Pajamas Media

99 Comments

1. DoktorNo:

We live in a world, where hysterical “yellow medias” are making room for contemplating policies unthinkable years ago.

We are putting kids into “bubble”, as author of this piece had said, we are creating more and more strict rules and institutions to enforce them. Meanwhile the common sense, decency, self-restrain, reason etc. would substitute them well.

I won’t be suprised, if in the future the police state and political correctness will be present together. Ironically, in the meantime, as Mr. Dalrymple had pointed in “City Magazine”, people in Britain are encouraged by media and liberal establishment to renouce some inhibitions…

We live in interesting times, indeed…

Dec 20, 2008 - 3:15 am 2. Marauder:

I was watching the original “Miracle on 34th Street” a couple of weeks ago and it struck me how both Fred Gailey and Kris Kringle are allowed to make friends with Susie and no one suspects them of anything. Kris even gets to sit in Susie’s room alone with her and say goodnight to her. Nowadays if there’s a scene in a movie in which an unrelated man is alone in a little girl’s room with her, there’s an uncomfortable shifting in the seats as the audience wonders whether (or, rather, when) he’s going to do something “inappropriate”.

Dec 20, 2008 - 6:21 am 3. Wacky Hermit:

My son wanted to go over and play at his friend’s house, so I talked to the friend’s mom. She said it would be all right with her, as long as it was OK with me if she left her husband in charge while she ran an errand during the time my son would be playing. I asked her why it wouldn’t be all right, and she told me some other mom of another of her son’s friends had expressed reservations about leaving her child in the care of a man. I told her that I had no objections and that I thought it was sexist (yes I used that word!) of the other mom to object.

This is a man she selected to be her husband and the father of her children, not some random guy off the street. If I didn’t trust her judgment, I wouldn’t be leaving my son with her in the first place.

Really, we women can’t cut men off from all contact with kids and then turn around and complain they don’t help us with their care. Boys and girls both need men in their lives for healthy functioning. Let’s not cut them off from that.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:08 am 4. FLMom:

It sounds like Britain is a decade or so behind the US in this issue. I recall one time in the late 80s my very kind male neighbor found a little girl left alone. He brought her to my house saying there was no way he could take her into his home. I remember times when the kids were playing at the park, swinging, and I had to give them all a push, because the dads were not about to touch another parent’s child.

So let me tell you where we are at now, so that you can be prepared for what could be coming.

Let us say a male college student has a brief relationship with a teen whom he assumed to be of legal age. In the state where I live he will not only be charged as a sex offender and face substantial prisons time, but he must remain on the sex offender registry for the rest of his life. Depending on the local laws, he may not be allowed to live within 1000 feet to ½ mile of a school, day care center or any other location where children congregate. Ever. I’m not even sure they would bury him in a cemetery that was too close to a school.

Politicians keep expanding the definition of a sex offender. In our current environment, I think a man would be crazy to take any job where he must work around children. He will immediately become a suspect.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:09 am 5. FLMom:

The sad truth is that while w are busy destroying normal and healthy interactions, the true predators will go on abusing within their own families and terrorizing their victims into silence. The predator knows how to find vulnerable women with children and manipulate them into silence. These overreactions by society that make men afraid to intervene probably increase the likelihood that predators can do their evil without detection.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:27 am 6. Tony R:

Hey Marauder, my girlfriend and I watched the same movie only last week and we both had the same reaction as yourself. The lack of insane child-smothering paranoia was a breath of fresh air.

Maybe fools like Sally Field believe that if mothers ran the world it’d be a much better place but issues like this prove just how delusional that assumption is. By “over-caring” for their children they do nothing but damage them. Its womens attitutes that need to change not mens. We’re the rapists and paedophiles remember.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:34 am 7. glenn:

Had we the courage of our convictions regarding the people who actually molest children this would probably be a non issue. When my wife and I travel in Italy and France and see the interactions between children and adults it brings home how sad it is that adults in the US are reluctant to interact with kids because of the images people can have. My Dad loved kids, he was a big, jolly, funny guy who wanted to be every kids grandad and most often succeded. Kids loved him, he made faces, mugged, and talked to them like adults when he had their attention. I’m reluctant to do the same in the US because of all the stigma attached. In society today, in spite of all the stats quoted, you simply cannot be alone with a child that you areen’t related to.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:41 am 8. LewH:

In New York city,it is against the law for an adult without children to sit in certain areas of a public park.

Dec 20, 2008 - 8:06 am 9. Mary Grabar:

Great column. It should be sent to every gender feminist who sees every man as a rapist and every person of another culture as superior.

Dec 20, 2008 - 9:15 am 10. Kevin in OK:

This article strikes a chord with me.

I once drove by a little girl sitting by the sidewalk, alone and crying. It was during school hours on a school day. My first instinct was to stop, roll down the window and ask the girl if she was alright and where her parents were. That would have been the decent thing to do. Instead I just drove on by and did nothing.

I met my coworker, Ed, a half-mile down the road. He told me that he too saw the girl and was a little concerned. Ed also chose to do nothing.

This is not the only time such an incident has happened in my life.

What have we become? The Eloi? (H.G. Wells, “The Time Machine”)

Dec 20, 2008 - 9:58 am 11. JKB:

In situations like this 911 is your friend. I faced a situation where a pre-schooler dashed out between the parked cars to open the driver’s side of a van. No one else around, no one chasing him from the shops. I couldn’t leave him in the traffic lanes on a narrow road even though someone might start shrieking accusations if I tried to intervene. I parked blocking the lane to cause any other traffic to take notice but didn’t know how I could approach the boy until I realized that regardless of any trouble it might cause the parents, the police needed to be involved. I was half way back to him and about to hit send for 911 when a woman came out of the beauty shop and snatched him up. Thankfully without any notice of me. As a man you need 911 on the line before you approach a child needing help. The recording will be very helpful in countering accusations.

Contrast this to a situation back in the ’60s where a neighbor’s toddler had a bad habit of getting in the road. Nothing worked to stop this and he was quick to escape supervision, until one day the bachelor man across the street, who lived with his sister and brother-in-law, (I know, talk about your stereotype) found the boy sitting in the road and told the boy that if he found him in the road again, he’d whack him with the 2×4 he had. The neighbor stopped by later that day to inform the boy’s father of what he had said. No crisis, no police, no suspicion but the kid stayed out of the street after that because he never knew who was watching out for him.

Dec 20, 2008 - 10:47 am 12. Bill:

I understand your point and it is a good one. But, to add balance — far from being a pedophile, I’m a pedophobe and I always used to fly Singapore Airlines upper deck precisely because they didn’t allow children up there.

Dec 20, 2008 - 11:43 am 13. Steve:

Just the other day I saw a little girl in the grocery store who was obviously lost. It’s sad that my first unconscious reaction was to let her out of my sight long enough to find a female to help out for fear of someone thinking I was abducting the child whilst I helped her try to find her parent.

Dec 20, 2008 - 11:48 am 14. K T Cat:

I’m a single dad and my house is usually the party house for the kids. My old place had a swimming pool, a big screen TV for video games and lots of rooms for sleep overs. I have to say that I never had a problem with parents letting their kids come over to hang out for any length of time at all. Admittedly, they all knew me from school and little league.

Having said that, my daughter is now entering puberty and while I take photos of her and her friends at soccer and birthday parties, I don’t take shots when they are swimming in the pool or having a sleepover. That’s just too weird.

I think the trick is to not let the mania affect you. I’ve coached girls’ soccer and boys’ baseball and I simply refuse to behave like a suspect. I don’t get treated like one, either.

Dec 20, 2008 - 11:50 am 15. Eric:

In New York city,it is against the law for an adult without children to sit in certain areas of a public park.

Hah! In one San Francisco park I know of we’re not even allowed to “loiter”. And I don’t forget it, either, when the city is asking for money to maintain the parks.

