly condemned for bringing her child custody case into the public spotlight. Such public exposure, whether through national media or talk among one’s social network, is considered a display of poor manners and weakness, an admission that she has been harmed by the man she let wheedle and lie his way into her heart. “Get on with your life!” is the message. “We don’t want to hear about what he did.” And on he goes to ask his next unsuspecting victim for a date.
In fact, friends and counselors are likely to ask such a woman to look at her role: What did she do to get into the situation? This is what Norman Sheresky, Cook’s attorney, implied when he told the court, “For goodness sake: She’s on her fourth husband.” Well, yes, fourth husband — it is a bit harder to find a good man these days.
The focus is often aimed at the woman for attracting such a man by presumably sending out signals about her vulnerability. This is the stuff of advice books, with titles that diagnose “codependence” and encourage toughness, like Think Like a Guy: How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One, Date Like a Man, and Why Men Love Bitches. A shield of toughness will repel the next wolf and send him in search of easier prey, the advice goes. But this has a Wonder Woman quality about it; it’s a theory based on the assumption that the right attitude can act like a bracelet repelling bullets. Most harmful, though, is the message that remains out there hanging: it’s you, not him.
Thus is the wronged woman pressured to remain silent.
Mary Grabar earned her Ph.D. in English from the University of Georgia and teaches in the Atlanta area. She is a Pushcart Prize-nominated poet and published fiction writer. Visit her website and get on her mailing list at MaryGrabar.com. Mary blogs at the TheLiterateCitizen.com.
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121 Comments
1. Mary Jackson:I agree, mostly. We are told that the French are so very “civilised” about cheating husbands (and wives) with their “cinq a sept”. Well, if that’s civilisation you can keep it.
The only thing is, are the details accurate or are they exaggerated? I don’t mean this particular case, but in general. The British tabloids at least often get the wrong end of the stick about things.
Jul 15, 2008 - 2:56 am 2. HardHeadedWoman:No, she wasn’t. I’m sick to death of having the sleazy goings-on of the rich and famous shoved in my face. She is famous for posing in a bikini and marrying rich and/or famous men and I don’t know and don’t care who he is. It’s all part of the Oprahfication of America.
Jul 15, 2008 - 5:27 am 3. ddc:I’m all for public humiliation of cheaters. It warns furture husbands or wives as to just what kinds of people these are. Cook has serious issues, both with addiction to porn and fidelity. buyer beware.
On another point, rather unrealated to the Brinkley drama is the subject of prostitution, not specifically the profession as opinions of keeping it illegal or legalizing it is pointless and “it’s the oldest profession” blablabla is tiresome. However, as of today in the US it remains ILLEGAL. Yet it is the only vice under which the “buyer” is not prosecuted, unlike “buyers” of any other illegal “products.” The double standard is clear. It’s fine to purchase a sti-infected hooker off the street (she gets arrested as seller) but get caught with your little baggie of weed and get thrown in jail.
Jul 15, 2008 - 6:03 am 4. Smarty:This guy got to have sex with one of the hottest women alive (in the 80’s,), and now cheats on her with a delicious 18 year old babe.
His penis is a very lucky boy. But the rest of him must feel pretty bad right now. But I have a friend who had a wife and it turned out she was a tramp. He still paid thru his nose in the divorce. So why is this case so special?
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:20 am 5. Ten:PJM, please advise readers if this irrational, low-brow rubbish is par for your course. I’ll be happy to change my homepage if it is. You’ve really got to be kidding, right?
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:31 am 6. Clueless:The details of a crime should definitely be published. How else are we to learn - by our own experiences - or by the collective experiences of all of mankind? The protection of the identity/modus operandi of crime perpetrators is a mistake that society eventually pays for. I contend the same is true when the details of the crime go un-reported as well.
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:51 am 7. lovemelikeareptile:What an abusive, anti-male rant. Illogical, irrational, venomous bigotry against men.
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:54 am 8. Scott:I’m silk screening the t-shirts with the large, red ‘A’…
Jul 15, 2008 - 8:37 am 9. MarkD:I second the suggestion that liars and cheaters be publicly scorned. Would it be too much to ask that we apply the same standards to our politicians?
Jul 15, 2008 - 8:43 am 10. TalkinKamel:PJM, a lot of us had been coming here to get real news, the sort of news that the mainstream media wasn’t giving us.
We can get this sort of stuff from Oprah. Please, enough with the “She done him wrong/He done her wrong; Are women are sluts? Are men all beasts?” stories.
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:02 am 11. Gringo:At one time, male relatives served as screeners of potential mates for daughters and sisters who had their judgment clouded by the charms of a Lothario or a Ted Bundy.
Unfortunately, there were imperfections in the system. Y, the old maid sister of my grandmother’s second husband X, both of whom I knew well before my grandmother married X, was testimony to that imperfection.
After X’s wife died, he gravitated towards my widowed grandmother,which was not a surprise as they had known each other for 50 years.
X’s old maid sister Y was against the match. I later found out why from my grandmother: it was payback.
X and his brothers had driven away potential boyfriends/ suitors from their sister Y. Result: old maid schoolteacher sister Y.
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:06 am 12. charlie:4 husbands means the inability to maintain a healthy relationship. I believe Ms Brinkley’s issues are as serious if not more than Mr Cook’s. Mr. Cook chose not to bring Ms Brinkley’s problems into the public arena perhaps because of the impact it would have on the kids. Ms Brinkley’s motives are purely for revenge and the appearance that she is somehow the victim.
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:09 am 13. David:Egad, what is wrong with these responses? I didn’t read anything here Mary wrote to indicate that she is somehow bashing all men. While I might agree that publicizing the rich and famous is not truly “newsworthy,” the fact that some men believe that they can get away with this sort of “behavior” happens among all social strata, and that is the point of this. All too often in this country the rich get a pass.
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:28 am 14. Mary Grabar:Methinks that some of the gentlemen doth protest too much. I certainly did not paint all men as lying, conniving cheaters, and in fact praised those who protect women. (Thank you, David.) I also indicated that women do sometimes act in such despicable ways, though, statistically, much less frequently.
Jul 15, 2008 - 10:37 am 15. David Smith:When can we expect an article decrying the 5% to 10% of all kids who are born to married women who share no genetic code with their husband?
Jul 15, 2008 - 11:02 am 16. transcended:Out them all. Politicians, losers like Peter Cook, even the women if there are any as despicible as Peter Cook or an Elliot Spitzer. Public humiliation is a good wake-up call for the soul, or a showcase of one’s addiction that these selfish users need serious help.
2 million of 60-100million estate is worth it to be rid of such a scoundrel. He’ll blow through that on intranet porn in no time.
Jul 15, 2008 - 11:30 am 17. Elle:Brinkley could have had his deeeds exposed without clearly being the one to “out” the father of her chldren. I don’t believe that her children will thank her for that as she was clearly also embarrassing them.
Jul 15, 2008 - 11:44 am 18. cedarford:Four marriages does indicate that she has a relationship/choices problem. As Grabar points out this kind of significant bad judgement affects more than one area of a person’s life. I was interested in Brinkley’s whine that she paid for everything for 10 years. Nobody forced her to do that. Nor do I believe that she was “shocked,shocked” by his behavior, especially since he was apparently not being particularly careful to hide his tracks and had indulged inprevious similar behavior. It seems llikely that like many people she chose not to see anything that might have given the public lie to her “perfect life” in which she paid for everything.
What an abusive, anti-male rant. Illogical, irrational, venomous bigotry against men.
Pretty much, and women like Mary Grabar who crave the ability to publically punish and defame their mates better be G-D saints or they will soon find reciprocity in public sliming aimed at hurting them on every level - based on the old “payback” principal that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
Just thinking of my ex who I had an inimicable divorce with…..I had enough dirt on her family relationships and career to wreck her with parents, one sister, and end her professional career on beaches of fiduciary ethics and sabotage of co-workers she was actually proud of…Her illegal drug use, her cheating the IRS, when she lied to the two kids on important things….
If she had taken measures to destroy my reputation, the bitch would have dined on excrement sandwiches for long enough she would have begun to envy the good name of crack whores.
Women tempted to play the public revenge card best be wary.
And one good thing with Courts is that they inform both parties that the costs of a divorce will escalate to the stratosphere if they engage in mutual destruction, and many states have parties sign agreements that bar them from publicly sliming one another..it hurts the kids, ultimately benefits neither party, and can easily escalate into violence.
Jul 15, 2008 - 11:44 am 19. Javelin:Lets bring back the stocks and let them be displayed in public for days on end. What about shunning woman too?
Jul 15, 2008 - 12:20 pm 20. jvon:Ridiculous. Where are the people condemning Christie Brinkley for the string of ex-husbands she has left behind?
Also, what the hell, exactly, is a “porn addict”? Is a woman who buys lots of shoes a “shoe addict”? Does she need help also?
