How the Marx Brothers (Almost) Rescued Wall Street
Surely they can do a better job than this. Yes, they can — and don't call me Shirley.
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For a while on Monday, it appeared that the Marx Brothers had taken over Capitol Hill. There was “Groucho” Pelosi standing in the well of the House doing her best imitation of a partisan harpie while the financial system of the United States was crashing down around her ears.
Her spittle-flecked rant against Republicans and the president may not have been helpful to promoting a spirit of bipartisanship, but as a comedy bit it was a huge hit with the Democrats. I half expected Margaret Dumont to leap out from the Republican side of the aisle and start feeding the straight lines to Madame Speaker. No doubt it would have brought down the House — except Pelosi was doing a fine job of that all by herself.
Then there was John “Chico” McCain after the bailout’s defeat, off stage somewhere, piously remonstrating about how necessary it was for a bipartisan solution to the crisis. It sounded something like President of Freedonia Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup:
Rufus T. Firefly: I’d be unworthy of the high trust that’s been placed in me if I didn’t do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia in peace with the world. I’d be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn’t. A fine thing that’ll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That’ll add a lot to my prestige, won’t it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a foreign ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it — I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept. Why, the cheap ball-pushing swine, he’ll never get away with it I tell you, he’ll never get away with it.
[Trentino enters]
Rufus T. Firefly: So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh?
In other words, “Can’t we all get along — even if my opponent is a jerk?” McCain may have suspended his campaign (sort of) in order to appear to be doing something about the crisis but all he ended up accomplishing was getting Democrats mad at him, Republicans wondering what he was doing, and voters moving to Obama en masse.
Well, that worked out fine, didn’t it, John?
Then there’s Barack “Harpo” Obama. As we all know, Harpo never says a word, simply makes beautiful music on his harp. I was tempted to refer to Obama as Zeppo Marx since he was invisible in most of the group’s later films but didn’t want to spoil the harp analogy. I mean, if all we have to do to fix America is elect Obama, even if things don’t work out quite as planned, we’ll always have that soft, soothing harp playing beautiful music — or Obama making those gorgeous speeches — to comfort us as we’re standing in soup lines or, best case scenario, in the unemployment line.
Rick Moran is PJM Chicago editor; his own blog is Right Wing Nut House.
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20 Comments
1. Candide:That must be one of your most disjointed and unhinged outbursts, mustn’t it?
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:17 am 2. Nate:I dunno. Having congress settle things with duels might be a good idea. With good luck we might get to replace half of them. It wouldn’t be a clean sweep, but it’d be better than nothing.
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:31 am 3. CR:I’m not quite old enough to know about the Marx Brothers so you lost me with that ancient analogy. Most of the American public seems to be against the bailout, so our representatives should be voting against it. It’s a complex issue, and not one that’s easily summed-up or compared with a comedy troupe of all things. I’m not sure rescuing an industry that made bad lending decisions, or was forced by the feds to make those bad loans should be bailed out with taxpayer money. If my company goes broke because I made bad decisions, nobody will come and bail me out - that’s the way it works.
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:34 am 4. kabud:You want to save USA economy:
share videos from youtube AGAINST BAILOUT
YOUTUBE is screwed up
but here is a simple add-on to FIREFOX that can download that video
from youtube that does not play:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/3006
and it will play on your computer
share it
spread the word
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:48 am 5. rocketeer:Great article!! Smashes both sides with equal zest.
I’m growing so disappointed with all of the characters in this little drama that we have going on in Washington. The democrats are shrill hucksters, the republicans (except for some of the notable efforts from some in the house) are always the perennial “gentlemen” and don’t ever stand up for themselves. McCain’s campaign has been very hard-fought, but seems to be losing steam since this crisis. Obama is just dismal all the way around.
Where is that “none-of-the-above” button?
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:48 am 6. Lynn:Pelosi might be “Groucho” but you are just plain “Grouchy”. I found the title of your article highly misleading and was expecting a little levity about this situation. Blah!
Oct 1, 2008 - 12:12 pm 7. cfbleachers:Groucho Pelosi: After my hyperpartisan torpedo speech and House Splinter, I mean Speaker…my own party wants me to sign the sanity clause.
Chico Dodd: They no foola me, there’s no such thing as Sanity Klaus.
Gummo Franks: No, you idiot….WE have been Santa Claus for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. We have allowed our pals to line their pockets in a way that makes Ken Lay look like a Boy Scout. They cooked the books over at Fannie and Freddie, a New York grand jury is going to hand down indictments and we need to find dollars and taxes to cover it up.
Chico Dodd: Dollars, taxes? Holy moses! I have a bagman in Dallars, Taxas!