Dec 20, 2008 - 11:51 am 16. wGraves:

In 1980, I was living with my girlfriend, now my wife, in the Mission District of San Francisco. One sunny day, I was jogging below Diamond Heights when a black boy, about eight years old, stumbled out of a field of high grass, in a vacant lot, clutching his wrist. Two companions of similar age followed him out. Halfway up the steep lot, there was a makeshift rope swing in motion. I asked if anything was wrong, and the boy replied that he thought that he had broken his wrist. At first, I was skeptical, but as I examined him, he displayed a compound fracture of the ulna, with a sharp bone protruding from the flesh. Well, I told him to lie down, treated for shock by elevating the legs, and sent one of his companions for his mom. Then I borrowed a phone from an elderly woman in an adjacent row house and called 911 for an ambulance. I was informed that emergency services didn’t respond for fractures. When I asked about compound fractures, they showed more interest, but warned me that I had better not be lying. The companion returned reporting that the mother refused to come. “She said, what’s the matter with his legs, did he break them too, tell him to walk home.” The companion informed me that “He mama don’ like him much.” You could see it in his eyes that the companion was right and that he was distressed by the assertion. I told the companion kid to go back and tell the mom that an adult said she had to come, he couldn’t be moved without a splint. The ambulance arrived and put the kid in an air splint. The mom then showed up complaining that she was too busy to go to the hospital. I had to yell at her to get her to go to the hospital and sign the treatment release.

Occasionally, I wonder what has become of that poor little boy. What a mess. Today, I think I would still have to have helped in a similar situation, but I would be a lot more worried about the consequences.

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:05 pm 17. SamIam:

Sorry, Arab/Muslim culture IS institutionalized pedophilia. Old Mo’ himself set the example along with the tendency to slaughter infidels as a tenet of the ‘religion’.

The current western trend of slamming men, (white men in particular of course), of which dividing them from children by reversing their roles from protectors to victimizers, is part of the strategies included in cultural-Marxism designed to weaken and destroy us from within. It’s about destroying any patriarchal aspects of society and replacing it with a matriarchal structure and tearing down the basic things that helped make the West a success.

Look to the Frankfurt school and Marcuse for more information on this. Marriage penalties, welfare systems discourageing marriage, expansion of the definition of marriage to deviancy(homosexual marriage)delegitimizing it, constant media portrayals of men in commercials and movies (again, usually white men of course) as bumblers or worse and a molester behind every tree –these are all part of cultural Marxism too. The constant drumbeat over years has the desired effect and attitudes and mores change. It’s not an accident, it’s a campaign.

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:10 pm 18. Mary Jackson:

It is so sad – completely understandable, but sad – that men posting here have said they are wary about helping a child. But that’s society’s fault.

The urge to comfort a child who is lost or hurt, or indeed to save a child from danger, is a natural one. If our society sees it – in men at least – as perverted, then it is society that is perverted.

Would any real pervert or paedophile accost a child in a park? No, he – or indeed she – would do it behind closed doors, which makes the hysteria so misplaced.

Recently I waited to pay at a busy petrol station. A harassed mother momentarily let go of her child – a girl of around three or four – who bolted. I caught hold of her and handed her back. The mother was very grateful – had I not done so, she could have run into the busy road and been killed. Would the mother have been as grateful had I been a man? I hope so. Or would she rather her little girl was killed than touched – not touched up, but merely touched – by a man? Surely not.

Rod Liddle writes on this madness in The Spectator:

In Santa’s grotto at a top London department store, Santa in his big white friendly beard sits on a bench — and there is a large ‘X’ marked on the bench a couple of feet away where the child is firmly directed to sit, allowing a wide corridor of clear and unsullied air between the child and the potential kiddie-fiddler from the North Pole, with his red cheeks, strange reindeer and unaccountable affection for children. Santa is not allowed to touch the child. The child is not allowed to touch Santa. Happy Christmas, war is over. This is where we are now.

Read it all – and weep for the mad world we now live in.

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:11 pm 19. Just Some Guy:

Hear, hear. A good friend of mine has been teaching kids in public schools for 25+ years, and he confirms that he wouldn’t dare deal with kids today the way he was accustomed (and still thinks proper) in the past. Being currently semi-retired, I briefly considered going into teaching myself, but I’m a man…no way that’s gonna happen.

Then again, maybe I and other men like me should be stronger, like my friend and the other male teachers I’ve encountered. They damned the torpedos. Are we not men?

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:15 pm 20. Johnc:

When I complimented a little boy on the arts project he was carrying home from school, he ran away screaming “Stranger! Stranger!”
Sigh.
Well, I can’t really blame his parents. That kid won’t be tricked into someone’s van. But it sure does suck we’ve let the psychos define our society like this.

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:15 pm 21. momof3:

Having 3 young girls, and parents who were a bit overstrict (I was virtually never allowed to stay the night anywhere but our own home) I struggle with this myself. I minored in criminology. I know that statistically, the person who would hurt them is me or one of my relatives. I try to let my kids have freedom to not be right next to me every second. I arm them with “no one touches your vulva, bottom or boobs” and “no one should ever ask you to keep a secret from mommy, and no one could ever hurt mommy” to counteract the unthinkable. I still worry.

I get uneasy when we’re at McD’s, in the play area, and there’s a lone guy sitting in there. Why would a man be in there with no kids? There are other seats. So I try to determine if he’s open to conversation or not. Someone who just loves kids will tell the parent compliments and chat. I feel that someone there as a perv would not want to talk. I might be wrong. I did have an friend with daughters about mine’s age, who was in a similar situation, guy watching her kids play. She thought nothing of it, until as she was loading her kids an employee ran out and told her not to go home. The guy had followed them out, and was lurking in his running truck waiting for her to leave. When she stepped out to look, he pealed off over a curb. Scary.

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:16 pm 22. tim maguire:

Ditto the 34th Street observations–it struck me as well. But KT Cat has a good point too–we generally acquiesce in this insult because it’s easier, but it would be healthier for society for us to not shy away from the confrontations. Do the right thing and put the busybody in her place when necessary. You won’t get arrested (in your day to day life–I still don’t recommend a man become a teacher).

Dec 20, 2008 - 12:28 pm 23. DavidN:

I used to know a public school teacher (Junior High, middle school for those of you from outside California; the individual is now deceased) who carried an enormous bunch of keys hanging from his belt when he walked around his school’s buildings. This was because, on occasion, he was alone, and he had once come upon a pair of the little darlings having sex in the hallway. The children (they were 13 or 14) immediately got out of trouble by alleging that my friend was a child molester, and had made them do what they were doing. It of course damaged his reputation at the school, even though eventually he was exonerated. The big ring of keys, he figured, rattled and jingled loudly enough that kids would hear him, put their clothes on, and flee, so that he didn’t have to deal with the situation again. It doesn’t really matter what we think of the situation, and it doesn’t really matter what’s written about it: until someone changes the bureaucratic mindset, we’re stuck with this. Frankly, I don’t see that happening, any time soon.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:13 pm 24. Roy M:

First thing, It’s much easier to do the right thing in these situations if we have thought about them in advance. If you are man who is too scared to help a child because of the fear of being labelled a peadophile then think about alternatives, like for instance, phoning the police then helping. The point is either decide you ae going to directly help children in distress, come what may, or have a plan B, and use it.

Secondly, I think it is entirley reasonable that an airline have a strict rule against Boris Johnson sitting next to children. I really don’t see the problem. They might have told him it applied to everyone to spare his feelings.