I’ll agree having an affair with an 18 year old girl is pretty sleazy, but it hardly belongs in the same category as a guy who looks at Internet porn on his computer. Presumably if she knew about it she didn’t have a problem with it — most women do not until a divorce proceeding starts and it becomes another tool to publically humiliate him with. I suspect if a husband brought up a woman’s use of a vibrator that would draw an immediate rebuke from the judge, but a guy looking at porn ends up in the news and we all congratulate ourselves on being better than him. Or at least more discreet.
Jul 15, 2008 - 12:48 pm 21. TEN_Indeed:Ten? In mundo optimum. Behold, the morally superior, cosmopolitan sophisticate!
Let’s see now. The lofty Ten has been so impressed with Mary Grabar’a earlier writings as to put a link to her on his or her homepage. Now Ten, in his or her highbrow narcissism–sniff, sniff, has been terminally offended by Mary’s one current Brinkley piece. Unawares, Ten demonstrates Gramsci’s lobotomizing successes.
Here’s an IDLE question that trotted, uninvited, through what’s left of my own, sigh, left-marinated mind. Many saw the victim in the Duke Lacrosse-team rape case as, er, loose, so that supposedly mitigated the “attack”. Proper Liberals (rightly) fulminated against that twisted thought assuming the young woman was truly a victim. So here’s the question. Keeping the importance of Brinkley’s wealth in mind, how many of those of a mind to side with the (poor black) rape victim against the players now see Brinkley’s four marriages as exculpation of the libertine, Cook?
This might be a clue. From the total numnber of Obamophiles deduct most of the putatively grounded (but obviously addled) Catholics and evangelicals and then deduct the benighted aged among us who still think the Democrat party resembles the party of Truman and Kennedy. (That party would be to the right of me-tooist Republicanism if plucked up and dropped into our political milieu.)
Incoming!
Jul 15, 2008 - 1:07 pm 22. Dane:I rarely watch television news, and one of the reasons is that I am just sick to death of them wasting my time reporting on the personal lives of celebrities. I really hope PJM isn’t getting into the Access Hollywood business.
Jul 15, 2008 - 1:24 pm 23. michaelyi:Why is it that only sleazy MEN should be publicly shamed? When the tabloid-obsessed women of the Anglosphere (1) give up their addiction to celebrity gossip and (2)accept that it’s ok for men who’ve been wronged to air the misdeeds of women without being publicly scorned, then I’ll consider Mary Grabar’s argument.
Until then, I’m stowing this column of Ms. Grabar’s in the already well-stuffed round file marked “female-favoring double standards.”
Jul 15, 2008 - 2:31 pm 24. Leslie:Amen!
Jul 15, 2008 - 2:49 pm 25. Stallywood:Simply put, a very anti male, female promoting double standard, one sided, biased article. A woman who has been married multiple times and is obviously deficient in the relationship skills department, is not held accountable. Even worse, is painted as the victim. Yet of course the male in the story, whose behaviour while not by any means perfect, faces unfairly the scorn of the writer. Also I will never support a woman who advocates for any, ANY reason, full custody of the children.
Jul 15, 2008 - 2:52 pm 26. kabud:Stally
by the way it is known fact that every 6th or even 5th child born in this world is a `bastard` even though mother never admitted
so who is sleazy here is a good question
Jul 15, 2008 - 3:54 pm 27. Sheila:Jvon asks “What the hell, exactly, is a “porn addict”?
I think spending $3000 a month on porn would qualify you as a porn addict.
It also makes a guy a poor choice for a husband and it probably won’t win him any Father of the Year awards either. Especially since his son was exposed to his computer pictures.
Hey, sorry but sex is just for adults! No kids allowed. I think we all agree on that.
Also, a 46 year old man sleeping with an 18 year old teenager, who is also his employee makes this guy a triple loser.
So the real question is why this guy went to divorce court in the first place. He should have spared his family the embarrassment and taken whatever Christie would give him in an out of court settlement.
Cheating is sleazy. Guys like him just need to stay single so they can pursue their desires unfettered and live an authentic life. Then NO ONE would care what they did.
Kabud,
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:06 pm 28. Me:Cheating is sleazy. Male or female. No need to ask such a stupid question.
The whole cult of entertainment star personalities feeds this garbage. People who stay in the Hollywood culture know what to expect. The fact that he is guilty does not make her innocent and the fact that she is guilty does not make him innocent.
However going public will only succeed in putting the most salacious parts of the story in the news. Whatever is shown will not be fair, balanced, reasonable, and probably it won’t even be accurate.
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:27 pm 29. kabud:Sheila:
i agree it is sleazy.
Still facts are: every 6th child is conceived in an act of cheating,
Jul 15, 2008 - 7:36 pm 30. coisty:face it.
Maybe next time she’ll choose a quiet responsible man who appreciates her instead of a bad boy who brings drama to her life. Yeah right…
Jul 15, 2008 - 8:08 pm 31. kabud:i would like to add also that every man and woman who ever been married knows about marital problems
since men have on average MORE intense sexual drive and are socially conditioned to ACT UPON IT
it often happens that women USE this more often the men as a leverage in `power` struggle or whatever you may call a marital conflicts
No man in a normal state of mind will ever choose PORN if there is a loved one near by and if the feeling is mutual
This is life. There is no argument here. yes, there are exceptions, of course, but they are rare as all exceptions and perversions are.
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:00 pm 32. transcended:“since men have on average MORE intense sexual drive and are socially conditioned to ACT UPON IT.”
There’s your problem right there.
Women also have an intense sex drive yet are conditioned NOT to act upon it, lest they be called “slut.”
“No man in a normal state of mind will ever choose PORN if there is a loved one near by and if the feeling is mutual.”
Excuse me for laughing but the porn industry is one of the biggest multi-billion dollar industries in the US. Internet porn, strip clubs, hookers, peepshows, magazines, etc. Someone’s paying for it and making millionaries of these vendors, ever hear of the Vegas Porn Convention Week? Dear Jesus. So by your assumption there must be a hellava lot of ABnormal men out there married to women who ain’t giving it up. I also suppose that a normal man would never look at an attractive woman passerby while in the presence of said loved-one?
Men will look. At the passerby and at porn. Why? Simply because it’s different. Oh, and they are conditioned to “ACT UPON IT,” so men must be excused since men of course have no free will to NOT ACT UPON IT.
Does that sound about right?
Jul 15, 2008 - 9:38 pm 33. kabud:>There’s your problem right there.
no it is not. it is the NATURE. Thats it. You should have study better in schools that you attended.
>Women also have an intense sex
some of them, just SOME - yes, but their drive is differently formated and there are BIOLOGICAL reasons for that. And social and cultural and historical. So all these reasons are so HUGE that dont’ even dream to change it.
Well, you can think of totalitarian methods descibed in Orwell’ “1984″,
but let me assure you: i and millions of Americans will get our guns that we own under The Constitution and we will confront those methods beyond any limits.
well, lets get back to the subject)))
Spectrum of MALE sexuality is not that diverse . Most of the men have very similar sexuality.
Women are VERY different from each other. I dont want to give yo figures, but i’ve seen , no i ‘ve experienced cases from constant unstoppable urge ant multiple orgasms to total frigidness with everything in between. Just get a book on it, read something or talk to people.
Nonetheless i suspect you know it, but you are not an honest person. Thats all.
By the way, slut or whore or whatever is it applies in EXACTLY the same way to both sexes. Dont pretend you dont know it.
Porn is successful because of the BIG problem in this society. problems in destruction of FAMILY VALUES. it is a result of comunist subversion, active mesures that are apllied to American society on the unprecedented scale in the last 70 years.
And because of underage kids, also subverted by the above, as well. like you dont know it??. More i read what you posted- less respect i feel towards you.
And what do you mena LOOKS AT THE WOMAN?
yes they look. So what? Nothing wrong with this unless you yourself feel that you are UNATRACTIVE AND FAT and then - well you will not like OTHER BEAUTIFUL GALS , of course!!!
Just stop overeating , girl.
Well, even with porn and erotics: there are those who look and there are those like the article describes. there is a big difference.
No, you are either not honest to yourself or you never bothered to understand human heart.
Women are very egocentric, it is natural, they HAVE to be like that because they bare children.
It may be the reason why you dont get it. And you dont, so may be you mean right but you get it all screwd up and perversed in you head.
::)
Jul 15, 2008 - 10:34 pm 34. Michaelyi:no offence, for all i know ypu may be a realy nice girl) or boy, who knows)))
“Excuse me for laughing,” giggled Transcended, “but the porn industry is one of the biggest multi-billion dollar industries in the US.” Many man-bashers habitually equate ‘porn’ solely with “strip clubs, hookers, peepshows” as Transcended did. But why should we passively accept a definition of porn shaped by women as a shaming ploy to use against men?
What frosts so many women about Transcended’s “strip clubs, hookers, peepshows” is that indulging in such things might make their man esteem her a bit less than he otherwise might. Consider this, though: When a woman greedily devours a so-called romance novel, watches a soap opera, gets a fix of gossip about that celebrity bachelor from any of a multitude of ‘women’s interest’ magazines, or soothes herself with the smooth words of a professional sensitive new-age guy on one of several TV interview shows, afterwards she usually esteems her man a bit less than she otherwise might.
