I have not laughed that hard sense I saw Kerry shaking his fanny while wind surfing. really.

I think they should institute standardized tests at the polling place.

We kind of had that already, with the butterfly ballot.

If someone can’t trace from a candidate’s name to punch the corresponding hole, well…it’s appropriate that that person’s vote should count toward the contrary political position.

We are a Republic designed to thwart the will of the mob.

Even republics can be subverted.

Example. Lots of Democrats in California. California starts becoming a lousy place to live, or just becomes downright unaffordable. People leave California. They move to, say, Maricopa County in Arizona. Arizona used to be staunchly Republican.

The governor elected last year … is a Democrat.

The concept of a Republic and the Electora college does well when there are pockets of influence — the EC does prevent Los Angeles, New York and Chicago from dictating the entire direction of the rest of the USA.

The problem is when people start leaving those areas, infiltrate the rest of the nation, like mold through blue cheese

I kid, I kid.

But seriously. I think they should institute standardized tests at the polling place. The percentage you score on the test is the percentage your vote counts. (Yes, I can hear the “racism!” screams already). But I’m talking very basic knowledge skills.

- how many states are in the United States of America?

A. 13

C. 50

D. 52, including Iraq and Puerto Rico

- what are the three branches of government?

A. Newspapers, Television, Radio

B. Executive, Legistative, Judicial

C. Executive, Military, Media

- what are the names of your senators?

A. Ernest goes to the Senate

B. Lawrence Welk, Marsha Clark

C.

- how many senators are there in the senate?

A. 50

B. 462

C. Too Many

- what does “bicameral” mean?

A. Half chocolate, have caramel

B. Two Houses

C. Two Camels

- what is the law of supply and demand?

A. If you supply it, someone will demand it.

B. If you demand it, someone will supply it.

C. They never have what you need at the store.

- how many eggs do you have, if you have five dozen eggs?

A. a chicken

B. 60

C. I like scrambled eggs.

- if all blorps are blue, and all gorps are blorps, then what color is this gorp?

A. puce!

B. WTF is a gorp?

C. blue

…. but anyway.

Hah, flenser, you’re behind — those are the Kerry stories already. Check out Wonkette.

On the other hand, the “party hearty Bush” stories seem to have sold Ana Marie on him. If they’d have only mentioned that Bush likes anal sex (with women) she’s be signing on to Blogs for Bush.

But then so are Frost Giants and Grendel.

“there is nothing more that Kerry can do to Bush; no way Bush can be attacked that has not already been done.”

Ah, but you’re wrong! Even as we speak the Dem’s are sewer diving for anything they can find. A gossip columnist is their next Great White Hope. I never thought I’d see the day when Lyndon LaRouche came across as saner and more mainstream than the Democratic party

How soon before the stories about Cheney’s enormous member hit the AP wire? (Maybe I’ll suggest it to them. The poor guys are having a hard time lately)

The fundamental issue comes down to this — there is nothing more that Kerry can do to Bush; no way Bush can be attacked that has not already been done. Thus, where Bush is now is where he is staying — right at 50% or so, maybe a point or two more. Yet Kerry is still ripe for fresh attacks and there is a lot of yet-unused material for the Bush campaign to use to drive up Kerry’s negatives. This will counteract the natural tendency for undecideds to go for the challenger and basically keep the race’s numbers locked where they are.

My ability as a lyric diplomatist is the stuff of legend.