Lastly, the last paragraph about muslims didn’t seem to fit the rest of the article. It was almost as if Mary got to the end of the peice and then noticed she hadn’t traduced Muslims yet. She begins about the problems caused by the irrational fear of peadophiles and somehow ended it in full tabloid headline fearmongering mode “MUSLIM PEADOS!” (or on a bad day “MUSLIM PEADO’S!”). The facts, as always, paint a more complicated picture. For example, the age of consent in Iran is 18. The age of consent in the Vatican City is 12.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:17 pm 25. Jeff:

momof3, nice story. So you let an anecdotal story told to you by a friend where she was warned by a hysterical, minimum wage McDonald’s employee guide your actions?

There you have it folks, our current problem demonstrated so well by momof3. Thanks for making that man into a pervert because he was sitting in his damn truck, eating his burger and minding his own business.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:23 pm 26. PA Cat:

Just ask any male member of the clergy how this hysteria affects his relationships with his congregants. When I was a kid, my parents thought nothing of allowing my pastor to pick me up at the house on his way to the church for meetings of the youth group. From what my male clergy friends tell me, a lot of parents would question them these days if they offered to save the parents an extra trip to the church. It isn’t just a Christian problem, either– I have a Jewish friend who is very active in his synagogue and helps the rabbi prepare the kids for their bar or bas mitzvah. He says that he and the rabbi have to be increasingly careful with the kids so that the parents don’t worry. No hugs any more when a kid does well with his or her Hebrew lesson. It’s so sad for all of us.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:26 pm 27. Grace D.:

My husband is no longer alive, but when our children were young, he would not take female teen babysitter home in the car. Also, he was friendly, but said he no longer spoke with children nor did he smile at them.Actually he avoided contact. It is so very sad, don’t you think? So, this is not new, this occurred maybe 30 to 35 years ago.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:47 pm 28. Mary Jackson:

I think it is entirley reasonable that an airline have a strict rule against Boris Johnson sitting next to children.

You’re joking, surely? Why is it reasonable?

In fact, the children were his own, but so what if they weren’t?

As for the Muslim point, one of the first things Ayatollah Khomeini did when he took over in Iran in 1979 was to lower the age of “consent” for girls to “marriage” from 16 to nine. Yes, nine. This was the age that Aisha was when the “prophet” Mohammed raped her – sorry, consummated the “marriage”. And paedophilia has been institutionalised in Islam ever since. It is rife in Britain under the guise of forced “marriage”. The paedophile rape institutionalised in Islam is a far more serious – and widespread – problem than men talking to little girls in parks.

In 2002, this age of “consent” was raised to 13. Wow. Progress.

Dec 20, 2008 - 1:48 pm 29. Dr. Lumplevin:

After seeing all the wars, rape, and aggressiveness in male society, it is a good thing that we separate men from children. The feminization of males and the contigent masculinization of females is likely a beneficial evolutionary phenomena that will ensure the future of our species.

As long as we can keep the breeding process happening.

Dec 20, 2008 - 2:05 pm 30. Society:

“It is so sad – completely understandable, but sad – that men posting here have said they are wary about helping a child. But that’s society’s fault.”

I am not to blame, Mary Jackson. Look to women and women-worshippers for your fault-finding.

Dec 20, 2008 - 2:25 pm 31. Tennwriter:

I”ve frequently been the lone guy with a SF book in a McDonald’s playland. That’s because my two boys are running around inside the ‘habittrail for kids’ and when they come back, I tend to tell them to eat a bite, and go play. Sometimes they don’t play and sit with me, but I generally want them to go play, after all, that’s why I came there in the first place.

Dec 20, 2008 - 2:32 pm 32. brt:

These concerns are too little, too late.

I won’t think twice about drawing a weapon to save a bunch of strangers from a crazed gunman. But helping a child who is obviously lost or in need of help? In most cases – hell no. Making up for their shoddy parenting is not worth my job or personal freedom.

Society has made its choice, couldn’t that choice any time soon even if they wanted to, and it is no longer my problem.

Believe it or not it is actually unlawful where I live for an adult to talk to a minor that they do not know in public. Seriously. I’ve seen police officers show up and detain people for it at public venues when adults asked misbehaving children to stop doing something.

Dec 20, 2008 - 3:43 pm 33. Justin Q.:

While I feel this article rings true as do most of the comments, I have yet to see anyone mention other possible reasons why this societal attitude is perpetuated. About 5 years ago when I was in school, I spent a lot of time playing online games with chat features. It’s very safe to say that at least 95% of those posting comments were male. I was constantly surprised at the amount and depth of disgusting (especially sexually oriented) dialogue that was posted in those games. Additionally, take into account the stereotypical college male raving in sex, alcohol, and irresponsibility. I wouldn’t want a single one of those guys near my (future) children. I recently overheard an acquaintance who coaches a High School girls sport say that most of his friends ask him if any of his girls are “sexy”.

There are a lot of disgusting men out there, men who will probably never commit an act of child abuse, none the less, they should be kept far from children.

Dec 20, 2008 - 3:50 pm 34. Wrightman:

The disease is called moral panic against men. It’s not a natural disease, it’s an engineered condition. It psychological method was described by George Orwell. Its tactics come from militant feminism and the hangers-on, such as social workers, teachers’ colleges, and divoce lawyers.
Until men shut down the male-bashing establishment, purging the bureaucracy and the educational system, this will get worse and worse.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:14 pm 35. bobby b:

My father, for his entire career, was a teacher of sixth-graders. He was always one of the most popular teachers with both kids and parents, and was usually the most-requested teacher at the start of each year.

I remember quite a few years ago (I’m in my forties, now, for context) watching him in his classroom. (I could do that, as I attended that same school for first through sixth grades, and then worked there for a bit during high school.)

When he was at his desk up front and the class was at their work or reading or whatever, there would always be a circle of students around him, and he’d be explaining things to some, and conversing about other topics with others, and the students would be leaning against him, or they’d be draped over his shoulder reading what he was reading – they would be constantly touching him in some fashion, and he’d be tousling their hair, or he’d have a hand on someone’s shoulder . . .

You could see that many of the kids needed that physical contact and took huge comfort and security from it, and that they naturally felt that it was okay to seek and recieve that from him, because it was just the friendly, comforting way he was.

In the later years of his career, though, as we entered into the prime age of fear-mongering and lawsuits, he saw too many of his friends get into trouble, or at least be spoken about cautiously, because of some physical contact with a child. The union would put on seminars about it (”don’t ever, ever, ever touch . . .”) and the district would send out newsletter to parents telling them to report any suspicious contact immediately.

He said the kids still obviously yearned for that same level of physical contact that used to be acceptable and desired, that you could see kids walk up and look like they were about to hug a teacher or lean on a teacher and the teacher would have to quickly move to rebuff the contact – and my dad said it was the resulting hurt on the kids’ faces and the widening distance between them all that eventually overcame his love for teaching and made retirement easier to accept.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:16 pm 36. Acksiom:

Mary’s advice on mental self-preparation is good and should be followed, but it should not be considered sufficient. I also recommend acquiring at the very least a digital voice recorder, and preferably a small digital video camera, and most preferably, one that can be worn facing your line-of-sight. Then, when you mentally prepare, include turning on the recorder and putting it on.

Yes, it seems ridiculous for a grown man to wear a digital camera in self-defense, but the ability to record oneself and one’s surroundings for protective purposes is becoming a modern-day safety necessity. The justice system appears to have given up on sensibly punishing false accusers for their criminal behavior, so we have to adapt.

Of course, people in general object far less to women carrying and wearing digital recorders. Mainly because they falsely believe that women (A) are more at risk of and subject to criminal violence, when in fact it is men and boys who are far more often targeted, and (B) should not have to take on the normal adult responsibilities for both self-defense and the defense of others that are expected exclusively of men.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:18 pm 37. Rich:

My story goes back to the mid 1980’s.

I live in the Boston area and was at a local mall. While walking along I saw a kid (probably about 2) come racing out
of one of the stores about 100 feet ahead of me. The little girl turned and ran in the opposite direction from me.