Women have their own favorite forms of porn in which they frequently indulge themselves and the much larger size of the porn-for-women industry than its for-men counterpart is an open secret. Just look around, the style of porn women prefer is sold in supermarkets, at Wal-Mart, in mainstream bookstores (even Christian bookstores!), openly displayed for circulation in public libraries, broadcast over open airwaves during television’s family hours, shown on the movie theater’s big screen, and displayed out front for rental at the neighborhood video store. (Feminists call that “equality” and non-feminist women call it “normal.”)
When a woman (or her frontman) becomes indignant about porn, but only exclusively about the sort men prefer, I often laugh as I call her on her sexist female double standards. (Sending a man on a guilt trip is difficult when he refuses to take on the burden of unearned guilt that some woman is trying to dump on him.)
Oh, and when Kabud pointed out (in one of several insightful comments Kabud made here), “No man in a normal state of mind will ever choose PORN if there is a loved one near by and if the feeling is mutual,” Kabud is recognizing the fact that there are a hellava lot of NORMAL men out there married to women who aren’t giving it up. Another example of Kabud’s wisdom is his response to Transcended’s remark that, even if she’s present, her man “will look” at an attractive woman passerby. Unashamedly Kabud replied, “Yes they look. So what? Nothing wrong with this.” All very true but that this comes as a shocking revelation for so many women (and the many, many men women have guilt-tripped) only demonstrates how far from ground truth our culture has been pushed in the process of our society becoming feminized and dominated by female class interests.
Social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn also rejects the basis of Transcended’s barely-disguised finger-waggling at men. She came to a similar conclusion as Kabud’s and asks women to question “the popular assumption that all the trouble starts because ‘men have roving eyes.’ A better understanding,” she writes in her book For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men, “is that there are roving women — and men can’t not notice their existence!” I recommend Ms. Feldhahn’s book to Transcended and anyone who subscribes to the “Men are pigs!” dogma. It could save their marriage (unless it’s already their fourth.)
Jul 16, 2008 - 2:30 am 35. transcended:Both Kabud and Mich extremely funny! Noone equated men to dogs but you both. You yourself suggest that men are conditioned to act upon their impulses, not I. I merely stated the apparent success of the sex trade (porn and the like) as part of the overall desire of men to want all women, not just the one they have. No where did I assume, accuse or reprimand. You both do it to yourselves simply because you’re both men and you are more aware of what men do. No where have I made this a personal attack on this commenter yet both you have. Tsk tsk.
And what is all the irrational fear of this supposed female dominated world? Excuse me but I for one do not see a female president, nor a female majority in the senate, congress, law enforcement, military institutions, finance, judicial or any other male dominated federal institutions.
If you feel so threatened by women then take issue with your supreme court judges, who obviously may have misread or misinterpreted the Bill of Rights and mistakenly granted some of those rights to another gender, not me. Obviously there are good men, intelligent men in these fields who feel and see issues of gender quite differently than either of you.
Jul 16, 2008 - 7:40 am 36. HeatherRadish:I am entertained that Michaelyi finds Christian romance novels and “Barely Legal Up the Butt 47″ morally equivalent.
Jul 16, 2008 - 8:31 am 37. Evil Pundit:Romance novels and daytime soaps are porn for women.
Jul 16, 2008 - 9:49 am 38. lovemelikeareptile:Great to see the male-bashing Mary Grabar deservedly ripped for her anti-male bogotry. Men– finally– are tired of the mindless abuse.
Ms Grabar– like most bigots– is clueless, and hence ,shameless. Her respone above is priceless– she bashes men in the very act of claiming she isn’t basing men ! As we learn that she also favors outing female bad actors—
but women act in despicable ways ” much less frequently”…. !!!!!!
so most of the public shaming will be of men,
who act so despicably much more often than women…
and of course to label men “despicable”, we will only hear the woman’s version which will be received as ABSOLUTE TRUTH
so the sisterhood can be warned about all the horrible men out there.
Ms Grabar’s assumptions and assertions are those of an anti-male bigot—- they demonize and dehumanize men ( misandric) and assert the innate superiority of women and the primacy of their wants and needs (gynocentric).
Jul 16, 2008 - 9:50 am 39. kabud:Michaelyi))) of course!
transcended: you see, people are different. Women are not in general capable of the same level of intellectual strength as men are. But women have intuition that men dont, in general
Your argumentation is a vivid prove. Dont get frustrated, try to lose weight and look nice.
God created you for that. be proud.
we must realize something:
let me call it `feminazism`. I use this term for generalization, i am myself a devoted feminist in a proper way.
Our society is under attack for a long period of time. I know it since i came from the enemy side, from the soviet union. I know it because i was educated there and had exposure to highest society ranks.
Their goal was to destroy american society religious and family values.
it is no joke at all. Multiple think tanks worked on the elements of strategy to achieve it.
My grandfather got a special education in it, but his natural decency never allowed him to partake in it and he just became a professor in economics. But he told me stories.
I never thought about it seriously then. until i came here and learned saw the real practical side of the shit.
It is something americans never fully comprehend.
Imagine that there are tens of thousands, no hundred of thousands of social scientists working in hundreds think tanks creating methods to destroy your morale, your health
And also there are tens of thousands of agents here in USA, disguised as journalists, talking heads on TV, including FOX!!!!! ABC!!!!! Everywhere.
Imagine that drug trafficking here is backed by SOVIET GOVERNMENT EVEN TODAY, Today more then EVER!
So this battle of sexes is not a normal event AT ALL.
Women and men are different by nature.
Patriarchic element is a natural thing.
In the ideal world
Woman should NEVER go to the battlefield because if they do- nation will lose its ability to have A NEW GENERATION
Men MUST be warriors, every single one of them.
Well, there are exeptions of course, but they dont count.
If society is not functioning like i briefly described above:
it WILL DIE.
Soviets designed this shit for ya people.
You are at war.
You are marked for extermination.
I am serious.
This issue that we discuss here- is just an element in a plan to destroy us.
Jul 16, 2008 - 10:22 am 40. Darrell:All people are capable of being lying, sleazy pigs. Judging by the author’s bitterness, it would seem that she has been burned by one, or more, of the male variety.
I sympathize with her. Still, she needs to grow up and stop assuming that because the people who’ve cheated her sexually are males, they must make up a disproportionate number of the lying, sleazy pigs in the world. This is a childish, inaccurate view of the world.
Jul 16, 2008 - 10:23 am 41. Rebecca:Haha! Another man, after being reminded of the statistic that men are more likely than women to cheat, comes back with the pithy reply, “You must be fat.”
And you, kabud, must be 15 years old to come up with a zinger like that one.
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:21 am 42. kabud:Rebecca:
you intellectual ability just showed itself :
cheating requires 2 people man cheats his wife with another woman
so the other woman cheats another man.
But the real question here is you looks of course))) and you know it and we all know it.
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:30 am 43. lovemelikeareptile:ADDENDUM– I clicked on a few links to MS Grabar’s blog and some of her writings.
It seems that Ms Grabar is a “conservative” woman, highly critical of feminism, and hence, one might assume, of misandry.
But, typically, “conservative” women differ from their feminist sisters only in methodology. Both monmaniacally pursue the same goal— the self-interest of women.They just differ radically on what that self-interest is and how it is to be achieved. Neither group cares much for men and boys, whose needs and interests are always secondary , if not irrelevant… although ‘conservative women” do adopt the pose of concern for men or for “fairness” — but only when such concerns further female self-interest.
Here, Ms Grabars stereotypes men as cads and abusers, miscreants all-too-likely to take advantage of the saintly, veracious, altruistic, vulnerable female. Women must be protected from men by public shaming of them– to deter future cads and to inform the girls who they extant cads are… This public shaming is based on the innate “WOMEN TELL THE TRUTH” cipher found in every female brain, so that any other viewpoints are to be ignored. Its whatever SHE SAID….. that counts.
Fine, if men get the media platform to trumpet the strumpet-like behavior of their conniving bitch wife, drag her name through the mud, and warn other unsuspecting men of what an overweight scumbag she is…..
but MS Grabars doesn’t see that happening.. as women are so superior to men and rarely engage in despicable behavior….
so all we need is women to go on TV and slime their husbands, boyfriends or whatever, have it published as fact, with no rejoinder needed, as women always tell the truth and men can be presumed to be scum. If you think, like Ms Grabars, that most men are miscreants if accused and thus most women are turth-relling victims of loutish men, thats fine. But if you believe thats sexist nonsense, so is her public shaming of men method of informing the sistas.
I must say, however that Ms Graber’s Blog is… compelling, to say the least…
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:32 am 44. Transcended:Again,
“Patriarchic element is a natural thing.
In the ideal world
Woman should NEVER go to the battlefield because if they do- nation will lose its ability to have A NEW GENERATION
Men MUST be warriors, every single one of them.
Well, there are exeptions of course, but they dont count.
