After 6 months of engagement only I decided to take the chance to marry him, and to trust him even if he had cheated me with dating profiles. We were very much in love with each and he seemed to be so much into me…he told me he loved everything about me and my personality, and he always wanted to be with me every free moment he had. We became very attached and got married, and the first couple of months we got along very well. But two months after marriage, he started fighting agressively with me again…even if the fights were caused by him, with small lies that I would catch him on..etc..He would turn around and offend me and try to deny his mistakes, and then blame me for his mistakes, and one day later admit it was his fault. He repeatedly did this cycle over and over, with every fight, and it became worse the last 6 months of our marriage, where he would also call his cousin, and his mother and brother to involve them in our marriage problems. Of course, as I understood many times before I married him, that most Palestinian or Arab families take the side of the son, and not his wife regardless of the reasons. So, I experienced this very much with his family. While he would intentionally or unintentionally ruin my image with his family at the moment of a fight…his mother was protecting him, and speaking badly about me. Of course, they didnt hear my side of the story, and even if they did, they would support him.

Anyway, they adviced for him to divorce me a couple of times, and he didnt want to because he said he loved me too much and he would start crying as he did many times before when I was threatening to divorce him for his agression. Though, with all of our arguing, and also finding out he was a depressed person as he told me during our marriage, and with his family negatively influencing our marriage…he was the one who decided to end the marriage recently. I was also tired of giving him so many chances to change during our 1 yr of marriage..but I realized at the end it was for the best. I felt I had married him and his family and they kept pushing him to divorce me! They were not neutral and only cared that he was able to help them financially every month to take care of them, even if we couldnt afford it. This is another reason they didnt care for me, asides that I was a Western women, and 6 yrs older then their son..(even if we looked the same age). I also know these were all big points against me. So with all of these factors our marriage ended.

The day of our divorce, an Egyptian and (very professional judge), took my side of the story, and blamed my exhusband for giving up on the marriage to make his changes, and that it was a huge mistake to be involving his family. Also, that he should have never hit me! He also told him he was not a good muslim because he didnt have God in his life. He asked him to pray during the month of Ramadan and bring God into his life, but actually he did the opposite. The following day he again wanted to hit me, and I grabbed my suitcases right away and asked our roomates to help me leave safely from him, since I didnt have any family or contacts to help me in UAE. He left the home to go stay with his brother and he sent me messages shortly after accusing me of having an affair with his roomate…which was ridiculous and not true! Then, the following morning I took a taxi to the airport, and will NEVER ever consider living in a Muslim-male dominated country again…even if UAE is considered as one of the most open minded of countries in the Middle East.

To make things worse, he sent me threatening emails, telling me that I can never return to UAE for any reason, or he will send me to the prison! This was very shocking to my family in USA…as they spoke to him recently before the divorce,and he admitted to them I was a good wife, and that he was sorry to hurt me so much. I start to wonder at the end was he interested in the USA Visa, especially knowing that I heard his mother speaking of this to him. I was very sad that things ended, especially so unfairly, with him accusing me of cheating him, and also that he will send me to the prison if I return. I was never racist, or discriminated against any race or religion, but with my story, and all of other people’s stories, it makes me convinced that this is a very tough culture to deal with and to marry. They have alot of hate inside of them (especially the Palestinian people)…and I know alot of this stems from the wars and that most of them are refugees in other countries, and arent allowed priviliges as others. So I can understand part of their hatred. But, they take it out alot on the women. They are very revengful, and that is why I feel they also do not give up in fighting with Israel. I have learned that I had great love for the culture before, but now I understand why so many people warned me to not marry into this culture, especially the Palestinian culture. Even, I noticed having lived in UAE that alot of the Arab woman are so serious, and appeared unhappy…half of them are completely covered, and it’s not a religion choice…it’s because of their controlling husbands. Even, I met a psychologist there who told me that he had the experience to work with so many arab marriages, and he adviced me that my exhusband probably would not change his personality. He mentioned that women in these Middle Eastern countries are considered mostly as posessions with no rights…to express themselves, or have the same equal rights in general as the men. He told me my exhusband treated me this way mostly because of his upbringing in the Middle East, and that he probably saw his own mother being mistreated by his father…and he had learned this behavior and passed it on to me. He adviced me if I had children with him, he can take them from me, and return back to his country, if we had moved to USA. The psychologist, adviced me that this was one of the most difficult of cultures to marry into. I would never again get involved in marrying an arab, especially with a Palestinian. I recommend for women to stay away from them. I also heard from an arab friend that told me about his own culture, that most arabs are sneaky, and use people and their religion for their advantages…I know that their are exceptions out there, and I have always been very open minded and have many friends from all over the world, but I will definetely stay away from dating this particular culture, and be more selective with whom to keep as my friends as well. I hope my experience will teach women out there, who may consider dating this culture. This culture has ALOT to learn about respecting women! It’s very unfortunate that so many women are treated so unfairly, and dont have many rights of freedom and expression! Thank God, I was smart enough to always defend myself, and to not turn into the normal submissive woman in their culture! That is why my husband and his family wanted the divorce, because he could not walk over me! If you have a similar experience or advice please share it with me. Thank you. Take care.

In the last 3 years I have gotten to know many Muslim people from UAE, Syria,Algiers,Egypt, Morocco,Lebanon,Jordan all the Middle East and I have found the highest majority of the people to be kind,caring,respectful and family oriented. I respect and try to understand all cultures and religions even if it is not mine. Not all Middle Eastern Men and or women are good just like not all men or women in USA, France, Greece, England, Africa, Australia~ all over world there is good and bad people..so it is unfair to label the Muslim male population as all bad.

Child and Spousal Abuse is a WORLD WIDE epidemic and not specifically a Arabic issue. Not all but many of the women that get into these situations…do not take time to know the person and try to think with the heart, lust and not with the mind. Not all but some of these women would find themselves in a situation with a controlling and abusive man in what ever relationship they get into because of not wanting to pay attention to the warning signs in the beginning of the relationship. Believe it or not people do not just change over night if we look very close into their souls the revelation of who they really are is a mirrors image reflecting back to us.

On the flip side of the coin many Arabic young men are frustrated with the lack of opportunities and restrictive religious laws. They have been introduced to America and the free world’s social freedom threw music, TV and internet connection sites ~(free porn). Often these young Arabic men or men from ??? from whatever country…see America as the land of opportunity
and think a lot of America is like Hollywood and Los Vegas ~ and some will try to get to America by marrying women they do not really love (mainly middle aged because they have homes, cars, things to offer them and these women shower them with affection, send money, open their hearts,(believing the lie~ because they need to believe it) but they are only the bridge to America or a Free Country where a new life awaits.

Usually these men already have other women waiting them that they have met threw these sites and after the bridge gets them to US, England etc. and they obtain their green card. A lot of times these young men when they get to their dream destination only to find; streets not lined in gold, money doesn’t grow on trees,the language barriers,work and independence not easy to get as anticipated and they are still dependent on the bridge “sweet apple” that brought him to new life..

The frustration of finding the new life’s disappointment and still having no control over anything in their life’s the bridge becomes the target of the built up anger. Finding us hearing stories of abuse and control like listed above.