Now, obviously, what happened was that Mom or Dad was distracted (probably at the checkout) and the kid took off.

I decided that I would go after the kid and shepherd her back to the store. I started but then stopped realizing that if I did that I would possibly wind up being accused of snatching her in the first place. Undecided about what to do, I just kept walking along at my normal pace. About 20 seconds later a woman comes running out of the store with a frantic look on her face, looking back and forth trying to find the kid.

When she looked in my direction I made a very exaggerated pointing motion in the kid’s direction. She waved a thanks and headed that way. A minute or so later I saw her come back dragging one very pissed off kid.

It’s great that it worked out, but what a shame that trying to do the decent thing could land you in legal trouble and have you branded for life as a sex offender.

As a previous commenter remarked we’ve allowed our society to be defined by the worst among us.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:18 pm 38. Acksiom:

Er, Roy M’s advice, I mean. Sorry about that, Roy.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:20 pm 39. Mary Jackson:

Just imagine that you’re a ten-year-old child, being abused by your stepfather with the connivance of your mother, or vice versa. Who do you tell? You can’t talk to any adult outside the family because they could be a pervert.

Madness.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:52 pm 40. J.Murray:

I think that a first step in addressing this problem is to confront the institutional interests that promote such assumptions. The claim, or implication, that most men will molest children when given the opportunity seems to have arisen initially from Feminists and was codified among like-minded practitioners within the social work and public health establishments.

The early molestation scares (e.g. McMartin preschool ), in the US, coincided with the rise of a particularly strident and paranoid form of Feminism that described gender relations in the terms of sexual abuse and physical intimidation. These were seen as mechanisms for social control of women which were exacted deliberately by men towards this end. This was the era of the ‘Rape Culture’ during which it was argued that rape and molestation were not social aberrations, but commonplace and in fact approved means of expressing mens’ social dominance.

An aspect of this model was the claim that male sexual abuse, in pursuit of social dominance, commonly extended to daughters. Incest was ‘Wife Training’. Fathers were believed to frequently molest their daughters to condition them for their future subjugation to their husbands. This extension of the sexual abuse x social dominance nexus seems to have laid the groundwork for a more generalized belief that men will seek to sexually abuse all female children.

While such ideas are no longer as prominent among Feminists, they do still have significant import in the social work and public health communities. Many individuals working and teaching in these fields received their training during the ascendancy of such theories. You’ll find their expression in the assumptions they employ when framing policies and social programs. Also these beliefs tend to affect the prioritization of research and advocacy which then amplifies the public perception of there being a pervasive and increasing trend of sexual abuse.

Unfortunately these affects are often self-reinforcing. The promotion of pandemic child molestation breeds calls for intervention, which brings more funding, which finances further research and advocacy confirming the perceived trend.

Dec 20, 2008 - 4:59 pm 41. bobby b:

I think we’re missing something basic here.

Men aren’t avoiding kids because everyone else might conclude a man is a pedophile if he interacts with them.

Men are avoiding kids because it is far too easy, and sometimes far too profitable, for a kid, or the parent of a kid, to make an lying accusation – “he touched me, right here!” – either to get the kid out of some trouble, or to get back at someone, or to get a shot at big bucks in our wonderful tort system where, these days, it is entirely possible to get dragged into court with such an accusation, and, with absolutely no proof beyond the kid repeating his accusation, you can be forced to hand over everything you own and everything you might earn for years to the lying little brat.

And insurance generally doesn’t cover such allegations. Better be preparede to hand about $40,000.00 to a defense lawyer, in up-front cash, before you can start getting a defense together.

Nope, it’s simply too much of a life-crashing devastation, with a standard of proof lower than it takes to prove you were speeding in your car.

Thank the lawyers.

Dec 20, 2008 - 6:06 pm 42. SDN:

OT: when I entered this page, something on it attempted to download malware to my system.

Dec 20, 2008 - 6:15 pm 43. SadUncle:

This thread reminds me of a very sad conversation I had with my niece last spring when she graduated from high school and I flew in to be there. I’d always encouraged her in her academics and pursuits (she was a nationally-ranked Irish Dancer, the expenses largely funded by me–her mother is not making much).
A few days later she invited me out to lunch, which turned out to be a picnic lunch at a park she liked to go with her friends. She told me she appreciated all I had done for her and that I had always been supportive and encouraging, but…why did I never take her places when she was a kid? Why did I always shake her hand when we met instead of a hug?
I had to explain that when a young girl is a cute as she was (seriously, model-quality looks) it is simply not possible for a single male to be alone with her or physical with her in any way. She had been deeply saddened by the situation and she said she bitterly regrets it, as we got along so well. She joked it was pretty pathetic that some of the best times we’d had were when I was at the kitchen table helping her with her math and physics homework. But after I spent some time explaining it, she reluctantly understood, although she was furious at the system that “robbed her of a relationship with her only uncle.”
And I regretted it, too. She’s a wonderful kid, always has been. Psychopathic fear over the possibility of an event that occurs once in 1000 times at most, denies the proper adult friendships and healthy physical contacts necessary for proper mental and emotional development for the other 999. Anyone think that isolation might have damaging effects as well? No wonder modern kids, raised in a cocoon, are often lacking in common sense. If the world around you as you grow up has been designed to be all but risk-free, when you wander out on your own one can expect disaster…and we get it.
And as has been pointed out above, a lone kid, lost or whatever, is not my problem any more. Maybe if they were in clear and imminent danger of immediate physical harm…but I’d want to make sure there were witnesses. Dial 911? No way. They’ll trace it to your phone.
And I, too, was told to move away from a playground in a park. I was waiting for my wife to finish playing with our dog in the nearby field, and had moved to a bench closer to the playground just to get out of the wind. A cop was called by one of the mothers and informed me that if none of the kids were mine, I was require by law to stay 75 feet away.
And to yank a minor from a airplane seat next to an adult male is insulting and discriminatory in the extreme. I’d have my lawyer on their ass. After all, 30% to 40% of all molesters are women (google it).
A generation of kids are growing up with no father in the house, and carefully isolated from any real male role models. Where do they find them instead? MTV. Rap. Movies. Ideal male role models for your kids, don’t you think?
But hey! We’ve saved them from a 1/1000 chance of meeting the kiddy-diddlers.

Dec 20, 2008 - 6:35 pm 44. Mike S:

As soon as society gets serious about locking up pedophiles, I will stop teaching my girls’ to treat every man as a threat. My wife and girls were accosted by a flasher/mastrubator in Balboa Park, San Diego, two years ago. We later learned the Park attracts the local pervs beacuse of the zoo, gardens, and children’s museums create a target rich environment. The previous year, they were in the Monterey Aquarium when one daughter wandered around the corner from my wife. When my wife rounded the corner, an middle age man had crowded up behind my five year old girl in the empty room. He fled the premises by time my wife found a guard. Hang a few pedophiles and then we will talk. (Unfortunately, I cannot talk her into a concealed carry permit.)

Dec 20, 2008 - 6:39 pm 45. Marauder:

“Just ask any male member of the clergy how this hysteria affects his relationships with his congregants.”

Ohhhhhh, yes. I was doing confirmation classes right after the whole child-molesting priests scandal first broke, and when we had this dinner where we invited our sponsors, the priest spent a huge chunk of his opening talk telling us how he had never molested anyone. It was really, really uncomfortable. I never thought he had molested anyone, but I can see why, given the climate, he felt he had to make that clear.

That thing about the kids who have to sit on the X and can’t sit on Santa’s lap is really sad. Makes me [i]really[/i] wish things were still like in “Miracle on 34th Street”.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:04 pm 46. Mike T:

As soon as society gets serious about locking up pedophiles, I will stop teaching my girls’ to treat every man as a threat.

As soon as society gets serious about locking up black criminals, I will stop teaching my kids to treat every black man as a threat.