If society is not functioning like i briefly described above:
it WILL DIE.
Soviets designed this shit for ya people.
You are at war.
You are marked for extermination.
I am serious. ”
Oh brother. These internets surely are full of crackpots.
Marked for extinction am I? Well noone excapes the graveyard, least of all doomsday hopefulls such as yourself. Of that you can be assured. Sadly for us you’ve already missed the Hale Bop departures.
YOU being serious does not at all require anyone reading what you’ve opined here to TAKE you seriously sorry to disappoint you. Wrap yourself around that idea while you are at it. And while you’re at that I hope you won’t mind if I post your world prediction on “Hilarity Found On The Internet.”
Meanwhile thanks for the amusement
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:34 am 45. Pro-Male:Cedarford and Michael are right. This article is pure, bigoted, male-hating drivel and has no plave on PJM.
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:48 am 46. Pro-Male:Incidentally, it’s interesting that the title of the article is “Sleazy Men Should Be Publicly Shamed” rather than “Sleazy Mates (Male or Female) Should Be Publicly Shamed”.
Not that that’s any less insane. Do we really want to return to Puritanism (not to mention invite the government or media into everyone’s bedroom)?
Mary’s mate (if male) should leave her.
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:51 am 47. Pro-Male:women act in despicable ways ” much less frequently”
That’s mathematically impossible.
Jul 16, 2008 - 11:55 am 48. Transcended:The sad fact (that being the inception of a feminism movement) remains. If necessity is the mother of all invention, then it stands to reason that there was a need for the feminist movement. Just as there was a need for a civil rights movement otherwise this nation would still be stuck in the 9th century.
Some men it seems, and a very small minority at that thankfully, resent change, any change. It’s why they will never either vote for a woman president or a candidate “of colour” regardless of qualification. I do suppose it is just as well these particular men find themselves in the position of minority. I can’t help but think there might be some validity to another saying about not fully understanding the lives of one unless you’ve walked in their shoes.
Since I doubt very much that women’s and civil rights will ever be overturned or watered down, my suggestion would be to this new minority is to learn something whilst enjoying the walk.
Jul 16, 2008 - 12:06 pm 49. kabud:lovemelikeareptile:
you don’t know how right you are. I love fair sex for its curves and sexuality and some for their mothering ability to care
so because of my fascination with them i had lots of interaction with women)))
and God knows i can tell stories)))
Well, no man is EVER capable of things women do on everyday basis to OTHER people. Male or female.
And if you give em some booze they will admit))
A Biblical way of seeing women is the most adecvate.
let me tell you JUST one story. It is in the public domain:)
MZ versus XJ
I used to date this one long time in the 80s. She was a teen and i did not know who she is inside:
Marina Zoob. She got married several times after and once sued her ex:
FOR PROMISING to give her a gift. I found it by googling her name out of romantic memories.
What i found made me literally sick. I had to go to the john and throw up. Literally))
She lost, but!! get this: appealed and WON.
Check the argument her lawyer made:
promise MAY be considered a bounding contract!!!
So the woman (b) who is worth well, several mil if not several dozen mills GETS THE COURT TO ORDER HER EX TO TRANSFER THE CONDO PROPERTY TO HER NAME!!
There is no limit to the greed of the sick woman (b) like that.
Mind HOW STUPID she IS:
she is in her late 40s, not married, well, it figures))),
Now ANY MAN who she is trying to trick in dating her
AN GOOGLE her and find OUT!!!!
And her two DAUGHTERS !!! Well, the older one probably is aware WHO her mother is.
But the younger one, a daughter of Xavier Jordan may one day just go something to her mother. And i will not blame her)))
This is the best prove of the fact that society, this society is totally freaked up.
Question is: where to defect?
Jul 16, 2008 - 12:29 pm 50. kabud:Transcended:
don’t you BROTHER me, i am not you brother and never will be.
My sisters differ from you in many important respects, intellectual including but not limited to
the comment on PERSON OF “” OR WOMAN PRESIDENT
made it
you don’t care about this Country, -
you have no idea what The President means,
for you it is just a slot that candidate “of colour” regardless of qualification OR WOMAN can occupy
i have a very bad feeling about you future
Jul 16, 2008 - 12:52 pm 51. Xixi:Is this Pajamas Media or is it Vaginas Media?
Mary Grabar, you give English majors a bad name.
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:37 pm 52. fmw:I think women are by and large a lot worse to men, in marriages, than vice versa. I’d suggest that you ought to be publicly shamed for so obviously wanting to have things both ways, but you’ve already done a pretty good job of that with this article. Dragging Phil Spector into it is pretty dumb- holding people at gunpoint is not sleazy, it’s a felony.
Anyway, if you want to go back to those halcyon days when your kin could be expected to take your side in any dispute, it’s fine with me. But, in that case, I’d like to respectfully suggest that you get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:38 pm 53. Chuck Pelto:TO: All
RE: Another ‘S—’ Heard From?
Christie Brinkley has left a trail of tears behind her. Starting with Billy Joel.
Sure. She can expose her current legalized-boyfriend for his misconduct. And more power too her.
But let’s not forget HER malfeasance as well.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:40 pm 54. Chuck Pelto:TO: All
RE: Yeah….Sure….Right….
Harder still to find a ‘good woman’. Especially in the likes of Christie Brinkley.
From the looks of it, they were ‘Made for Each Other’. Maybe Hollywood could to a remake of the 1930s classic. Albeit, it would be VERY ‘dark’. Sort of like the 1980s War of the Roses.
Can you say, “Self-inflicted wounds?” I knew you could.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:48 pm 55. Lyddea:Wrong audience. Dr. Helen Smith gets plaudits every week by providing the anti-female stance thirsted for as self-confirmation by this site’s readership. This article doesn’t and the people aren’t happy. That’s not why they come to PJM, they thought at least here they had a like-minded community who recognizes the root cause of all intergender strife is the female sex.
I just love when quotes like this,
“it’s interesting that the title of the article is “Sleazy Men Should Be Publicly Shamed” rather than “Sleazy Mates (Male or Female) Should Be Publicly Shamed””
are posted by the same people who routinely decry such critiques as rampant PCism when applied the other way!
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:56 pm 56. I R A Darth Aggie:women do sometimes act in such despicable ways, though, statistically, much less frequently
And this based on what, exactly? as I recall, Joseph of Nazareth decided to quietly divorce Mary, to keep her from shame.
The moral of that story? a gentleman is always a gentleman. Your statistics are inherently biased - hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Jul 16, 2008 - 2:07 pm 57. ddc:Why all the Bible thumping I wonder? Has any of you who continue to recite from the Bible ever considered that the readership here might not all be Christian, or is that also beyond your grasp?
Jul 16, 2008 - 4:50 pm 58. Sheila:Kabud, the following sentence you wrote does not help your case in trying to prove men are more intellectual. You state: “…cheating requires 2 people man cheats his wife with another woman so the other woman cheats another man.”
Sorry but that is just plain illogical. Did it occur to you that men can have affairs with SINGLE women. Just a guess.
Regarding adultery statistics; Dr. Shirley Glass, author of “Not Just Friends” and recognized expert on infidelity having hundreds of clinical cases and more than 2 decades of research, states: “after reviewing 25 studies – 25% of wives and 44% of husbands have had extramarital intercourse.”
So you see, all you male bashers out there, there are a higher percentage of men NOT having affairs. 56% of men are not cheating. That’s pretty good.
And for all you female bashers who have posted your venom against women, one request, stay single.
Jul 16, 2008 - 5:10 pm 59. lovemelikeareptile:Women like myself who will take a man’s name to honor him for forgoing his basic nature because he loves us aren’t interested in guys like you.
Where is Mary ?
Where is Mary ?
Where is Mary ?
Either defend this article — or apologize for it.
Being incredibly attractive only goes so far….
Jul 16, 2008 - 6:14 pm 60. Pro-Male:Lyddea wrote (citing one of my comments), “are posted by the same people who routinely decry such critiques”.
Lyddea is both a liar and a character assassin.
(1) I have never before posted on PJM and so cannot possibly have routinely said anything here.
(2) Lyddea apparently cannot find a substantive argument against my comments, so she tries to put words in my mouth.
… which lead me to wonder if Lyddea is a feminist.
Jul 16, 2008 - 6:30 pm 61. Pro-Male:If Lyddea would like to learn to think, I suggest she read any of the works of Christina Hoff Sommers, particularly those distinguishing equity feminism from gender feminism.
My comments are entirely in Sommers’ style.
Jul 16, 2008 - 6:33 pm 62. kabud:Sheila:
Did it occur to you that women can have affairs with SINGLE men.
Listen are u for real?:):):)
>“after reviewing 25 studies – 25% of wives and 44% of husbands have had extramarital intercourse.”
this would mean something only if you add a figure of singles doing it)))
Your point only tells what happens in official marriage.
I may suspect that `singles` or those who claim themselves single the proportion is reversed.
But why would i trust people in this matter?
I leave and breath, i KNOW what people do around me. I see it.
