The Strange Lives of Political Wives
Long hours, no credit, no pay, lots of criticism. Can you think of a worse job?
Political wives. Can you think of a worse job? Married to type A personalities with more than a little bit of a narcissistic streak, these women — often educated and accomplished in their own right — must present a subservient demeanor and a sunny picture of their spouses or risk their spouses’ success. In addition, they often play a big part in their husbands’ careers by campaigning or crafting strategy. It is a rare politician whose wife operates outside the inner political circle.
Hillary Clinton famously said, “I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.” She was dubbed the “co-president.” While her husband presided, socialized medicine failed under her unelected but powerful watch. A formidable woman, Ms. Clinton became a New York senator and is now the secretary of state. She ran largely on the experience she gleaned as the president’s wife.
But Hillary Clinton is not the only notable political wife. Dolley Madison bravely rescued priceless artwork from the White House as the British troops advanced. Eleanor Roosevelt was a first lady activist for the poor and campaigned for equal rights. Betty Ford revealed her alcoholism and helped a whole generation deal with addiction. And now, Michelle Obama is known for her fashion sense, her toned biceps, and her White House garden.
Many political wives aren’t just known for their contributions to the political sphere. Many endured having their private lives made public. Hillary Clinton isn’t only known for her politics and ambition. She is also known as the woman who stood by her husband’s side despite his infidelity and abuse of power. A staunch feminist, she demonized the women who were victims of her husband’s advances and infamously decried “the vast right-wing conspiracy.”
Other political women continue to stand by their wayward men. Most recently and notably, Elizabeth Edwards, a lawyer like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama, publicly faced her husband’s straying:
Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, writes in a new memoir that news of her husband’s affair made her vomit.
“I cried and screamed, I went to the bathroom and threw up,” Edwards, 59, who has terminal cancer, writes in Resilience.
She said she wanted her husband to drop out of the race to protect the family from media scrutiny, but stood by his side anyway.
Many political wives endure such shame. James “I’m gay” McGreevey’s wife was dragged into sexual allegations once her husband’s sexual orientation was made public. And there is poor Ms. Eliot Spitzer, who stood by while her husband admitted to hiring hookers:
Spitzer revealed that his wife stood by him at the crucial time, as she could understand what he was going through.
“When you’re in the foxhole with somebody, and there are incoming mortars, that breeds a certain closeness because nobody else can appreciate what you’re going through,” Spitzer added.
His statement and Hillary Clinton’s statement that she knew her husband was going to “always be interesting” lead one to believe that politics is a team effort and certain trade-offs and deals are made between spouses. It is such a commitment of time, energy, and resources — how can a political life not be a joint ambition?
I had the opportunity to be the first to interview Meg Wasinger, wife of Rob Wasinger, Republican primary contender for the open Kansas congressional seat. A mother of nine whose ages range from 8 months to 14 years, she finished her degree while nursing her babies and homeschooling the older children — and while her husband was Senator Sam Brownback’s chief of staff. The Wasingers recently moved back to Kansas where the whole family is helping her husband campaign.
Ms. Wasinger comes from a high-achieving family of women. Her sister, a dentist and mother of eight, would take breaks from seeing patients to nurse her babies. Another sister is a doctor and mother of four who teaches at Harvard Medical School. Their own mother was a nurse who stayed home to raise her daughters.
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Dr. Melissa Clouthier is a chiropractor who blogs at MelissaClouthier.com and Right Wing News.
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11 Comments
1. bluecollarbytes:How does Eliot Spitzer come off whining about ‘what he went through’? The guy should be known as the eternal-john. I look for him to replace his wife prior to some future resurrection in politics.
May 31, 2009 - 5:09 am 2. AThinkingPerson:Putting Hillary Clinton and Dolly Madison into the same league is like putting Obama in the same sentence as honorable or patriotic. Two opposing terms.
I have no sympathy for political spouses unfortunately. They know what they’re getting into from the get go. I just wish they would use their public personas for more than just self promotion. Laura Bush was a wonderful example of a first wife who used her title for good works. Michelle Obama? Well, she certainly has nice arms and goes on a lot of tax payer paid date nights. I guess when your husbands best qualifications for the job of TOTUS is reading a teleprompter, you can’t be asked to have any better qualities either. Is it 2012 yet?
May 31, 2009 - 6:45 am 3. RAH:A wife used to be an asset to an executive, who could make or break his career. Since her family and her personal fortune were tied to the husband success, she had an incentive to help him.
Dual job marriages have ruined that model. Married women often have their own careers that they will not allow to be subservient to the mans job.
Politicians need to have a wife that agrees her job outside the home is subservient to his.
Easier for Republicans who are more fundamental Christian and has already absorbed the idea that the women’s role is to be mother and helpmate. Her status is tied to her husbands. That is why it is so cruel when the husband publicly humiliates the wife like Bill Clinton or Edwards.
I am not surprised about this example. They come from a red state and the wife comes from a family that believes in large families that will sacrifice to help the father succeed in his chosen career.
May 31, 2009 - 6:56 am 4. Delia:“The real housewives of DC”?
May 31, 2009 - 7:20 am 5. Sandy Cash:Camille West, the “clown princess” of folk music, has a great song about this called “Candidate’s Wife Rag”:
“…Hail to the Chief
and the man who stands beside her
It’s tough but I can take it
after all I’ve seen him naked
But I’m still his biggest fan
stand by my man
when his rhetoric’s so thick
you need a knife
I can cut through it. I’m the candidate’s wife
You get four to eight, but I get life
It’s hard to be the candidate’s
I hope that you appreciate
that it’s hard to be the candidate’s wife”
Full lyrics at Camille’s site:
http://www.camille-west.com/camille_west_lyrics_candidate.htm
(Why? Because I’m a fan, that’s all!)
May 31, 2009 - 8:52 am 6. Dred Scott:To paraphrase Ladybird, political wives know the deal. It is the children who have so say until they become adults, but then they usually benefit. It is not unreasonable to expect that for Obama’s girls, as with many political sons and daughters, the rest of their lives will be purple…
May 31, 2009 - 12:11 pm 7. heathermc:I don’t think a politician can make it very far without an active supportive wife who is “really” a partner, and who knows the drill. Politics is rough. A successful politician has to have a wife/husband who will watch his/her back all the time. Like Todd Palin. Or Barbara Bush.
May 31, 2009 - 12:47 pm 8. AThinkingPerson:Re #5 Delia: BRAVO just announced that they are coming out with that exact show. How funny can that possibly be?
May 31, 2009 - 4:11 pm 9. Federale:This is just a case of Stalinist vs. Trotskyite. Or, as they said in Get Smart, My Kaos is purer than your Kaos.
May 31, 2009 - 5:41 pm 10. BPT:Many First Ladies (not all) are control freaks and love the power. Michelle Obama is a classic case – a real photograph-loving broad.
May 31, 2009 - 7:08 pm 11. Praetorian:“Long hours, no credit, no pay, lots of criticism.”
Shopping at Bergdorfs, plastic surgery, the little yoga girl that comes to the house three time a week, etc.
Can you think of a worse job?
Sounds pretty good to me.
May 31, 2009 - 10:19 pm