Doesn’t sound intelligent or decent when I narrow the scope from all men, down to a very large subset of men that is as otherwise diverse as the rest of the male population, does it?

How about you teach your daughters to not associate with people that your family doesn’t know? How about you teach them the warning signs of a pedophile who is trying to groom them, which are pretty well documented? Even better, why don’t you try to teach them discernment about character, which is something that will serve them well in life.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:45 pm 47. Mike T:

I think it would help if men would strongly stand up for themselves when accused of being sexual predators for bring a kid back to the store they ran out of and other situations. A good tongue-lashing, that brings all eyes onto the mother, would be a good start. Even if it means demonizing the woman and abjectly humiliating her, it’s justified if she fires that first shot. Dare I say it? Even go so far as to be cruel to her, accusing her of being such an unfit mother that were it not for you, God only knows who would have ended up walking away with her child because she cares so little about the child’s safety that she let the child get into harm’s way.

Dec 20, 2008 - 7:50 pm 48. Benson:

Amazing. Did no one read comment 29?

And this thread grew long before anyone identified the ultimate source of the problem. Number 40 nails it. Again, as with 29, nobody remarks on it.

In the land of the blind, the sighted are…freaks.

Dec 20, 2008 - 8:40 pm 49. Brock:

Eh, screw it. As a man it is the first duty to protect those I am stronger than from coming to harm. And the desire to fulfill that duty is no perversion; and I’m fine with repeating that fact to anyone, under any circumstances.

I suppose that I am lucky in that when I am smiling, which I always am when dealing with dogs or children, the smile is wide and open. No one has ever mistaken its meaning. But should that misunderstanding ever come, I shall cheerfully inform that deluded soul that if I must choose between dealing with their idiodicy and letting a child come to harm, I can sleep peacefully at night with the former quite easily and the latter not at all.

Dec 20, 2008 - 9:06 pm 50. Jack:

bobby b,

In the situation you describe (false accusations), the plaintiff’s lawyer is a tool, nothing more. He (or she) is not the one who started the lawsuit. And the defendant’s lawyer should be your hero.

So sure, blame the lawyers. If you’re a moron.

Dec 20, 2008 - 11:28 pm 51. Kevin:

Most sexual assault perpetrated against children comes from family members. After working as a social worker and in adolescent mental health for the last decade, I feel like most children would be safer in the company of strangers than with their own family.

Dec 21, 2008 - 12:55 am 52. Jeff:

At the risk of giving the idiotic Dr. Lumplevin more attention than it deserves, think its statement sums up the bludgeon that the feminists have been using for years to trash men. I suppose if one cannot raise oneself up, one must bring others down.

“After seeing all the wars, rape, and aggressiveness in male society, it is a good thing that we separate men from children. The feminization of males and the contigent masculinization of females is likely a beneficial evolutionary phenomena that will ensure the future of our species.”

Not a speck of truth anywhere in the entire statement. You should be ashamed of your lying and the effect it has had on our society.

Dec 21, 2008 - 7:06 am 53. GK:

As Islam spreads in the West, it will be interesting to see the clash between Islam and feminists/gay advocates. My money is on Islam…

Dec 21, 2008 - 9:51 am 54. GK:

I tell you, Western society is finished (outside of the rural US and Australia).

Asian societies, while still poor, seem more likely to ultimately find the right balance between economic prosperity and social/moral sanity.

Dec 21, 2008 - 9:57 am 55. Mack:

Jeff:

Lumplevin’s a nitwit who’s neglected to consider the affects of differential hormonal feminization across populations. Feminized males come to resemble females in many ways, including their inability to produce sperm. So a significant affect of feminization is infertility. But not all populations experience feminization, and most won’t choose to. So they’ll continue to grow. The result would likely be an increase in war and depredation as these fertile populations sought to overthrow the feminized ones.

Dec 21, 2008 - 11:05 am 56. Marie Claude:

#51, it ’s also true over here, not only in families, but also in professions that are related to education, sport, leasures. It’s rare that a child abuser is an “unknown” criminal, though it happens sometimes, then this kind of person is a mental pervert that has criminal attempts other than with children.

What I read here doesn’t give a pleasant view of the american way of living ; up to now, we are not confronted to these radical comportments. May-be because we hadn’t to move to different places to get a job, that we still know our neighbours and their life story, but this is changing with the free circulation among the EU

Dec 21, 2008 - 11:30 am 57. Roy M:

I WAS joking about Boris Johnson. But now I realize that I would pay a premium to an airline that could guarantee that Boris Johnson wouldn’t be sitting next to my children, or me. I will take care at check-in from now on, “Could you confirm that my seat is not next to Boris Johnson?” (In fact I’ll probably make a list.)

I was wrong about the age of consent for girls in Iran; the correct age is, as Mary observed, 13. This is one year older than the age of consent in the Vatican City, and one year older than the age of the youngest girls (or boys) with which Americans abroad, can have ‘consensual’ sex and not be guilty of a crime at home. I am not sure of the precise connection between these examples of cultural pedophilia and Islam.

I think that one way to learn to appreciate feminism is to visit pre-feminist societies. Very grim indeed for all concerned, but especially women. Good societies need a certain amount of feminism to exist. Even then, sexual abuse, of young girls in particular, is still pretty common. Between 5 to 10% of girls suffer the very worst kinds of sexual abuse. Three times this number suffer some kind of abuse. (ref: Gilbert R et al. 2008, Burden and consequences of child maltreatment in high-income countries, Lancet doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(08)61706-7.) It is pretty clear that some harsh words about men from some feminists is a reasonable response to this burden of abuse, and a response that non-abusers should be able to handle with some understanding and good grace.

Dec 21, 2008 - 11:48 am 58. Chris:

There is a boatload of bad data and bad policy being spread around like fertilizer by not-disinterested groups. A friend of mine, an educated grad student/teacher, told me once that one-third of all girls would be sexually assaulted at some point in their childhood. Bollocks.

This policy of Every Man A Perv has consequences. Several years ago in my city there was a case of 2 or 3 very young and unescorted children crossing a very busy highway during rush hour. No one seemed to question it. Those who did either thought “Not my responsibility” or else “I don’t want to be thought a perv.” The kids tried to cross the street. They were hit and killed, all of them. Good thing they weren’t approached by a potential perv, though.

Then there are the 19-20 year old young men who get branded pervs for life, pictures posted on the Net, for having sex with their 16-17 year old girlfriends. Simply wrong.

As for Kevin’s statement that most sexual assault comes from family members – true, but children are far more likely to be molested by their stepfathers than by their fathers.

Dec 21, 2008 - 11:51 am 59. Loyola:

This silliness could only be written by a woman. Your male friend is absolutely right. If some crazy kid says anything bad about you and you are a man, you are guilty. 57.8 percent of perpetrators are women but men are always guilty. Get over it!

Dec 21, 2008 - 12:11 pm 60. Evil Pundit:

Roy M, you cited The Lancet. That is a journal with no credibility, well known for publishing articles based on dodgy statistics for political purposes.

Dec 21, 2008 - 1:01 pm 61. Evil Pundit:

Here’s an interesting data point.

RIYADH (AFP) – A Saudi court has rejected a plea to divorce an eight-year-old girl married off by her father to a man who is 58, saying the case should wait until the girl reaches puberty, a lawyer involved told AFP.

Dec 21, 2008 - 1:32 pm 62. Chris in Toronto:

SamIAm @17 is exactly right. This is one of the bricks in the collectivist left’s arsenal of cultural warfare. It is aimed squarely at males having any adjunct role as mentors or friends to children. It’s aim is to undermine the society by turning off the “urge to do right” that so many men have spoken of here. It’s all just one more step in Gramsci’s “long march through the institutions”.