Honestly i think that there is certain percentage of females who have much more partners in sex then men do on average
And with men it is likely that the number of partners is about average for most men
makes sense based on what we know about human sexuality
for any sexual with a partner another partner is needed
Jul 16, 2008 - 8:32 pm 63. lovemelikeareptile:Pro- male–
the distiction between ‘equity’ and ‘gender” feminsm is bogus.
Feminism is now and has always been a hate movement. It was not founded with benevolent intentions and noble goals– nor has it “gone awry ” doctrinally. Feminism has always been about hating men and boys– one need only read the founding documents of this evil movement . Nothing in the annals of hate literature– not the Nazis nor the Klan– rivals feminism as an emetic. Feminism has always been an affront to human rationality and dignity. No educated person should be guilty of such a barbarism as “feminism”– however qualified– and no rational and moral person can tolerate it.
There is no “good” type of feminism as there is no good variant of Nazism.
The distinction mentioned was invented by “conservative” women who wanted the two C’s they assocate (wrongly) with feminism– careers and contraception — but thought that other changes feminist sought to impose were detrimental– to women !
( Hence, Lets only have “equality” as long as it is in female self-interest ! Then, lets call a halt and women get the best of the old and new worlds and men are left with the worst of both. Thank you “equity” feminists…! )
Both feminists and their conservative female opponents, MS Graber here, take women as the measure of all things— “Is it good for women” has always been feminism’s sole criterion for evaluating public policy and its the ultimate criterion for their conservative female opponents. Alas, so far, with women of whatever ideology, its always about putting women first, not justice or fairness or equality.
Hence , conservatyive women attack feminism because they think it is hurting… women… not primarily because it is false,immoral, anti-male, irrational, mendacious and hateful. It has always been the latter… it “has gone too far” only relatively recently when conservative women felt further violations of men’s humanity and civil rights was detrimental… to women !
Incidentially—Hoff-Sommers penned a virulently anti-male attack on little boys in chapter 7 of her tome ironically about “the war against boys.”
Jul 16, 2008 - 10:20 pm 64. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: [OT] Those Godless ‘Bible Thumbers’
That’s probably WHY they cite that Old Book. Something about a requirement to explain thinks. And who knows….
Hope that helps. But it would probably be better if you learned more about what you rail against for yourself….instead of letting your prejudices rule your opinions.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 17, 2008 - 3:38 am 65. ddc:[Prejudice, n., a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.]
chuck,
Pot calling the kettle black. Perhaps you might learn something on the flip side. Specifically, understand this, that your recitations hold no value to the non-Christian outside the respect given for you to recite. Meaning, your prophet is not better, wiser, than mine or anyone else’s. Additionally, others might hold that there IS no prophet therefore the injection of your religious beliefs renders you incredible. Do you understand? If you don’t, it would serve you well to broaden your circle of real life acquiantances to include both non-Christians and non-believers. In that way you can also learn something.
With respect to Prejudice, it seems yours is glaring right back at you.
___________________________________
lovemelikeareptile,
For you to believe that the feminist movement was a hate movement you must also believe that the civil rights movement was also a hate movement.
If you do not believe so, then offer support to your theory. I would like to read what you think the motivations were behind the appearance of both these societal movements and why you think they might be the same or vastly different otherwise anything you say cannot at all be taken seriously and you reduce yourself to simply being a disgruntled hater yourself.
Jul 17, 2008 - 5:56 am 66. lovemelikeareptile:Of course feminism is a hate movement. Read the filth they have written about men and boys.
Its not a theory– its patently obvious … ” All men are Nazi rapists and thats all they are” ( paraphrase) is not the statement of a loving,rational person ( Marilyn French, The Women’s Room).
I direct you to some of feminism’s basic tracts–esp from the 1960s and 1970s. Any Anthology of short hate screeds will do ( found on Amazon) will do but specifically— The SCUM Manifesto ( Society for Cutting up Men ), Firestone– The Dialectic of Sex, Millet– Sexual Politics, Robin Morgan’s “works”, Marilyn French’s tomes, Daly, Steinem.. and a rogue’s gallery of the most disgusting purveyors of hate… the list is endless…
The civil rights movement … and feminism ! What an ugly analogy… comparing MLK, Jr to Gloria Steneim ! MLK, JR specifically repudiated what feminists embrace– that all public policy should be evaluated by one criterion– is it good for my group. Comparing blacks with… Women– what a howler !
You need to do some reading– Firestone’s The Dialectic of Sex is a good place to start…. or really just pick up anything written by an avowed feminist.
Motivations? That would require a historian and more… it sure as hell wasn’t “Equality”….
But thats off topic.
Jul 17, 2008 - 8:00 am 67. ddc:Gloria Steinem was never, is not a legislature. She enacted no laws I know of. Just as there are radical fringes in any political party, religion, ideology there are radicals in feminism.
That being said, you’ve yet to prove to me that the laws (Federally) enacted for the equality of women, i.e., the right for women to vote, the right for women to equal pay, advancement, education, etc. which also crossed over into the civil rights of minorities movement, were fueled by hate.
Jul 17, 2008 - 8:19 am 68. kabud:feminism is threatening thing that has ruined birth rate
look, the Muslim world has no feminism and EXCELLENT birth rate
European world - on the contrary is dieing
Importing muslims or mexicans or chinese will change the fabric of society and will eventually bring to us the same level of totalitarian communism and organised crime that is so much spread in muslim, chinese and latin-american worlds
So feminism is a weapon against us.
One may argue: well, women are humans and want liberties.
But dont they have those already?
We have to adopt some different approach here based on the natural differences in sexes
For males it should be:
a right/obligation to serve in the military,
when a normal course of life of a young man is changed for a while when he is serving
voluntarily with appropriate compensation
or involuntary if need for that appears
For females it should be child baring. Well, this can not be mandated but should be economically , morally and culturally encouraged WITH APPROPRIATE COMPENSATION
Those are the only measures we should take if we want the next generations to enjoy Liberty and prosperity in USA
Jul 17, 2008 - 9:00 am 69. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: How So?
What’s THIS? You’re one of the godless Bible-Thumpers? How very odd….
RE: Flip-Side Learnings
I’m always eager to learn. Comes with being an ENTJ (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator).
Lead me!
Is that MY problem? Or theirs?
As for MY prophet….how can there be an effective comparison unless you or they tell me who their prophet is? Otherwise, it’s all bombast and bluster. You can’t do a true compare and contrast analysis, if there is nothing, or no one, to compare with.
Don’t you think….[Note: Loaded question, that.]
Really? Just because I have an opinion that is diametrically opposed to someone else, I should be silenced? Well. I’ve met a lot of people like that. They operate their own blogs and live down to such standards. They resemble the killers of history; ‘If you can’t silence them, kill them.’
Good thing that the operators of this system don’t ascribe to YOUR beliefs about Freedom of Expression. Eh? Otherwise, YOU might be the one ‘killed’ here.
I associate with MANY people from MANY different backgrounds and belief systems. Probably much more diverse than your circle. We enjoy exchanges of ideas. Probably much more so than you do. [Note: Click on my name to get a clue; wiccan, homosexuals, transgenders (including post-surgical), junkyard operators, pathologists, computer programmers, professors, gun-lovers, gun-haters. You name em. We got em.]
What’s your point? Or are you just demonstrating your pejorative nature again?
Please be specific.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
P.S. Is this another ‘attack’ scenario, as you mentioned down the hall from here? Sure looks like it to me.
P.P.S. Care to get back ON-TOPIC instead of these pathetic ad homs?
May I offer an on-topic discussion for your consideration? How about…
Why is citing christian ethics inappropriate for relationships between men and women, vis-a-vis malfeasance on either party’s part.
I’d certainly find that much more stimulating and educational than beating you up on matters of your prejudice.
Jul 17, 2008 - 12:18 pm 70. ddc:In the process of deciding lawful cases in which issues of gender equality arise, what is written in any Religious manual is and rightly should be, irrelevent in 2008 and in the US. Had the reverse still been true, one gender would still be the property of another.
Blather on all you wish if doing so may even make you feel necessary. However in a discussion about a topic most secular in nature, that of divorce and the dividing up of marriage assets and exposing a spouse for, in this case, the failure he is as a husband and father. The fact still remains, religion is ultimately irrelevant, outside of YOUR own mind.
On another point, your holy-rolling is truly utterly hypocritical. Doesn’t Christianity frown considerably on divorce, even considering it a sin? Yet aren’t you on your 2nd or 3rd marriage? Or is your religion a “pick and choose” which tenets you want to follow? On the other hand, I and my husband are still on our 1st married with no instance of major issue in sight - without even a 7 year itch between us, and surprisingly we are both non-believers.
So riddle us this, was it after the 1st or 2nd divorce that you found God?
Jul 17, 2008 - 1:23 pm 71. kabud:i am sure feminism is a subversive methodology.
A very smart one though: it appeals on the surface to the human rights but actually is totally against them.
