Scott Ott satirically writes, “Obama Taps Ralph Nader to Run GM, Nader Joins UAW.”

But meanwhile, this speech by President/GM CEO Barack Iacocca is apparently real (or as real as anything coming out of Washington these days):

It is my hope that the steps I am announcing today will go a long way towards answering many of the questions people may have about the future of GM and Chrysler. But just in case there are still nagging doubts, let me say it as plainly as I can — if you buy a car from Chrysler or General Motors, you will be able to get your car serviced and repaired, just like always. Your warrantee will be safe.

In fact, it will be safer than it’s ever been. Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warrantee.

As Roger Kimball writes, “What? Not feeling better after all? How can that be?”

Perhaps because, as James Lileks writes, “Maybe I’m old-school, but ‘President fires CEO’ looks as wrong as ‘Pope fires Missile.’ Does not compute.”

More news regarding Bizarro World Motors, here. Elsewhere, Don Surber has your T-shirt of the day.

Update: The country’s in the very best of hands! (And so are its businesses.)

Update: “Nine Scariest Words in the English Language Amended.” But it’s a “Genuwine Guvmint Warrantee!” Also known as “the Federal Unionized Bureau of Auto Repair”–or FUBAR for short.

Update: All hail President Goodwrench, and his personalized first-person service!