Dec 21, 2008 - 1:46 pm 63. GK:

#9 wrote : ” It should be sent to every gender feminist who sees every man as a rapist and every person of another culture as superior.”

Indeed. But we all know that leftists never read anything that won’t agree with their pre-conceived notions.

The real solution to multiple problems is to get feminists and gay radicals to start interacting with radical Muslims and Sharia Law. That will cause some adjustments.

Dec 21, 2008 - 3:16 pm 64. Brian in P E South Africa:

I was in Cape Town recently for an airshow.There were cheaper tickets available at the tourism office in Hout Bay which is in a semi rural setting with restuarants,small tourist-trappy stores,and a play ground.The tourism office was closed with a sign stating that it would re-open in a while.My sister in law left me to wait while she went to collect her daughter from friends.I kept my camera bag with me as I didn’t want to leave it in the car due to our high crime rate in S A.I wandered around the stores,marking time,when two women rushed into the store I was in and accused me of taking photographs of the children in the park.I was astounded as I had only been there about 10 minutes and in the stores all that time.I asked them if they were accusing me of being a paedophile or what?Having brought the matter out into the open,I think they realized how ridiculously they were acting,and they left.On reflection I got a bit chipped that a man,who happens to have a camera,can be subjected to such an accusation.What kind of world are we living in that I have to justify myself to strangers because I happen to be male.

An accusation like this by these two women is as bad as accusing me of racism in this country,as the onus is on me to refute it.The problem is I can’t because I am male and white.Thus,automatically,in this brave new world,a white man is a pervert and a racist whatever he may say or do.

Dec 21, 2008 - 3:36 pm 65. Mack:

It is pretty clear that some harsh words about men from some feminists is a reasonable response to this burden of abuse, and a response that non-abusers should be able to handle with some understanding and good grace.

Roy, I think that it’s fair to say that the current situation is well beyond the ‘harsh words’ stage.

Also the abuse statistic you cite is higher than the typical proportional incidence of rape for entire populations. Are you sure that isn’t some other, more subjective, estimate?

Dec 21, 2008 - 4:02 pm 66. Sullihan:

Earlier this year, when, on a public street, I was seen talking to my 12 year old son, (he and a friend became lost trying to bike to school and my son had called me on his cell phone), someone copied my license number and called the police. The next day a very large, muscular, and deadly serious policeman (well armed and at least 30 years my junior) appeared at my front door to investigate this “incident”. My first thought was of the the guy this same police force had tasered and thrown in jail because he had failed to take seriously their investigation of an incident where he had been seen asking a 12 year old girl directions to a park. So instead of getting annoyed I explained in excruciating detail what I had been up to. i am sure the officer spent the better part of that day running down my story and writing his report.

Two points: 1)When I tell this story, the fathers of my kids friends all agree that it shows a real waste of city resources, while all the moms, after expressing sympathy, all say: “But aren’t you glad to know that people are watching out for your kids.” And 2) There are a lot a marginal people who struggle to stay on the right side of the law. The type of “investigation” I went through could easily set them off. And, sure enough, recently someone called 911 to report a man apparently drinking a beer in a parked car with a baby in a car seat (not a crime to my knowledge). Hours later when the car was found and pulled over for an officer to “investigate” this incident, the driver turned a semi-automatic on the officer and killed him. So now the next time I am reported talking with a child, I will expect two officers, with back up, (if not the SWAT team), at my door.

Dec 21, 2008 - 9:36 pm 67. bobby b:

“And the defendant’s lawyer should be your hero. . . .So sure, blame the lawyers. If you’re a moron.”

– - – -

I’m a defense lawyer. Now go back and read what I typed.

Moron.

Dec 21, 2008 - 11:58 pm 68. Roy M:

Mack,

I did a back-of-an-envelope calculation to see if the ‘entire pouplation’ measure of serious sexual assult really is seriuosly inconsistent with the Lancet paper. Turns out that the Lancet number of 5 – 10% is consistent with the whole population measure. Serious sexual assult against women and girls is not that rare.

This is from the British Crime survey.

Looking at crime recorded by police in Britain: about 45000 ‘most serious’ sexual assults out of a population of 30 million women. This is 0.15% of the population per year. Over the length of childhood (16 years) this is equivalent to approximately to 2.4% of girls becoming a victim [assuming 0.15% is an annual probability (p) of becoming a victim and using 1-(1-p)^n with n=16].

Remember that this is based on crimes reported to police. Sexual assults are under-reported to the Police.

Dec 22, 2008 - 1:26 am 69. Barry 0351:

Having been denied all contact with my grandchildren due to the divorce of my son and his EX-wife I can relate to this very well. When the boys do come over I stand back and stay out of the way. This makes my wife angry and she doesn’t understand why I am not doing the Paw Paw thing anymore, It’s because a woman who is their mother told me I was a bad influence on her children and ordered Me to stay away. It’s not me because at the birth of the oldest she stated her mother would not ever see her children because her mother took her car away from her once. The next on the hit list was my mother, their great grandmother then it was me and the wife. Now that the son is back from Iraq we see them when he does every two weeks for a few hours. But I stand back and have nothing to add, teach or learn from my own flesh and blood.
I’m just not a Paw Paw anymore.
The Grandson’s don’t understand the whole mess at all.

Dec 22, 2008 - 8:33 am 70. Dennis:

You don’t even have to initiate contact.

A few years ago, my wife and I were in a mall during the Christmas season. I was on drill status, so was wearing my army uniform.

A small girl, running through a shop, careened into me and fell down. I picked her up only to face her mother screaming, “Get away from her or I’ll call the police!”

She grabbed her daughter and left the store; you can just imagine how that would have played out had a call actually been made.

Dec 22, 2008 - 9:02 am 71. Peter the Sub Guy:

20. Johnc wrote:
When I complimented a little boy on the arts project he was carrying home from school, he ran away screaming “Stranger! Stranger!”

Peter replies: The really sad part is most likely the kid told his parents about the suspicious stranger that tried to kidnap him as soon as he got home that day. Putting that level of paranoia into kids is no better than letting them loose in a room full of registered sex-offenders. Kids growing up to see evil in every little shadow. I fear what this world will be like in 10, 20, 50 years…

Dec 22, 2008 - 10:56 am 72. Peter the Sub Guy:

28. Mary Jackson wrote:
I think it is entirley reasonable that an airline have a strict rule against Boris Johnson sitting next to children.
You’re joking, surely? Why is it reasonable?
In fact, the children were his own, but so what if they weren’t?

Peter replies: If an airline employee told me I could not sit next to my own child because I was male, my next question would be where could I find the phone number of a good lawyer, because I would be suing that airline for (as far as I am concerned) trying to purposely seperate me from my child for nefarious purposes.

I was a single parent (male with a daughter) for several years. I fortunately never had a bad experience with anyone questioning me about my relationship with her, but there were times (particularly at malls and fast food restaurants) where I noticed eyes watching me suspiciously. And I always made sure to carry something in my wallet that proved she was indeed my daughter.

Dec 22, 2008 - 11:07 am 73. Peter the Sub Guy:

36. Acksiom wrote:
Mary’s advice on mental self-preparation is good and should be followed, but it should not be considered sufficient. I also recommend acquiring at the very least a digital voice recorder, and preferably a small digital video camera, and most preferably, one that can be worn facing your line-of-sight. Then, when you mentally prepare, include turning on the recorder and putting it on.

Peter replies: That only compounds the problem to a great degree. I have heard (through friends that still live there) that NYC has imposed a law making it illegal to take pictures of children not your own. Wearing a camera to protect yourself could only be opening yourself up to even greater punishment and lawsuits.