“emancipated” women are the most unhappy you ever meet. i gave an example in this or other thread of MZ who is very emancipated, has an MBA degree from the top school, is worth millions and is absolutely unhappy and freaked up- the most damaged woman i ever met
in my homeland we kinda have a hidden subtle matriarchal structure
it comes from the times centuries ago when men spent most of their time in military camps called “Sech” on an island in Dnipro river .
It was sort of a regular army
Women stayed home with kids and took care of things there
Men used to come home for some time bringing valuables that they acquire in expeditions
But since women were ruling things at home it created this female relative dominance in culture, but a very specific one.
Thats why Ukrainians and Ukrainian women were never tempted by feminism.
I found that i can only have long lasting relationship with Ukrainian women, even more: with women from exactly my place of birth: Kyiv
This cultural thing is appeared to be very deep and strong.
Women of other nationalities usually have no clue what i mean and where it all comes from.
Jul 17, 2008 - 1:49 pm 72. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: [OT] Finding God
Answer MY question and I’ll answer yours.
Your type seem to be always asking questions but never answering them. I’ve noticed this proclivity over the years.
Show me MY ‘prejudice’.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 17, 2008 - 3:19 pm 73. Chuck Pelto:[People how have no answers are always asking questions.]
TO: ddc
RE: More Later…Perhaps…
Right now, I’m making supper. So the next comment could take a while. It all depends on how much time I can spare from the preparation of the entree; something to do with steaming marinated chicken breasts.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 17, 2008 - 3:29 pm 74. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: [OT] A Moment of Aside; Finding God
In truth?
I find Him every day.
I started looking BEFORE my first divorce. I found Him, for the first time, a year, almost to the day, of X2 leaving me.
I NEVER filed for divorce; as you noticed, God doesn’t like it. Both of the women filed. X1 when she had finally snagged her boss and X2 when I refused to co-sign for a mortgage on a house she and her lover wanted to buy.
What’s your point?
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 17, 2008 - 3:59 pm 75. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
Jul 17, 2008 - 4:28 pm 76. kabud:RE:
>Right now, I’m making supper. So the next comment could take a while. It all depends on how much time I can spare from the preparation of the entree; something to do with steaming marinated chicken breasts.
Ha! And i am making pork in tomatoes!
Just went outside to buy meat and conversed to a nice italian girl, actual italian, she was on the phone talking the language.
Very beautifully breasted mamma))
You know Chuck, those females here you talk to- they might be male homosexuals or other pretenders for all we know
intelectually though it seemed they are female
but who knows
Jul 17, 2008 - 4:31 pm 77. james wilson:All true, but not all of the truth.
Jul 18, 2008 - 9:04 am 78. Lyddea:All the truth is that she married him, and history shows she will do it again, because she has done it before.
So this is not an accident but rather what she really is, an asshole magnet. Pucker up, and bring the kid along for the ride.
Boo-hoo.
“So riddle us this, was it after the 1st or 2nd divorce that you found God?”
Easily the line of the thread. Took four consecutive posts to even respond to. We do find out that Chuck has discovered the PJM concensus reality that women are at the root of all intergender strife. All his divorces were solely his wife’s fault. We let one of the previous comments apply,
“A man [woman] who has been married multiple times and is obviously deficient in the relationship skills department, is not held accountable. Even worse, is painted as the victim. Yet of course the females [male] in the story, whose behavior while not by any means perfect, face unfairly the scorn of the writer.”
Jul 18, 2008 - 9:41 am 79. Earl T:Oh puleease!
These poooor women are all victims!
None of them ever did anything to deserve their cruel fates! Not one ever broke any part of THEIR vows to their husbands (and not just the “sex” part, any part—the “love, cherish, et al” part).
Why, women are complete saints! None ever tries to emasculate their husbands by insults, mental abuse, or continual disrespect, or by being “too tired’ or refusing to get along with their husband’s family…Oh, those are just silly rumors!
Its just that all men are pigs, undeserving of any consideration; their reasons and arguments have NO MERIT! They’re just males after all!
Forget that divorce courts completely favor the woman—even to the point of cmplete “unconstitutionality”–ever hear of a man jailed for non-payment of child support, in spite of the constitutional ban upon imprisonment for debt? Of course you have.
Yet, ever heard of any woman being penalized for failing to spend penny of her child support on the children? NO! There is no requirement she do so, those funds can be used for parties, shoes, drugs—who knows?—without any oversight, but let a man miss a single CS payment and see what happens.
Gawd, as much as I hate to admit it, Dr Lara Schlesinger was right when she told the “Good Morning America” folks that poor Mrs Spitzer( and other women like her) is/are as much to blame for her/their plight as her crazy, egotistical husband.
Meanwhile, just keep beating up on men, they can take, they’re just a step above animals anyway!
Jul 18, 2008 - 9:52 am 80. Mylai:“Gawd, as much as I hate to admit it, Dr Lara Schlesinger was right when she told the “Good Morning America” folks that poor Mrs Spitzer( and other women like her) is/are as much to blame for her/their plight as her crazy, egotistical husband. ”
I suppose then that when the wives cheat on their husbands with their hot fitness trainers it’s her husband’s fault she cheated and not that she’s a crazy egotistical bitch, right?
Ok then, I like that a lot! I wish more men would think as you!
Jul 18, 2008 - 10:49 am 81. ddc:“So riddle us this, was it after the 1st or 2nd divorce that you found God?”
Easily the line of the thread. Took four consecutive posts to even respond to. We do find out that Chuck has discovered the PJM concensus reality that women are at the root of all intergender strife. All his divorces were solely his wife’s fault. We let one of the previous comments apply,
“A man [woman] who has been married multiple times and is obviously deficient in the relationship skills department, is not held accountable. Even worse, is painted as the victim. Yet of course the females [male] in the story, whose behavior while not by any means perfect, face unfairly the scorn of the writer.”
_______________
This did bare reposting.
Jul 18, 2008 - 10:54 am 82. lovemelikeareptile:DC is a gynocentric mess—
Just saw her hilarious post where prostituiton was the only crime where the buyer did not get prosecuted !!!!!
What planet do you live on /
The real issue is bias against men— because
prostitution is the only crime where the pusher is free to go and the buyer is arrested/fined….
What an anti-male bigot
Jul 18, 2008 - 1:00 pm 83. Phil Ann Durer:“I suppose then that when the wives cheat on their husbands with their hot fitness trainers it’s her husband’s fault she cheated and not that she’s a crazy egotistical bitch, right?
Ok then, I like that a lot! I wish more men would think as you!”
You are absolutely correct!
I don’t understand all the worship of the monogomous relationship by the anti-christans. In the absence of a deity, we are merely animals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel.
Our culture is based on Judeo-Christian values, whether you believe or not. Everybody sheds the values that conflict with doing what makes them feel good. Fine, no big deal.
Case in point: I don’t understand why homosexuality must be absolutely acceptred or you are labeled an intolerant homophobe. A good portion of the population finds the practice abhorrent. I consider it your right to practice it, regardless of what I think.
However in contrast, ‘Extramarital intercourse’, is considered to be so bad and those who practice it are so terrible the can be publicly humiliated, slandered etc. . . Mary, I consider your ignorant intolarant opinions irrelavant.
And as the lady’s comment above implies, take care of business at home, or someone will take care of your business for you.
Jul 18, 2008 - 3:30 pm 84. ddc:And here I was thinking the cops were always rounding up street hookers and locking them up after a sting operation.
If that’s the case then it should stand to reason that the buyer of sex should also be arrested in similar respect that both buyer and seller of a bag of crack are also arrested. Never understood the disparity between the handling of the two crimes.
Jul 18, 2008 - 3:37 pm 85. ddc:PJM really needs to enact some kind of comment moderation. Seriously.
Jul 18, 2008 - 3:48 pm 86. Phil Ann Durer:“On another point, your holy-rolling is truly utterly hypocritical. Doesn’t Christianity frown considerably on divorce, even considering it a sin? … On the other hand, I and my husband are still on our 1st married with no instance of major issue in sight - without even a 7 year itch between us, and surprisingly we are both non-believers. ”
You know so little about Christ & Christianity that you should not speak about it. You probably should not have married, a corporation with two shares of stock, one for each would seem more appropriate.
Any Christian(or non-ignorant athiest) knows we are all sinners.
We are forgiven. I try very hard to not judge, but it seems to come very easily to you. In the absence of god in your life, you have claimed the right to look down on others as if you were a god.
Blah blah blah, I know you don’t care about or understand your own hypocrisy or lack of foundation.
Jul 18, 2008 - 4:32 pm 87. kabud:You are right about prostitution though ddc, either legalize, or arrest everybody. Have a good weekend!!!
Phil Ann Durer:
but she has a good communist instinct to demand censorship when there is no other argument
she is a cripto-communist and dangerous
Jul 18, 2008 - 5:11 pm 88. Sejanus:Is Ms. Grabar on the Canadian HRC or the faculty at Duke, I’m sure she’d be welcomed at Duke particularly by the Lacrosse team.
