Roger’s Rules

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September 25th, 2008 1:44 am

Watch where you’re going! Or, plumbing and the progress of soft jihad

God, Mies van der Rohe may or may not have said, is in the details. I wonder what would Mies have said about this detail, sent to me by my friend Andy McCarthy:

“Toilet facilities are being built at London’s Olympic Park so Muslims will not have to face Mecca while sitting on the loo.”

Thanks for the advisory, pal. And thanks, too, for the additional information that “The Islamic religion prohibits Muslims from facing the Kiblah – the direction of prayer – when they visit the lavatory.”

Noted.

As far as I know, the Catholic Church has not weighed in on the important matter of evacutorial direction, so that is one less burden for me and my co-religionists to conjure with.

Having just participated in a conference on the progress of “soft jihad,” though, I have to say that I absorbed the news about this latest accommodation to Muslim sensitivities with some irritation. No piglet (or other “pig related items“). No fido (dogs, say Muslims, are unclean). And now this.

Some months ago, discovering that English Muslims were up in arms because a certain brand of crisp was processed with alcohol, I offered, free of charge, a pragmatic intervention to tame the progress of jihad, soft, hard, and flaccid:

“Start putting a bit of alcohol in everything edible or potable. There are, of course, other reasons for wishing to increase one’s usual consumption of alcohol, but here is a patriotic imperative to guide you: what if you went into Harrod’s food hall or your local grocery shop and every item had at least some trace amount of alcohol (or, alternatively, pork residue)? I understand that there might be certain logistical difficulties, but if the EU can effectively police the system of mensuration used in its jurisdiction, if it can prohibit certain types of bananas because they deviate too markedly from the perpendicular, then surely they can employ the vast apparatus of their bureaucracy to assure that a drop of alcohol or a dollop of bacon fat is added to any food stuff sold in Britain.”

I suggest that cognate consideration be given to the placement and orientation of public toilets and other relevant bits of plumbing. These are tiny details, it is true, but you have to start somewhere. Mies, I think, would be pleased.

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15 Comments

1. srlucado:

Good idea. A trace of alcohol never hurt anybody.

I guess I have enough of a defiant streak that when someone tells me I must do something stupid to support their ideas, I want to do the exact opposite.

For example, here’s another idea: This year, celebrate Thanksgiving by mailing a ham to a mosque.

Or simplify airport security by requiring passengers to give a thumbprint in bacon grease before boarding.

Offensive to Muslims? Too bad. I’m offended by repeated incidents of people being mass-murdered in the name of Allah. When the Islamofascists show some respect, I’ll return it.

Scott

P.S. When did the Brits get so gutless? These are the people who stood against the Nazis? Now they’re letting their country be taken over by thugs and religious fanatics even as they prosecute a woman for selling produce by the pound. “There’ll always be an England…” – no, there won’t.

Sep 25, 2008 - 3:39 am 2. Paul:

How about a quiet, but seriously enforced, new requirement for all British TV broadcasters and channels, gummint and “independent,” including Al Jazeera: partial (short but poignant)reeruns of old “Lassie” films twice each day, morning and evening?

Sep 25, 2008 - 6:39 am 3. Paul:

I did enjoy your locution, BTW, by which religious belief entails burdens with which the believer may or must conjure.
~{:->}

Sep 25, 2008 - 6:47 am 4. LSD:

God is in the details and Satan is in my sandwich!

Sep 25, 2008 - 9:42 am 5. Judith:

“what if you went into Harrod’s food hall or your local grocery shop and every item had at least some trace amount of alcohol”

Harrod’s is owned by an Egyptian, Muslim I presume, dad of Dodi Harrod, Princess Diana’s late flame, & doubt if he’d approve of the additional alcohol content. Besides, a little less alcohol may do the Brits a bit of good given the prevalence of brutish, vulgar London drunks roaming the streets & subway. These uncouth British drunks have replaced the stereotypical English gentleman.

Sep 25, 2008 - 10:14 am 6. Mary Jackson:

When did the Brits get so gutless? These are the people who stood against the Nazis?

These uncouth British drunks have replaced the stereotypical English gentleman.

On the one hand the British “stood against the Nazis”. On the other hand, we were pathetic appeasers until Uncle Sam came along to save our sorry “ass”.

On the one hand we have rolled over and accepted Sharia. On the other hand we have rolled over in a haram drunken stupour.

I find my country very confusing. But yes, let’s have more alcohol everywhere and toilets pointing in a meccerly direction.

Sep 25, 2008 - 12:33 pm 7. Mary Jackson:

I’ve visited a number of Muslim countries, and I’m pretty sure they’re not fussed about which way the toilets face. In fact it doesn’t matter which way they face, in many cases, as control appears to be rather limited.

In any case, isn’t the thing different for men and women, at least part of the time?

So once again we get political correct non-Muslims being more Muslim than the Muslims.

Sep 25, 2008 - 2:29 pm 8. srlucado:

LSD: That’ll teach you to eat deviled ham.

Scott

Sep 25, 2008 - 2:30 pm 9. KD:

While the Unired States faces one of the worst economic crises in its history, the conservative “intellectual” wit Roger Kimball worries about “soft jihad” in Britain.

Sep 25, 2008 - 6:59 pm 10. KD:

Correction: United States

Sep 25, 2008 - 7:25 pm 11. Hanoi Paris Hilton:

Let me be the first to tell you, KD, your “helpfulness” as to what the host of this blog should and should not post on, is obnoxious to certain of his readers.

Roger is being a wiseguy, but the issue of the soft jihad –the astounding voluntary dhimmification of non-Muslim majority populations in non-Muslim countries– is absolutely non-trivial!

Meanwhile why don’t you put up your own blog and write to your pretty little heart’s content on who’s an “intellectual” and who’s not and on what constitutes America’s worst crises and what doesn’t.

Why don’t you go play somewhere else?

Sep 25, 2008 - 8:04 pm 12. KD:

Good idea. You boys enjoy your fantasies.

Sep 26, 2008 - 7:01 am 13. LTCTed:

Please don’t tell, but fruit juices contain up to 0.50% alcohol depending upon how ripe was the source fruit, and how long the juice has been open to the air. Those darn li’l yeasties! C. f. homemade root beer.

Sep 26, 2008 - 8:27 am 14. Nine-of-Diamonds:

Hanoi Paris Hilton:

It’s not that the Left Wingers are really concerned about the economic crisis – instead, they more or less support what the Muslims are trying to do to the Brits’ rights and want to deflect attention. Hence the misdirection and the sniveling about Roger “not posting about the economic crisis”. Understanding how foreign populations are losing their rights – even in supposedly enlightened “Western” nations – helps us understand what Obama has in store for people in the US if he wins the election. You’ve probably read the article on this blog about the “Truth Squads” threatening people with libel charges. I don’t doubt for a second that O would do the same thing on a national scale, as long as he could get away with it.

Sep 26, 2008 - 1:43 pm 15. Heather:

So it’s more respectful to crap in the direction of Mecca than to be facing Mecca when you crap?

What am I missing?

Sep 26, 2008 - 4:07 pm