Dec 22, 2008 - 11:14 am 74. Peter the Sub Guy:

47. Mike T wrote:
A good tongue-lashing, that brings all eyes onto the mother, would be a good start. Even if it means demonizing the woman and abjectly humiliating her

Peter replies: Unfortunately, in some of the situations I have heard, this behavior is all the more likely to cause an accusation that the man who tried to help the child was actually trying to abduct the child as a way of getting the spotlight off their own inadequacies.

Dec 22, 2008 - 11:40 am 75. jonesy55:

Wow, it sounds like the US is even worse than the UK for this. It’s an extremely dumb social phenomenon, one that we try to ignore as a family, there are many men with whom I would be happy to entrust my children and they would with me. You have to fight against this type of nonsense by doing things like helping lost kids and pointing out to anybody who complains how stupid they are.

Dec 22, 2008 - 12:06 pm 76. Robert:

I can remember two incidents (off the top of my head) where I was with my older son in public, where he fell down and hurt himself, slightly. His pain threshold can be measured in nanonmeters, so he was shrieking like a gutshot panther. On both occasions, although I was right there, speaking to him comfortingly and rendering assistance, helpful passersby stopped and asked me, ‘Are his parents nearby?’

Meaning his mother, of course. The idea that his father would be a) with him, and b) trying to help him, did not seem to register. Being a reasonably mature adult, I did not take umbrage in the moment, since my son’s well-being was my first priority. But it did sting a little.

Dec 22, 2008 - 12:38 pm 77. Peter the Sub Guy:

bobby b’s comment (#41) refreshes a memory for me;

When I first joined the Navy and was transferred to my training school (following boot camp), the base at the time was considered an ‘open base,’ meaning civilians were allowed on the base to make use of certain public facilities, like the enlisted club. On our first day of class, our instructors warned us all about a common scam on the base. Local families, most often mothers, would drive their under-age daughters on base and drop them off in front of the school barracks, then park in the lot across the street and watch. As soon as any sailor so much as touched their daughter, even as innocently as a hand on a shoulder or a handshake, the mother would file charges of molestation against them, often resulting in the sailor having to settle by paying 50% of his pay until the end of his enlistment in exchange for the ‘charges’ being dropped. Apparently this went on enough times that the Navy was aware of what was going on but could do nothing about it. Fortunately the security condition changed just a few months later and the base was no longer considered ‘open,’ but one has to wonder how much money was made off this scheme by simply setting up the scenario and making accusations?

Dec 22, 2008 - 12:51 pm 78. Roderick Reilly:

“”"”"”"”and there is a large ‘X’ marked on the bench a couple of feet away where the child is firmly directed to sit, allowing a wide corridor of clear and unsullied air between the child and the potential kiddie-fiddler from the North Pole, with his red cheeks, strange reindeer and unaccountable affection for children.”"”"”"”"”"

The original “Santa Claus,” Saint Nicholas, is the patron saint of children, because in his life he was known for his efforts on behalf of both neglected children and mistreated adolescent girls.

What an ignorant, despiccable outrage to sully that memory with such neurotic garbage.

Dec 22, 2008 - 3:56 pm 79. LouAnn:

A cold fact: More women abuse children than men — simply because more women have access to children. Perhaps our only option — other than hermetically sealing off each child — is to remove all children from the care of humans and place them in the care of state-approved robots.

Dec 23, 2008 - 2:16 pm 80. LouAnn:

… or wire each children with alarm systems should a human touch a child in an inappropriate way as deemed by the state.

Dec 23, 2008 - 2:31 pm 81. R. H. Akin:

This is just another case of mamanoia. Most people in this country, especially the ladies seem to be afraid of everything. Case in point. The recent uproar about trace elements of lead in Chinese toys has caused congress to pass the Consumer product Safety Improvement act. which will kill most of the small manufacturers of children’s wooden toys . The act written by some bureaucrat in D.C. requires each piece of a toy to be checked by some opportunistic lab. operator for lead and phthalate at a cost of about $2000. PER PIECE! Even if it’s obviously wood coated with beeswax. Sure we need protection , but why kill thousands of jobs right now. (I am not in the toy or any other mfg. business.) This is going to be another asbestos type gold mine for the lawyers. Apparently common sense is dead in the bureaucracy. I blame the media for a lot of this. I am 85. How did I ever grow up? Let me close my rant with a recent dismaying experience. At a camp ground, a kid about seven asked the name of a plant. I replied “I don’t know. I’m a stranger here myself.’The child immediately started pointing to me, screaming at the top of his voice STRANGER, STRANGER, and ran to his mama. Is every child going to grow up in a state of constant fear? A family memberwho is a psychologist, thinks that apparently it is already happening. The evaporation of people’s savings isn’t helping either. Ref.L.A. Times 12-23

Dec 23, 2008 - 3:02 pm 82. Donna V.:

One of my earliest memories is of being separated from my family at the State Fair and wandering about lost and frightened. I was about 4 at the time. My mother later told me a man spotted me and led me to the information booth just as my worried parents arrived there to report a lost child. (I don’t remember the man, or being reunited with my parents, although the memory of being lost is very strong. As I remember it, I was wandering for hours, but in reality, I was lost and found within 10 minutes.) My parents were extremely grateful to the man. It saddens me to think a little girl or boy in that situation now might wander for God knows how long, because decent men are afraid to approach a child. Ironically, if men with innocent intentions are leery of helping out lost children, it leaves a greater opening for the creep with less innocent intentions.

A co-worker’s son teaches kindergarten and he tries to be very careful. But it’s hard to remain aloof. Nobody, male or female, becomes a primary school teacher because they want to distance themselves from children. (He has 4 children himself, The youngest is handicapped and he is a wonderful father to them.) I fear that it’s a ticking time bomb situation. One day, someone, out of malice or paranoia, will accuse him and those 4 kids will lose their daddy. His mother has advised him to get out of teaching before that happens.

Dec 23, 2008 - 8:58 pm 83. H. Coburn:

Can’t help but feel sympathetic with comment #70. Let’s face it, for 2 generations now in this country we single men have been portrayed as nothing but perverted losers.
Two years ago I was driving down a fairly untravelled highway in the state where I live.
I passed a deserted car with the hood up and about a mile further down the road saw a ‘30ish woman walking with two young children. She waved me down. I stopped and picked her and the kids up and gave them a ride to the next town. As they had obviously walked quite a ways, I asked her if any other cars had been by. She said, Yes, about a half a dozen or so.”
I found this hard to believe that anyone would pass a woman with young children, who were walking along a rather empty highway.
Well, I dropped them off at a gas station where presumably they obtained help.
When I got home I recounted my story to a couple of neighbors. Their comment?
“You did the right thing, but man, you’re a fool. Nobody but an idiot single guy would stop to help any woman or kid. Think about what could have happened.”
Some years ago I was in Namibia, visiting a couple with young children who were friends of mine. They asked if I’d mind babysitting for the evening so they could get out for dinner and a movie or whatever. I said sure. The kids were great. My friends had a nice night out and thanked me. Truly a nice evening.
Do that in America? You’ve got to be kidding!

Dec 23, 2008 - 9:55 pm 84. Mary Jackson:

Ironically, if men with innocent intentions are leery of helping out lost children, it leaves a greater opening for the creep with less innocent intentions.

Quite so – that’s exactly my point.

Thanks for all the comments. It’s strange that, though most people agree with my article – and most people I talk to also agree – the situation continues as it is, and distrust abounds.

Jesus said: “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” If He did it today, would He be arrested?

Dec 24, 2008 - 6:18 am 85. Peter the Sub Guy:

84. Mary Jackson asked:
Jesus said: “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” If He did it today, would He be arrested?

Peter responds: Are you kidding? He wore ‘hippy’ clothes, hung out all day with other guys, had no ‘real’ job and never (as far as we are aware) married or even dated, yet he wanted to hang out with children. Of COURSE he would get arrested in this day and age! The courts would crucify him! (Pun intended.)