Jul 18, 2008 - 6:44 pm 89. kabud:http://www.marygrabar.com/
good looking middle aged Slovenian
academic, well, it shows
Jul 18, 2008 - 7:36 pm 90. Dale Sperling:I personally thibk women must be great liars. Every survey says that men have more sec and more partners and do it more times and are more likely to cheat on a souce. Who, exactly, are they having sex with? Every time I’ve ever had sex, there was a woman involved.
Yea, Cooks a scumbag but at least he didn’t lie about it.
Jul 19, 2008 - 6:22 am 91. kabud:Dale Sperling:
a lady friend was telling me the story about female squarrels who mate on average with 14 males in a mating period
she said , look how permiscous females THE ARE
me:
they may be so ONLY if the numer of females in squarrel population is 14 times less then males
took her 5 minutes to fully realize the theabsurdity of the squarrel theory)))) then we laughed together
same here))
what is really scary - is that there are devious manipulators who use this female features agains THE SOCIETY to destroy it
Jul 19, 2008 - 7:44 am 92. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: Interesting….
“So riddle us this, was it after the 1st or 2nd divorce that you found God?”– ddc </blockquote
…that in all this ‘reposting’ that bore reposting, you failed to cite what I said.
Why is that? Looks like typical female malfeasance in ‘debate’ to me.
RE: The Line of the Thread
Consecutive posts? How so?
Please explain, although I’m all to familiar with your obvious inability or unwillingness to explain much of anything. All you do is (1) change the subject and (2) ask more questions. But you seldom, if ever, answer questions asked of you. Typical feminist that you are.
Your proclivities not to answer questions are proof of my, and likely most PJM males, that all too many women have serious issues regarding ‘inter-gender strife’.
RE: Root Cause Analysis
So. You think running off with your boss who left his wife and family of 20 years and then divorcing him and raping him in court is MY fault?
Or that when estranged #2 wants to buy a house for her and her boyfriend but can’t because she’s still married and I refuse to co-sign on the mortgage that’s MY fault?
You surely are a twisted person.
I’d REALLY like to see your book of prophets. It would be an eye-opener.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
P.S. You mentioned, elsewhere, working in your father’s ‘firm’. Was he a lawyer, by any chance?
[Lawyer, n., One skilled at circumventing the Law.]
Jul 19, 2008 - 12:15 pm 93. Chuck Pelto:TO: All
RE: Moderation of PJM
“PJM really needs to enact some kind of comment moderation. Seriously.” — ddc
Let us pray to God Almighty that ddc is not put in charge. She’ll ‘castrate’ every male she encounters.
Then, PJM will go the way of Life cable network; all feminist all the time.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 12:23 pm 94. kabud:[Female: One of the opposing, or unfair, sex. -- Ambrose Bierce; The Devil's Dictionary]
>You think running off with your boss who left his wife and family of 20 years and then divorcing him and raping him in court is MY fault?
you know, animals of this kind or THAT kind don’t THINK, they
GRAB AND RUN or just DESTROY AND RUN. their idea of the world is: i AM ENTITLED TO ANYTHING MY EMOTION TELLS ME TO DO
the egocentrics is a female nature, but after years of `special feministic treatment` it mutated into this
And when caught lying or doing gruesome things - they will tell you that THEY WERE POSSESSED
When not caught - they will just GET AWAY WITH NO REMORSE
Jul 19, 2008 - 12:58 pm 95. Chuck Pelto:TO: Lyddea & ddc
RE: Target Fixation Issues
I apologize for responding to ddc for a comment made by Lyddea.
Sincerely, I had just finished commenting to ddc on another thread up the hall from here and I thought ddc had made the comment I responded to at Jul 19, 2008 - 12:15 pm.
I apologize for my misappropriate.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 1:13 pm 96. Chuck Pelto:[The only Guy I know who was 'perfect', got nailed to a tree for His temerity.]
TO: PJM & All
RE: Moderation?
“PJM really needs to enact some kind of comment moderation. Seriously.” — ddc
Why is it that ddc doesn’t think there is any ‘moderation’ at PJM?
I see that my comments are ALWAYS ‘delayed’ or ‘moderated’. So why is it ddc’s comments aren’t obviously ‘moderated’? Is she (1) blind, (2) stupid or (3) is there a moderation going on here that applies to me and not to her?
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 2:57 pm 97. Chuck Pelto:P.S. It’s been 20 minutes since I posted that comment about moderation on PJM. There’s an example of ‘moderation’ for you ddc.
How long a delay is it for YOUR comments to appear?
Jul 19, 2008 - 3:18 pm 98. Chuck Pelto:TO: Sejanus
RE: LaCrose, Anyone?
“Is Ms. Grabar on the Canadian HRC or the faculty at Duke, I’m sure she’d be welcomed at Duke particularly by the Lacrosse team.” — Sejanus
Get the Sticks!
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 6:08 pm 99. Chuck Pelto:TO: kabud
RE: THAT….
“And when caught lying or doing gruesome things - they will tell you that THEY WERE POSSESSED
When not caught - they will just GET AWAY WITH NO REMORSE” — kabud
….goes far in explaining their predilection in slaughtering their sisters to get babies from them. Like the recent case in Pennsylvania. And there have been several other instances over the last few years.
On the other hand, there are the cases where they have children and murder them by drowning; Texas, North Carolina, and a couple of other similar instances that I can’t recall off the top of my head.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 6:13 pm 100. Chuck Pelto:[The Truth will out.]
TO: Earl T
RE: Actually….
“Yet, ever heard of any woman being penalized for failing to spend penny of her child support on the children? NO! There is no requirement she do so, those funds can be used for parties, shoes, drugs—who knows?—without any oversight, but let a man miss a single CS payment and see what happens.” - Earl T
…it’s worse than that.
Remember a couple of years ago about the wife of a christian minister shot him in the back with a shotgun while he was asleep in bed?
The trial found her ‘guilty’.
The sentence was….
….a couple of months in a state [mental] ‘health spa’ and then release.
Go fig….
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 19, 2008 - 6:26 pm 101. lovemelikeareptile:P.S. If Brinkley did such a thing to Cook—in California—Arnold would probably be forced—by the legislature—to pin a medal on her.
DDC is a true believer— facts don’t get in the way of her gynocentrism and bias against men.
Johns are set up by the cops in sting operations typically, —not the hookers. Johns have money to pay fines… hookers usually are not good bets to pay up.
You turn an obvious case of bias against men– and imagine there is sexism against — WOMEN !!
The state always goes after the dealer/pusher/supplier— not the user– except for prostitution.
How was the hooker who serviced Spitzer prosecuted ? Inquiring minds want to know…
Jul 19, 2008 - 8:10 pm 102. lovemelikeareptile:Where is Mary ?
Where is Mary ?
Where is Mary ?
Please provide empirical suypport for this fact claim
” women do sometines act in such despicable ways,though, statistically, MUCH less frequently”.
Otherwise it is rank bigotry– if it was direct5ed against any other group in society it would not be tolerated.
Justify you claim of female superiority or withdraw it.
Perhaps counseling will remove your bias against men and eliminate these anti-male rants .
Jul 19, 2008 - 8:20 pm 103. ddc:Last first…
* “where is Mary supporting here evidence as to the rarity of despicable behavior in womenfolk.” Possible answer = Which gender fills our/the world’s prisons more? Little to to with any “bias.”
* Hookers and Johns: Was Eliott charged with a crime for purchasing sex? Charlie Sheen? Any of the customers of Heidi Fleiss or the DC Madam? Far as I know only the dealers were charged. Hugh Grant was booked but that fool bought a street hooker. Apparently that was a bad choice.
* Comments delay for me? Couple minutes or so.
* finally, the men here would like the women readers to accept (without question or consideration) that Christy Brinkley was somehow equally accountable for her Husband’s infidelity/using her money to shut the gf up, his porn addiction issues and the desolution of their marriage, then, logic prevailing of course, it would also be acceptable to place half the fault of your wife taking off with the other guy in your hands. However painfull that may seem, either you accept that it takes two to make a marriage or you don’t.
Jul 20, 2008 - 12:03 am 104. kabud:to ALL
>using her money
USING THEIR MONEY. husband and wife SHARE the assets.
ddc:
you proved again that you have NO IDEA and is not worth paying any attention whatsoever
Jul 20, 2008 - 1:33 pm 105. NYC:Kabud is the main reason why Ukraine women leave their country the minute they can. Who can blame them.
Jul 21, 2008 - 7:49 am 106. kabud:NYC:
your remark is noticeable
just yesterday spoke to a lady friend , she traveled to Kyiv
what she saw there is just a shock:
MANY MANY MANY very good looking girls, young women and ladies
almost NON men
Practically all sober , not fat and handsome men could be found ONLY in limousines. And not driving them, but hiring drivers)))
Guys- really- go there, u will be so amazed
NYC u are a fake but i know WHAT makes u write this: u feel so helpless so alone so not needed
Jul 21, 2008 - 9:02 am 107. NYC:Thats pretty interesting since I work in a big health care clinic which employes many Ukraine and receptionists or assistants, all about mid to late 20’s, early 30’s. All of them say the same thing. They left Ukraine because the men are horrible with their attitudes towards women and they have more opportunities for jobs and husbands here. They say they want better.