Gummo Franks: Don’t say Herb Moses! Hey maybe we can blame the Republicans! The Mao-Stream Media is in our pockets too…they can spin this so we don’t get caught. We need someone as a front man to shift the blame. It would have to be someone who can carry an empty message in a manner that is soothing to the ear, but doesn’t care that it is pure sophistry.
Harpo Obama: (crickets chirping)
Oct 1, 2008 - 1:59 pm 8. Anonymous Patriot:You could have used this line from Animal Crackers:
“The other night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.”
- Captain Spaulding (Groucho Marx)
Metaphors abound…
Oct 1, 2008 - 3:00 pm 9. Dave Simon:Would someone please give me the definition of CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN ???? Any politician who votes for this bailout should be voted out ASAP. It makes me sick to think about it. Why don’t we just give Washington our pay checks and let them decide how much they can send back to us.
Oct 1, 2008 - 5:03 pm 10. Kirk:As I’ve been watching politics over the years, this one event does happen from time to time. It’s not always obvious, it can’t be to happen at all. What happens is, every great while money controllers, law controllers and political controllers sense a weakness in the body politic. They grab a handful of power, money , usually both, and pretend nothing happened.
When did you lose your property rights to the government? (take and give to other private entity)
We came one vote from losing our second amendment recently. (DC gun ban vote)
Sovereignty? (vote pandering to illegal aliens)
Freedom (what day is tax freedom day again? the day you start working for yourself instead of the government)
ect
Inch by inch in my short lifetime we are less free than we were…and what is yet to come from this vote.
Oct 1, 2008 - 8:09 pm 11. crossover:This bill was written to save the Native American vote. Obama and McCain voted for it.—–
SEC. 503. EXEMPTION FROM EXCISE TAX FOR CERTAIN
21 WOODEN ARROWS DESIGNED FOR USE BY
22 CHILDREN.
3 ‘‘(B) EXEMPTION FOR CERTAIN WOODEN
4 ARROW SHAFTS.—Subparagraph (A) shall not
5 apply to any shaft consisting of all natural
6 wood with no laminations or artificial means of
7 enhancing the spine of such shaft (whether sold
8 separately or incorporated as part of a finished
9 or unfinished product) of a type used in the
10 manufacture of any arrow which after its as11
sembly—
12 ‘‘(i) measures 5⁄16 of an inch or less in.
I guess the 5/16 inch shaft is what congress gives us.
Oct 1, 2008 - 8:24 pm 12. john from cinncinati:they remind me more of the band on the titanic. lets play a lively tune fellas, we want the audience to like us.
Oct 1, 2008 - 9:50 pm 13. Jake Was Here:On Election Day, I will walk into my polling place, vote for John McCain, walk out, drive out to the middle of the desert, and shoot myself in the head.
No matter what happens after November 4th, I don’t want to be there to see it.
Oct 1, 2008 - 10:43 pm 14. Will H:This bit of dialog from “Duck Soup” is even more appropriate:
Rufus T. Firefly: [to Trentino] Now, how about lending this country twenty million dollars, you old skinflint?
Ambassador Trentino: Twenty million dollars is a lot of money. I’d have to take that up with my Minister of Finance.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, in the meantime, could you let me have twelve dollars until payday?
Ambassador Trentino: Twelve dollars?
Rufus T. Firefly: Don’t be scared, you’ll get it back. I’ll give you my personal note for ninety days. If it isn’t paid by then, you can… keep the note.
Oct 2, 2008 - 4:15 am 15. harry:How about this one from Abbott and Costello:
“The more dough I gotta, the more dough I needa.”
Oct 2, 2008 - 8:29 am 16. Hillbilly Mike:How could anybody say such degrading things about the Marx brothers. I grew up watching them and Groucho and his brothers were good men.
Bozo the clown would have been a better fit for this story, or Gomer Pile, Daffy Duck, etc. ..
Oct 2, 2008 - 11:32 am 17. Marc Malone:To Lynn and Candide, we’re organizing a bailout to get you two senses of humor. Yours seems to be about bankrupt. The funny in this is the opportunity to join in the jocularity.
I like the Daffy Duck idea. The public is Elmer Fudd. The Dems are Bugs Bunny. The ‘Pubs are Daffy. Rabbit season! Duck Season! Blam! You’re dethpicable! The Dems created this mess, but they keep pasting the ‘Pubs with it. Daffy turns his beak back around and says, “Let’s try that again! Rabbit season….” Hilarious! (And I’m a ‘Pub!)
Oct 2, 2008 - 12:55 pm 18. lionheart:Was Porky the Pig wearing lipstick?
Oct 3, 2008 - 1:00 pm 19. Lynn:Marc Malone: Bailout! I don’t want no stinkin bailout! But you could get me a CENTS of humor.
Oct 3, 2008 - 1:29 pm 20. roberto:a little tribute to Marx Brothers, here:
http://www.evvivaniente.blogspot.com/
Oct 5, 2008 - 3:16 pm