Dec 24, 2008 - 10:03 am 86. Chuck Pelto:

TO: Mary Jackson, et al.
RE: The Marginalizing of REAL Men

The whole purpose of this madness is to keep children from knowing any other form of ‘men’ than the meterosexual ones.

The reason?

Because those men are easily manipulated. They have not firm beliefs in country, let alone God.

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[If you think things are bad now....just wait until they've 'fixed' them.]

Dec 24, 2008 - 2:21 pm 87. Chuck Pelto:

TO: Mary Jackson, et al.
RE: [Slightly OT] I Perceive….

Jesus said: “Suffer the little children to come unto me.” — Mary Jackson

…a deep double-entendre in that statement.

Something to do with abortion.

Three guesses. First two don’t count…..

Merry Christmas,

Chuck(le)
[Jesus astonishes and overpowers sensual people. They cannot unite him to history, or reconcile him with themselves. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson]

Dec 24, 2008 - 2:45 pm 88. Chuck Pelto:

P.S. Here is a more complete citation…..

Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. — Mark 10:14-15

Are we learning, yet? — Young John Conner to the T800 in T2

Dec 24, 2008 - 2:49 pm 89. vivo:

“Society Builds Wall Between Men and Children”

The problem is that when men act innocently, the paranoids win.

Dec 24, 2008 - 6:41 pm 90. Tina Trent:

A few facts about prosecutions in America (and this is largely true in Britain) — the vast majority of sex offenders who target children (and, to a smaller degree, adult victims of both sexes) are still not prosecuted. So whether or not it upsets respondents who attribute every mention of rape to feminist hysteria, in reality, wrongful convictions are practically nonexistent, and the chance of rapists going free remains shockingly high.

Activists, including too many contemporary feminist activists, choose to create generalized hysteria about molestation rather than condemning real assailants because they are firmly embedded in a political culture that views offenders — especially minority offenders — as the real and exclusive victims. In deference to political correctness, these activists prefer to blame all men in lieu of blaming real rapists and child molesters. All this is true. These activists vehemently oppose policies that do work — three strikes laws, registries, and long sentences. Registries alone have taken thousands of rapists off the streets, though the media refuses to report this. And Britain’s best-model DNA databasing is currently under attack by the EU — a new and very disturbing development.

We actually owe a debt to people like Susan Brownmiller, whose balanced work on rape and rape law in the Seventies would surprise many if they bothered to read it. The feminist movement of the Seventies deserves much credit for changing a system in which rapists nearly always walked free. Sadly, recent generations of feminists care more about political correctness than justice. But there has always been a cohort of conservative, anti-crime feminists who work well with the police and do not resort to male-bashing. Knee-jerk hysteria about wrongful convictions and “cruel” registries are a distraction from the realities of under-prosecuted sex crimes.

Perhaps the most important legal reform, outside DNA databasing, is disallowing sex offenders to plead down to non-sexual crimes. Once DNA databases started identifying rapists, majorities of sex offenders thus identified had long records consisting of non-sex offenses, like burglary — many of which were actually rapes pled down again and again and again.

There’s nothing hysterical about acknowledging that. And if more people did so, perhaps we could all agree to focus on our still-dismal conviction rates for this crime, even as we endorse Mary’s important point about the shameful criminalizing of decent men. Fetishizing criminals while criminalizing non-criminal men are twinned products of the same liberal mindset. But the existence of that mindset doesn’t mean that rape is merely a product of fertile imaginations.

Dec 24, 2008 - 7:48 pm 91. cjrian:

I’m a single male with custody of 2 grandchildren. I’ve had CPS “visits” twice. Once when a new neighbor thought “something is funny” about our living arrangement. The second was an unfounded report of child abuse. Both were resolved successfully, but not before extended, anxiety producing contact with a variety “authorities” who bent over backward in attempts to get me to implicate myself. I’ll continue to do what I must, but I have little remaining respect for those charged with protecting our kids.

Dec 24, 2008 - 9:11 pm 92. Peter the Sub Guy:

For the first couple of years that I served in the Navy, my parents cared for my toddler daughter. A foundless accusation was made against my father by another family member (in an attempt to blackmail my father) resulting in a visit by NYC ACS. The social worker who made the initial visit reported she could find no evidence of abuse and only a healthy family situation, but the rules stated the report had to be filed and investigated by NYPD. That’s where the problems began. A female detective was assigned to the case who started with the mindset that my father was guilty and she was going to go out of her way to prove it. Then a different social worker in the clinic where my daughter was taken for a medical exam also started with the attitude that if the accusation was made my father was guilty and my daughter should be removed from the home. (Fortunately this particular social worker was in Connecticut, where I was based, and not NY, so she had no authority to remove my daughter from her loving home.) The investigation took about six months before the police had to finally agree with the ACS social worker, that there was no evidence of any abuse, sexual or otherwise, that our home was a loving, normal home and that the initial accusations were baseless. That didn’t help my father any because, a little less than a month after the investigation began, suffered a stress induced heart attack. While he survived the initial attack, he was never the same, and he was never the same with my daughter, who before the accusation he would often hug or hold as he read books to her. It hurt my daughter at least as much as it did my father that he was no longer as close to her as she was used to. And my father’s health continued to deteriorate until he passes away from a second heart attack less than two years later.

Dec 26, 2008 - 12:49 pm 93. ztp:

Is it possible the power-hungry feminists who demanded these horrible laws didn’t have happy families. So they want to ensure no other child ever has a happy family either?

Seeing intact, happy families with a loving father must really kill the feminists. They never experienced that.

Dec 26, 2008 - 5:36 pm 94. Corbin:

> A cold fact: More women abuse children than men — simply because more women have access to children.

No, LouAnn, that’s a lie. Many women tell themselves this lie to avoid guilt and personal accountability. Lies like this protect the myth that women are pure, all-good souls — and by intimation perpetuate the myth that only men do evil.

More women abuse children than men. Period. That’s a fact.

Deal with it, because it’s not going away.

Dec 27, 2008 - 12:59 am 95. Jhn Milder:

Pretty scary society isnt it!

Jess
http://www.privacy-tools.at.tc

Dec 27, 2008 - 4:43 am 96. Kehl Lutz:

Here in the states we have a rash of cases where older women and teachers are being caught with young boys in sexual situations. Just recently a lady very active with her childrens’ school activities was found, with her pants down, in an SUV with a 13 year old boy. Machismo and that blather aside, I ever catch my son with a dirty older woman I will likely be in the pen for assault. It goes both ways and that is what I think is swept under the rug. Old dirty bags should be thrown right in there with the rest of the peedos.

Dec 27, 2008 - 8:59 am 97. Mr Nobody:

13. Steve:
“Just the other day I saw a little girl in the grocery store who was obviously lost. It’s sad that my first unconscious reaction was to let her out of my sight long enough to find a female to help out for fear of someone thinking I was abducting the child whilst I helped her try to find her parent.”

More than once in my life I have been in an almost identical situation with a small and very distressed child. Like you I ignored them (though I did find a female employee to deal with it). And it really cuts me up, because I love kids. I have nieces and nephews who I cherish greatly and take care of frequently, and I would never hurt a hair on a child’s heads. But being a single, childless, middle-aged male, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I am going to put myself at risk of those vicious hysterical life-destroying accusations (except maybe very briefly if the child’s life is in immediate and obvious danger).

We have truly lost our minds over this issue to full blown public hysteria about ’stranger danger’, from the moralistic thugs in this world.

And full credit to Boris Johnston for his sane remarks on this issue.

Dec 27, 2008 - 4:17 pm 98. Chris:

Mary Jackson,

are you the same Mary Jackson who wrote the comments on this PJM article?
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/ask-dr-helen-workplace-discrimination-against-men/

Dec 30, 2008 - 12:53 am 99. Mary Jackson:

Yes.

Dec 30, 2008 - 3:45 am

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