Where must you work that all you see are fat people, a bakery? NYC and elsewhere is full of handsome, thin, men who understand how to treat women. They are taking your women as well as women from the Philippines, Russia, China and elsewhere where women are not getting the respect they’d like from their men or jobs. All the statistics reflect this fact. Ask some of the men here who have foreign wives and girlfriends - they will tell you what their wives say. That they do not want to marry the men of their home town. Sad.
Jul 21, 2008 - 10:25 am 108. kabud:NYC:
they left ukraine because they could
if you can not google and find exact living conditions there- u are pathetic
if a westerner comes there and he is normaly looking there gonna be a line of women to touch him
sad is your state of mind
Jul 21, 2008 - 11:08 am 109. NYC:Said is the state of your country which they leave. 3rd world men are living in the stoneage. Men beat their women due to feelings of inferiority and in your country, they hit women because they can. Who wants to live in such a place. At least in the USA we have the best laws protecting women and girls. When men are found to be abusive, they are jailed. Not so in your country sad to say. Hopefully the men of Ukraine and your government will change for the better one day.
http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/info/EUR50/005/2006 Read the PDF
Foreign women come to the US for a much better life, better treatment. Of course these women will flock to western men tourists. They are looking for a chance to get out of their Country and stay out.
The thing most sad is you are living in denial about everything.
Jul 21, 2008 - 11:57 am 110. Chuck Pelto:TO: ddc
RE: Comment Moderation
So….there IS comment moderation. And it applies more the me than to you, eh.
Well. I guess we can see something significant HERE. Actually, several things, if anyone followed this little ‘digression.
Thanks.
RE: Finally
As I commented earlier, you are obviously something of a grotesque hypocrite. Over on the Dr. Helen tread, many of your ‘sisters’ were saying it’s the guy’s fault for his problems and nothing to do with womens’ conduct. I don’t recall seeing you defending the guy(s) like you’re defending Brinkley.
Also, as I said earlier, based on Brinkley’s history and the information about her current future-ex, the two were made for each other. It was an impending train-wreck from the moment they took whatever they took for ‘vows’; and an unholy alliance at that.
Isn’t that what I was saying? Heh….
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 21, 2008 - 1:42 pm 111. kabud:[It takes two to tango, and either one can start stepping on the others toes at any time. Indeed, they both might begin stomping on each other.]
NYC:
why Amnesty? it is long ago got under control of kgb
there also OTHER sources))
I like the way u put it : YOUR country
you look so unhappy, may i give you some money so u could go and by yourself an ice cream
and WHY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NICKNAME, HA?
Jul 21, 2008 - 2:02 pm 112. ddc:You seem to be a grotesque knuckle head for 1. failure to understand sarcazm. 2. missing the entire point.
[ Chuck Pelto:
TO: All
RE: Another ‘S—’ Heard From?
Christie Brinkley has left a trail of tears behind her. Starting with Billy Joel.
Sure. She can expose her current legalized-boyfriend for his misconduct. And more power too her.
"But let’s not forget HER malfeasance as well."
Regards,
Chuck(le)]
Jul 16, 2008 - 1:40 pm]
That’s the ticket. And what about your own malfeasance. Three marriages, indeed. Maybe you think you ought to be excused. Hopefully you don’t as it would only highlight your own grotesque hypocracy. But how about this, you would have gotten a pass from more pjm women had you not wish to have your cake and eat it too. Malfeasance anyone?
This thread is officially tiresome. As are Chuck and Kadud. You two whine among yourselves.
Jul 21, 2008 - 4:06 pm 113. lovemelikeareptile:The anti-male bigot DDC
Hey gynophiliac– “despicable” behavior is vastly broader than serious criminal behavior that would result in incarceration. You just wanted to satisfy a desire to make an anti–male comment.
Perhaps you might acquaint your little brain with the gender of virtually everyone who has contributed to civilization — MALE– women have contributed virtually nothing to civilizatoion– not in art, music , literature, science… etc….nada… uh zippo…
You blithering airhead– Spitzer had to resign as Governor– ending his career and significantly damaging his life. Pull your head out of you v****a— no one can legitimately deny that johns are pursued and not the hookers.
Jul 21, 2008 - 5:30 pm 114. ddc:Such venom!!! Were you foaming at the mouth when you wrote this?
“Perhaps you might acquaint your little brain with the gender of virtually everyone who has contributed to civilization — MALE– women have contributed virtually nothing to civilizatoion– not in art, music , literature, science… etc….nada… uh zippo…”
My little brain? Since you prefer to point the above positives out so viciously you should also take full credit for the the negatives and take the blame for civilizations demise. The fall of empires. the endless upon endless bloodshed due to wars, the spreading of disease to other cultures, Slavery, mass murders/ethnic cleansing/rapes, agent orange, the atom bomb and the entire arsonal of weapons, the exploitation of women/children and even other men, let’s not forget religious JIHADS!!! And according to Al Gore - GLOBAL WARMING!!! Need I go on? Greed, fear, paranoia. If the male gender was studied as one case study by a team Psychologist the only diagnosis they could possibly come up with is, paranoid schizophrenic.(sp)
And they say women has “issues?”
Yet you want to blame women. For what exactly? Exposing a cheating douche of a husband? This bugs you THAT much? Frightening. Truly.
Hey, you brought all of that up, no one else.
Spitzer was disgraced not arrested. What message does it send to keep a Governor who doesn’t follow the laws he himself makes.
Jul 21, 2008 - 7:26 pm 115. Sheila:To Lovemelikeareptile.
Your indictment towards women and their contributions to civilization are not based in facts. Before women had the right to vote (or own their own clothes) many female inventors had to patent their inventions under their father or husbands name. There have been plenty of female inventors in the past and currently.
Also, I won’t spend too much time listing some of the great art work of Camille Claudel, Frida Kahlo, or Georgia O’Keeffe (to name only a few), that would get boring, but I’m sure some would agree that their work was a contribution to our society.
I think your postings show that your attitude towards women is, shall we say, less than favorable.
You are clearly a victim of this rotten society we call America, that lets women get away with cheating and unfaithfulness, and the poor innocent men have to pay for their infidelity and get raked through the mud. My advise, get over it. Let me tell you something you may not know, but life isn’t fair. Sorry, if you feel that our society is set up to devalue men and the whole system is rigged towards women, but there isn’t enough evidence in your few random posts to prove that is the case.
You write like a poor little victim, as if men don’t have any advantages in this society. Well they do and I won’t waste anyone’s time by listing the obvious.
So in conclusion Reptile, rest easy because I’m sure there are plenty of cheating husbands getting away with their affairs, right now, as we live and breathe. Just as I’m sure there are plenty of women who are likely not getting a dime in a divorce settlement. That should finally make you happy.
Jul 21, 2008 - 7:50 pm 116. Chuck Pelto:TO: All
RE: ddc & Another Change of Subject….Attempt
“You seem to be a grotesque knuckle head for 1. failure to understand sarcazm. 2. missing the entire point.” — ddc
So not it’s ’sarcasm’, as in ‘just kidding’, eh?
And an ad hom to boot.
But you still don’t answer the question about why you have one think on this thread and something completely opposite, based on gender, on Dr. Helens.
It’s called hypocrisy, babe.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Jul 22, 2008 - 11:52 am 117. Chuck Pelto:P.S. And YOU, ddc, manifest hypocrisy oh, so well….of the gender persuasion.
[An hypocrite with her mouth destroyeth her neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered. -- Proverbs]
Jul 22, 2008 - 11:56 am 118. lovemelikeareptile:Chris Evert has revealed that she cheated on her husband — with her husband’s BEST FRIEND, Greg Norman — and got custody of the lids after the divorce !!! VAGINA JUSTICE
WHere is Mary ” Women Are Great” Graber to denounce her ‘despicable” behavior and have her publically flogged !…
Her now ex-husband said the affair destroyed his marriage and his family– and he now lives alone.
Jul 24, 2008 - 3:42 pm 119. CCC:While his slutty wife cheated and got custody of “his” children, too !!
Apparently Mary got her PhD through an affirmative action program, as she is unable to craft a paragtraph that might provide a rational basis for her fact-claim that women engage in “despicable” behavior ” much less’ frequently than men.
This is sexism of the rankest sort– becasue it is absurdly false– and can only reflect a delusional affection for one’s own gender– and a pejorative view of the other gender.
Jul 25, 2008 - 4:37 am 120. Luke:I agree with CCC….He knows whats going on
Jul 26, 2008 - 8:21 pm 121. RevSpinnaker:Mary Grabar,
Jul 29, 2008 - 6:06 pmYou cite women behave as despicably as men “though statistically, much less frequently.” Were you aware that American women kill more of their own (natural) children than any other women in the industrialized world? Go find that on Oprah. Go fight win grrrlfriend, go, go, go!